Most people get together with their families, and think of things to be thankful for. But for me, it’s usually an exercise in trying to avoid the things I am -not- thankful for every time a ‘family’ holiday comes and goes.
I can already tell how this evening is going to go. It’s going to go the same way it has every year for as long as I can remember.
First, I’ll answer the same questions over and over again by each family member in turn, and get accused of being mean if I get tired of runnin’ my mouth and directing them to other relatives I’ve already talked to.
Second, I’ll secret myself away to a secluded bedroom with a computer, where I will spend the next five or six hours anticipating the bi-hourly intrusion of family members whining that I’m being anti-social. After everyone has left, I will be yelled at by my parents for being reclusive.
It’s not that I -hate- anyone in my family, terribly. It’s just that I can’t stand to be around them all in such large doses, including my own biological parents. In my mind, the fact that I’m related to them does not automatically make them my -friends-. And in truth, I have very little in common with much of my family. I’ve always been kinda alien to them, and probably always will be. Does this vilify me?
Anyways…I’d much rather spend this Thanksgiving out and about with friends, unfortunately, they’re all tied up with their own families. Since I’m anticipating the rush of relatives pretty soon–I’d like to spend the time reading about your -own- crappy Thanksgiving stories! Don’t be shy! I’m not judgmental!
Hmmmm… well, one year Mr. Cotta’s mom decided her husband was dying of high cholesterol (it turned out to have been an allergic reaction to something else). So she wouldn’t let anyone else cook or bake anything so she could control the amount of fat in the meal. NOTHING had ANY fat or sugar in it. We could not swallow because the food was so dry. We were all issued one pat of margarine for the rolls. As I recall correctly, the people at my table sucked down at least a quart of southern table wine (iced tea) each.
Course, the high point was me in the restroom later that day. I hated their restroom because of all the appliances they put on the toilet for grandma (who had passed by this time, but they left the metal bars and things installed). Anyway, the bars and seat were freezing so I tended to perch above the seat. Too bad I lost my balance and started to fall over. I grabbed the toilet paper holder to catch myself and it ripped out of the wall. I fell over and hit my head on the door.
They all came running and I got to 'splain another one while they picked the paint chips out of my forehead.
I spent Turkey Time with another family. One I don’t know. Or didn’t, until today. I hadn’t realized until today that our Primary-Women-in-the-Offices’(*) inquiries about our holiday plans were, in fact, designed to identify Thanksgiving orphans. I was identified and picked up by the Drilling Manager.
Her family was a hoot. Perhaps I benefitted by being baggage free in that environment. One way or another, they made me feel at home, even as I listened to what seemed a kaleidoscope of speeded-up soap operas of their acquaintance lives.
But, I appreciate the OP’s plaintive cry - all I can tell you, and I mean it, is that it gets better with time.
Lets see…
Went to my gf’s place to pick her up. That was about 1.
Her parents are still refusing to talk to me, long story. So I wave as we’re leaving, I get a very scary/angry face from her dad. I wave again.
Ride home: I start to feel a little woozy. Not sure why. I get home and puke. I sleep for 2 hours, my gf is looking at pictures of me when I was 2. I really gotta hide the photo albums.
I wake up and feel great (until I see my mom and gf looking at the pictures, I go back to bed for a half hour more).
Go to neighbors house for thanksgiving. About a mile away… so me and my gf decide to “walk” (we go back home quickly to steal a few moments alone for ourselves, oh and yes I have brushed my teeth a couple times by this point).
At neighbors house: Eat/fall asleep on my gf’s shoulder while she’s leaning on the arm of the couch. Around 10 her parents come and pick her up. I wave to them, they ignore me.
Completely unrelated to the holiday but today’s most alarming event was discovering there is a three legged raccoon living in our garbage can out back.
My father decided he wasn’t going to join us for Thanksgiving today, and he told my Mom that when it was time for them to leave to come over here this afternoon. Then, this evening, he called drunk and demanded to speak to my Mom, and hung up on her when she couldn’t hear him on my sister’s cordless phone.
There was the year my sister and I got into a fight and I pushed her against a wall. (I was fourteen, she was seven, I think-yes, old enough to know better!)
Then there was two years ago when my aunt brought her pinapple stuffing-which I don’t eat-and baked it covered in SARAN WRAP!!!
Let’s see… we drive four minutes to get to cousin’s house. GF and female cuz disappear to plot latest anything against me, cuz’s husband, men in general.
Me and cuz-in-law cooks steaks and jalapenos on grill, while sipping on really good flavored coffee cuz just picked up. Way too early for alc for me.
Other cuzzes and my brother show up within minutes of each other. Niece shows up with cool new guitar she just bought. Play around a bit with diff riffs while gossiping.
Slightly older friend of niece shows up. Really hot babe that GF thinks I once had affair with pre-GF. Coy looks from hote babe neice friend who knows thanks to neice that GF thinks this about me and hot babe neice friend.
