What kind of stories would he have told?
hell, imagine the stories someone can tell when they’re 100.
then double that…and add another quarter in, and you’ve got all that history, all those stories.
turtles aren’t just pets, they’re heirlooms, for crying out loud.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, which stories would he have told? What kind of wisdom could he have imparted in particular?
maybe about what a pain in the butt sea travel was in the 1700’s?
"Aahhhyep, I recall that there was this one mud hole, aright near the middle part a’ the island… well, no, it was more southerly than that, actually… kind o’ mid-southerly. Any hoo, this mud hole, it was sort of sheltered, right up agin’ a stand o’ scrub palms, so’s it would stay wet near all year round. Wettish, any way. Muddy. Ahh, that was a favorite spot o’ mine. We used to pile up in that there mud hole, three deep sometimes, just to keep cool.
" A’course it was mostly guano, really, but still… best spot on the whole dang island for a nice cool nap, most of the time. Not like you could get clear of the guano, anyway… whole island was prett’near solid guano from one coast t’ other… We figured that s’long as we were goin’ t’ be a’ traipessing through guano all the time, well… might just as well be *cool * guano. Heh-hehh-hehhh–a–HHHACKKCKKK Hem.
"I ever tell you about them lizards? Oh, ayeh, there was these lizards use’t’ run up’n down m’shell, during the summertime. We all had ‘em. Everybody had lizards. Sometimes you couldn’t sleep for lizards. They lived up under the shell, on top a’ the shell, ever’where on the shell. And ever’ single squar’ inch of shell was prett’near covered with guano. Lizard guano.
"Well, now one year, there was this big ol’ monsoon, and prett’near every single lizard got washed away. Well sir, I’m here to tell you, without them lizards, we were all over m’skeeters. Turns out 'twas the lizards keeping the m’skeeters down! And with them lizards gone, them m’skeeters had them a field day…oh, Lordy, did they ever. And let me tell you, the next year, when them lizards came back, we’d never been s’happy to see a lizard. I never did complain no more about them lizards.
"One thing we never did have back on the island was carrots. Lord, I loves me a carrot. And sweet apples-- mercy! I swear, if I had m’druthers, I’d never eat me a thing but carrots and sweet apples. They give me the whistlin’ toots somethin’ awful, but ain’t they tasty! Never had 'em on the island. Not a one. Not a carrot, not a sweet apple. What did we have back then? Grass! Coarse grass and palm leaves. And we were grateful! We were happy to get 'em!
“Ayeh… grass and leaves, ever’ single day. Every once in a blue moon, maybe a dead crab. Or a lizard. Hardly ever a lizard; couldn’t catch 'em. Too dang fast, them lizards. Not much meat on a lizard, nohow. I ever tell you about them lizards?..”
They found his diary. An excerpt follows:
January 25, 1846
Hot today. Ate some leaves today.
January 26, 1846
Hot again. Ate some more leaves.
January 27, 1846
Hot today. Had leaves. One stem.
January 28, 1846
Slightly cooler. Ate leaves today.
“And I was quick back then. Yep, I was quite the ath-a-lete back in my 70’s. I used to could run the mile in under 5 hours.”
Did anyone else picture this old tortoise on his deathmat, slowly arching his neck up:
“There…is…another…”
Terrifel, that was wonderful! Still laughing…
Whew, what a relief, I saw the thread title and got all worried about Cher . . .
Sadly, the blurb under the picture calls him an amphibian.
Bad AP. No cookie.
Okay, so we’re looking at the American Revolution, the French Revolution, American Civil War, the industrial revolution, two world wars, Abraham Lincoln’s entire life, the entire history of photography, a freakin’ MILLION other things - all of this happened while that single tortoise lived. Insane.
If you think about this from a different perspective, one of PETA and whatnot, the animal has been a captive for 200+ years. Yeah, yeah, Addwaita would not have lived that long in the wild. So, really, the only thing they know is lettuce and crazy people taking pictures of him for at least 75 years or more!
Seriously cool and a bummer at the same time.
I hope your next life, Addwaita, you are as loved and move juuuust a bit faster.
We’ve got an Alligator Snapping Turtle at work that’s about to turn 101. Wow, this guy was one and a half times his age!
I wonder what finally got him? Simple heart failure or maybe a form of cancer? The article said he’d been sick for a while. The old boy deserved his rest, anyway.
Damn. Now I’m channeling bogus turtle dreams. Last night I dreamed that the people next door had a garden with three large rocks buried mostly in the ground. When I tried to step from rock to rock, I discovered that they were actually huge snapping turtles that moved up out of the ground and tried to bite me.
It’s all your fault. Either that, or I’m haunted by the ghost of 250 year old Addwaita.
They would all be about lettuce.
This turtle was actually older then the rolling stones or aerosmith? :eek:
That tortoise passed the baton to my husband shortly before he expired…
I think someone, perhaps a guest, might consider Addwaita for a screen ID.
And nicely done Terrifel. That was really funny and very well done!
But he still didn’t know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.