“I am NOT that science guy!” denied Tom.
“I’ll sue them for whiplash!” said Tom snidely.
“Now I’m really in the soup,” said Tom wantonly.
“3.1415926535897932,” said Tom piously.
“Do you like my butt implants?” said Tom, with bias.
“Bartender, give me a martini,” Tom said dryly.
Every time Tom saw a keyhole, he peeked intuitively.
This is not a Swifty, but it’s funny. Q: What is the definition of "innuendo? A: An Italian suppository.
“J’ai une bonne rhume,” said Tom fluently.
Q. What do you call an Italian slum? A: A spaghetto. [/bad Italian joke hijack]
Outstanding, Sir.
“2.71828183,” Tom said eerily…
The Wiki article swiped my joke!
:eek:
“1.41421356,” said Tom, beginning to root around for his calculator.
“I support gun control,” said Tom disarmingly.
“Where’s Garfunkel,” Tom asked artlessly.
“Please excuse my flatulence,” Tom said astutely.
“Yesterday was my last day as an eight-year-old,” Tom said benignly.
“Those aren’t my tooth marks, Susan,” Tom said bitterly.
“I think I punched the hole for Pat Buchanan by mistake,” Tom said devotedly.
“Yes, I come from Nevada,” Tom said enviably.
“This is a real pea souper,” Tom said foggily.
“I just downloaded a quartet on my iPod,” Tom said fortunately.
“I couldn’t eat another banana,” Tom said fruitfully.
“I really miss the Princess of Monaco,” Tom said gracelessly.
“I can never remember the words to that song,” Tom said humbly.
“Ohh…ohhh… ahhhh!” Tom said jerkily.
“This has never happened to me before…really,” Tom said limply.
“I’d like two, no, three dozen long stemmed American Beauties, please,” Tom said morosely.
“I oppose building that half-way house down the street,” Tom said nimbly.
FYI, I made all these up myself. This pageis very helpful.
“They weren’t real bullets.”, Tom said blankly.
“Add some grated lemon peel!” Tom said zestfully.
And a question. I don’t recall reading Tom Swift; is the idea of the “Tom Swifty” based upon originals from the series?
“It’s not over beetween us!” Tom exclaimed.
“Square root of two?” asked Tom irrationally.
“I can’t play the guitar,” complained Tom fretfully.
“Now the Star Trek Transporter is a reality,” Tom beamed.
“What do I look like, Tony Stark?” Tom said ironically.
“My feet hurt,” Tom said flatly.
“I feel A-1 today,” Tom said saucily.
“I’ll trim the shrubbery tomorrow,” Tom hedged.
“But…he’s dead,” Tom said stiffly.
“I never wear boxers,” said Tom briefly.
“I just got promoted in the army,” said Tom disgruntledly.
“Hah! I’ll bet your IQ is only 100!” Tom said meanly.
“I can name my son Adolph Hitler if I want to” said Tom fuhrerously
“At first glance, this does appear to be an side dish typical of British Indian cuisine,” said Tom scandalously
“Could you save money on your car insurance?” asked Tom inadvertently
“Right, let’s get this circumcision over with,” said Tom briskly
“It’s been a mixed season for the team,” Tom said winsomely
“I wouldn’t order the Irish salmon,” said Tom officiously
…and now, a short tale of naval derring-do:
“I’m at the front of the boat now,” said Tom proudly
“It’s not a boat, you iggerant lubber, it’s a three-masted sailing vessel.” barked the Captain.
“There’s no need to throw me in the brig,” Tom said guardedly
“But hang on, this lock doesn’t look very sophisticated,” he added pickily
“So long, Captain, I’m jumping ship to swim to the Isle of Wight,” said Tom insolently.