Much food eaten, none of it turkey, and surprised Dallas wins.
More guitaring as other various freinds drop by since phone calls reveal we are guitaring.
Hot babe neice friend too young for me but at least is legal surprises me by knowing guitar playing and joins in for fun and song. Dissaproving looks from GF noticed by hot babe neice friend who asks me to show her something in particular.
Sweat on face of me not from hot babe neice friend or maybe trouble with GF but rather from jalapenos eaten too quickly. Could use that beer now.
Neice tells me in kitchen she told hot babe neice friend to cool it, bitch and most of evening just fine.
In car, GF asks if i still find hot babe neice friend still attractive and I say You are the only hot babe for me, beautiful one. Kisses ensue and rest of night is really just fine.
Back when I lived in Rockville there was an annual Thanksgiving day football game that involved between 10-30 firends of me and my older brother. Most games were free of injuries, at least serious ones, but my junior year in high school, after 2 plays from scrimmage, we had a broken ankle, a separated shoulder and a black eye.
It got worse.
I shan’t go into all of the gory and surprisingly bloody details, but the total body/injury count including what I mentioned above was a broken collarbone, a compound fracture of the left arm, a broken right hand and wrist, 3 chipped/missing teeth, a broken nose, 3 concussions and 2 broken legs a fractured kneecap and 6 knees that required arthoscopic surgery to repair torn cartilege/ligaments.
And we weren’t playing dirty, it was just one of those days I guess.
Instead of visiting my loved ones, I’ve been stuck at school.
I found out that a couple of people I klnow were sticking around town. It was extremely warm- shorts weather- and the streets were empty. I felt like we were some of the few surivivors of a nuclear attack or something. Because the busses wern’t running, we all walked to the store, where we proceded to buy $90.00 worth of food.
And we cooked, boy did we cook. Here is our menu:
Mashed potatoes and mushroom gravy
Stuffing
Salad with all the fixings
Green Bean Cassarole
lemon-seasame tofu/chicken
Enchiladas
Sushi
Peach cobble
Smores
It was a helluva lot of food for three people. We had a friend who was stuck at work for three days (he is a desk clerk at a hotel, and the managers of the hotel went out of town for the weekend) so we packed up some food and walked across town to see him. I have a lot of friends working as desk clerks, and I spend an inordinate amount of time partying in the back rooms of hotels. It’s more fun than you’d think it is. We even got all the complimentry breakfast pastries that we could eat. Things looked a little down when we couldn’t figure out how to turn on the industrial dryer so that our friend could get his clothes dry before the maids came to work, but it all worked out. Then I walked home, and got some sleep.
I drove 300 miles to have Thanksgiving with my brother, his wife, and their 9-yr-old daughter (my niece). Usually I enjoy their company, but the niece was being a snotty little brat. I really think that she doesn’t like me. Every time I asked her a question, she put her hands on her hips and said something that let me know I was stupid. This morning she wouldn’t come out of her room until forced to do so, and then she was very nasty tempered at breakfast, refusing to eat because the food was “pukey”.
My brother is self-employed, and his business pretty much disappeared after 9/11. His wife is very angry at him for not bringing in more money (although they have everything they could possibly need), and she belittles him in front of me & her relatives. Her stupid cousin, whose husband is a totally loser, made a nasty remark about my brother in front of me. I’m very angry at myself for not standing up for my brother.
Right now I don’t want to see them again for a long time. I don’t want to go there for my niece’s birthday, and I don’t want to buy her Christmas or birthday presents because she acts like I’m something stinky on her shoe, and I can’t remember the last time she said “thank you” for anything I gave her or showed anyting except disdain at my gift giving.
Update on my story:
When my Mom and my little sister got home last night, they found my father passed out with 12 empty beer cans and an empty bottle of Scotch (I think they said it was Scotch).
I was living in Boston with my then live-in boyfriend of 4 years. We set out the Wednesday before Thanksgiving to come home to Northern New York.
A few weeks before, we had acquired 2 dwarf bunnies that the pet store assured us were the same sex. Never strust a pet store trying to sell bunnies. We ended up with 4 beautiful baby bunnies.
We packed all six rabbits in the Fiesta for the drive home and broke down on the turnpike near the Chipopee exit. We ended up walking on the turnpike in blinding snow with the 6 rabbits packed in a duffel bag.
We made it to a hotel in Chicopee. When we checked in, on the floor, at my feet, in front of the registration desk, was the twitching duffel bag filled with our six bunnies.
We had a great night, ordered room service, including fresh veggies for our “babies”, who hopped all over the room. After our car was fixed we still made it home in time for dinner the next day. Great memories happen when you least expect it, that was one of my best holidays ever.
Honey (Who has broken down on the Mass Pike 6 times.)
This year my parents and I decided to not do the whole thanksgiving-with-relatives-thing. As a result, I’m writing this from a mountain cabin with a T1 internet connection and 600 satellite TV channels. Best thanksgiving ever:)