This is almost a contest. Post a Barack Obama joke. I don’t think it is really possible. Over here are five jokes posted by a blogger. They do not count.
I like the guy, but his cyborg-like lack of a sense of humor is off-putting.
Anyone? Buhler? Buhler?
What do you call a black man running for president?
Barack Obama.
What’s long and hard and black and filled with seamen?
The USS Barack Obama (the submarine that will be named in his honor, many years after he has distinguished himself as a President.)
What’s Obama’s favorite kind of music?
Barack’N’Roll.
I’m thinking of something that Michelle Obama has that Barack likes to eat. It’s brown, hairy on the outside, but soft and wet on the inside. It starts with a C, ends with a T, and has the letters N and U in the middle. What is it?
A coconut.
OK, any Grade Five humor? Groan! 
OK…
So Barack Obama and John McCain were sitting at the Politico’s Club, talking about their craziest sexual experiences.
Obama says, “so, my wife Michelle likes to play BDSM games with me. Not just sexually, but psychologically too. I like to be humiliated and degraded. So the other night I was all tied up to the bed, and handcuffed, and Michelle’s slapping me across the face and telling me I’m a worthless piece of shit and that I’ll never amount to anything. All the insults were just making me hotter and hotter.”
“Shit,” said McCain, taking a drag on the spliff. “Go on…”
"So, then she started saying, ‘you’re going to fail as a politician! You’ll never be president. McCain is going to win. That’s right.’ She was whispering it right in my ear. McCain is going to win because he’s so much more of a man than you’ll ever be.’ It was really getting me turned on - I was hard as a goddamned rock, John. And then comes the kicker:
‘I fucked John McCain! I fucked him while you were playing bridge last night, Barack, I fucked him and his dick was sooooo much bigger than yours. It was so thick, and it made me feel so good. I got off more intensely than you could ever make me, Barack. I fucked McCain!’ And right then she slapped me across the face. And I came SO hard, I just shot about a pint of come right on Michelle’s tits. And then we laughed and cuddled for 2 hours. I’m telling you, man, it’s some intense shit, and I really dig it. So from now on, we agreed that whenever we fuck, she’s going to tell me that she fucked YOU, because it turns me on so much to be degraded like that"
McCain, laughing: “I’ll be damned, Barry. That is one hell of a story.” He took a drink of Scotch, then said: “Well, now it’s my turn. But I don’t know if you’re going to like what you’re about to hear.”
Obama: “Well, shoot, do your worst.”
McCain says, "So there I was in that filthy Hanoi Hilton, chained to the wall, while they beat me and tortured me every day. Finally, one day, they brought this gook whore into my room. She was like, 17 or 18 years old, had the most perfect ass you’d ever seen, wearing a little slit skirt, and her tits were just popping out of her top. I got a hard-on like you wouldn’t believe. So they had her strip off her clothes, and get right on top of me. I was still chained up, and she was starting to reach down my pants with her hand.
“The Sergeant said, ‘McCain, you tell where American troop are, and she fuckee you right now. You don’t tell, and she cut off your ding-dong.’ Right then, I felt the whore slide the edge of a razor along my nutsack. All of a sudden I was scared shitless, and my dick just went limp. But I said, 'I’m not telling you fucking guys a goddamn thing, and you can all go plumb to hell!”
Obama: “What did she do?”
“She took that razor and dug it in, and slid it all the way underneath my junk. That’s right. You’re the first person I’ve ever told, but my dick and balls were cut off in the war. Sliced right off of me like a moldy old salami. When I got back to the States, I went to this clinic in Arizona and I got a prosthetic dick and balls, but they’re just for looks. I can’t actually get it up. I’ve never been able to get it up, since then - the blood doesn’t flow to it. It just hangs there limp. My kids - they’re all adopted. I haven’t had sex in decades.”
Obama: “God dammit, John. There goes my sex life!”
OK, that was funny as hell. Sick, sick, sick, but funny as hell.
Bump - I want others to experience that joke, since I have to say, I think it’s not bad.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Change.
Change who?
Change for a better future, a better America. We live in the greatest country in the world, a nation which has the strongest economy wherein our dreams fulfilled. So I urge you all to join me to change it. This is the change we can believe in. Can we make that change? Yes, we can!
Barack Obama so presidential, he sat on a quarter and a tear came outta George Washington’s eye. A tear of joy, and of gratitude. Can we fulfill that hope of our founding fathers? Yes! We! Can!
How many lawyers does it take to lead our our nation back to peace and prosperity, back to a position of respect in the world, back to the principles which define this country? Just one: me, Barack Obama. Together, can we make it happen? YES! WE! CAN!!!
Well there’s the obvious:
What’s black and white and red all over?
Barack Obama
Even though that’s not even close to correct, it’s still funny. I think it’s funniest because of its ignorance.
What’s the difference between Barack Obama and Robert Mugabe?
(I don’t have a punch line but I’m sure one of you smarter people than I will provide one)
Yep. It’d be a great one to tell during a lull in Talkin’ John Birch Blues.
Daniel
Historically (before his pandering dash to the center) Obama has had rather Marxist economic views, but since when has 100% accuracy been a prerequisite for a joke?
I doubt you have any idea what “Marxist” even means.
If I’m misunderstanding you, Paul in Saudi, apologies in advance. But it appears you missed the point. Those jokes make fun of Obama’s almost total seriousness. They’re funny because he’s so serious. Here’s a similarly themed joke:
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That’s not funny.
Well, I think it’s hilarious!
Here’s a few from late night shows. About as funny as you’d expect.
I haven’t heard any good McCain jokes, either. Which isn’t to say I haven’t heard any McCain jokes.
Daniel
Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sorority women, mister! That’s not funny either!
What do you call a black man serving in the Senate?
A SENATOR, you racist!
Last night my (far-right) Brother asked me: “What’s the difference between Obama and Osama? Just a little b-s.”
I replied: “Yeah, and that joke is made up of a whole lot of bs.”
That’s not what I heard Jesse wanted to take off.
Jesus, can’t you deniers leave off for a second, even in a joke thread? It’s getting old and it’s not fooling anyone except Liberal.