No, I think your sister-in-law is in the minority.
Worship a river? Bah! What does it care if the world’s got troubles?
Thanks! Summary still stands.
Perhaps not. I finally watched that movie because I thought I should, and I couldn’t finish it. Mostly because I thought, “I HATE this woman. Why am I wasting perfectly good time on this?”
It must know somethin’.
It don’t say nothin’…
Good God, that’s perfect.
Battlestar Galactica: 4 years of dodging robots, 'splosions, frakking, nice side-boobage, some dope smoking…with a pansy-ass limp dick ending that blew goats.
My mother, a black woman born in the late 30s, liked GWTW. She would have said, though, that if you watch the movie thinking you’re supposed to LIKE the characters, you’re confused. You’re supposed to hold everyone (except Mammy) in contempt, and when Rhett leaves Scarlett at the end, you’re supposed to snicker for a moment and then say, “That’s not HALF what you deserve, woman!”
What the–?
I thought you were the big BGS fan!
I was…until the pansy ass limp dick ending that blew goats. Really most of Season 4 was going downhill, with a few good episodes sprinkled in.
Ugly girl (UG) with no prospects falls for ugly boy (UB) whose main attribute is he has lots of money. No clue what he sees in her, except that she’s not batshit crazy like his wife (BC).
Oh, did I forget the wife? UB has a wife locked up. She’s gone crazy and likes to set fire to him, guess she’s pissed about being locked up. UB decides that wife being batshit crazy is grounds for pretending she never existed, and rationalizes this means he should be allowed to commit bigamy. Guess he figures that UG isn’t getting any better offers, prettier girl might have a chance at someone else.
UG’s virtue is saved at the altar by BC’s brother, similarly saving UB from a prison sentence for bigamy.
BC continues with her hobby, ultimately burning down the house, killing herself, and blinding and maiming UB. UG decides to jump his bones now that bigamy isn’t an issue.
Reader wishes BC wife had done the deed sooner, say around page 100.
Oh, God yes, Jane Eyre.
“Oh, whatever shall I do?”
Uh, remember that uncle you have in Spain and you’re his only heir?
“Oh, my life is ruined! I have nowhere to turn!”
Hey, you wanna open this letter from your uncle in Spain?
“Darcy-no-Heathcliff-no-Willoughby-no-*Rochester *is married already! I have to stand out here in the rain!”
Yeah. Sucks to be you. There was something about an uncle back in Chapter, oh, say, maybe 3, and a few times then, and…
“Oh my God! My uncle in Spain died and I’m the sole heir!”
Huh. What a satisfying resolution.
And one variation is about a space station, so there’s not even any traveling.
Crime and Punishment: Russian kills a chick, turns into Holden Caulfield. The end.
Portrait of Dorian Gray: The main guy (can’t remember his name)- “Here is my opinion on EVERYTHING.”
The Harry Potters:
Harry- Here is some magical thing that was undiscovered for hundreds of years that I stumbled upon, and now evil henchmen are trying to kill me
Friends- Don’t worry, we’ll bail you out of pretty much everything.
Voldy- Henchmen! Kill the boy!
Hechmen- (Tries to kill the boy)
Audience- Wow Harry! They’re trying to kill you, you should kill them
JKR- Nope not his nature.
(Rinse and repeat 6 times)
(7th book)
Voldy- Fine I’ll just kill the boy! (Tries, backfires)
Harry (and everyone)- What the hell just happened?
Dumbledore (ghost)- Oh yeah, here’s something I could have told you since day one.
Harry- Shit.
Twilight: I’ve orgasmed over a sparkly vampire like 50 times. But at least we aren’t married!
(By the way, I like Harry Potter and C&P; I just wanted to play the game)
Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: A British guy is only funny by smug writing and making fun of science-fiction cliches.
From the producers of The Matrix.
Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass
RANDOM SHIT! RANDOM SHIT! RANDOM SHIT! It was a dream…
No, that’s Season 8 of Dallas. 
RENT
Whine whine whine we’re broke
Whine whine whine we’ve got AIDS
Whine whine whine we won’t work
Whine whine whine we screw around and do needle drugs
Whine whine whine maybe that’s why we’re broke and have AIDS
Whine whine whine but it’s alright we can do that and
still act contemptuous of those with jobs and health insurance
and we should all be subsidized in our self involved sloth becaussssssssssse----
WE’RE ARTISTS!!! (You don’t believe me? Just ask us!)