And any movie that puts rammstein on their soundtrack is ok in my book.
jarbaby
laugh Yes, or to try to stick her nipple into a keyhole.
My brother was the first to point out that you have to position her just like that to get her to use a key.
Tomb Raider is going to suck out loud, due to the statistical principle I have modestly dubbed Goboy’s Law of Movie Tie-Ins/Product Placement:
The entertainment quotient of a movie is inversely proportionate to the number of commercial tie-ins lined up by the film studio.
Tomb Raider, which has been used in any number of ads for other products, is going to be a very bad movie indeed. AI, OTOH, has virtually no product tie-ins and is going to rock.
Hm. You guys are right about MK1. Was distinctly unimpressed by mk2, but mk1 was kinda amusing and did well.
The commercial tie in thing is definitely a good predictor, though (cough Godzilla cough). Probably better than my vid-game license theory, which is only an indicator, it seems.
My prediction: I’ll go to the theater and watch it. That’s all I can say so far.
I’m looking forward to the release of Zero Wing. Think of the millions the studio could save in advertising! Instead of 45-second trailers, countless tie-ins, etc., all they would need would be one 10-second commercial. viz:
JAPANESE GUY IN MILITARY UNIFORM. LOOKS AT CAMERA,
“All your base are belong to us.”
FADE TO BLACK
COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU, MEMORIAL DAY 2002!
Pure genius, I tell you. People would be lining up down the block to get tickets!
I hate to ruin all your fun guys, but anyone who has seen “GIA” knows her tits just aren’t that big. Methinks Miss Croft needed mucho padding.
Also inversly proportionate to the quality of the soundtrack.
$122 Million domestic.
Between Jolie’s unstoppable delishusness, the general cartoonyness of it all, and the built-in Tomb Raider fan base, they’d have to make a pretty horrific movie for it not to do well.
stoid
but Angelina Jolie does nothing for me. I don’t find her attractive at all. Ick. Just my $.02.
I wonder how much makeup it took for them to cover up her Billy Bob tattoo?
I’m looking forward to the movie just for escapism purposes. It couldn’t suck more than Battlefield Earth!
No, it’s all gravity.
I don’t think a raging case of herpes could suck more than Battlefield Earth.
stoid
It probably won’t suck as bad as that, but if movies have taught us anything, it’s that there’s always another circle of Hell into which they can be placed and suck to their heart’s content. Sort of a Suckatory.
Have you actually seen it in the trailers? Her bosom is looking more like the bumper off a '55 Cadillac than anything that could jiggle.
On the contrary, I distinctly remember one scene in the trailer in which she wis running somewhat towards the camera with stuff blowing up in the background. Her breasts start to roll with the majestic grace of two bison circling each other.
Keeping abreast of things:
Game Spy did an interview with Jolie, in which the following was revealed:
Q We want to talk to you about the costume. You have a beautiful body, but there was some enhancement there, right?
A Yeah. I’m a 36C, in the movie she’s a 36D, and in the game she’s a 36DD, so yes, there was some padding.
The buzz so far:
Some guy on Ain’t-it-Cool-News thrashed the film.
My take:
From the previews I’ve seen, it looks like they understand the milieu well enough, and they are making the film fans want. I expect I’ll enjoy the movie even if it’s bad, because I will be expecting generic action film schlock, which has great amusement value. If the movie disappoints me, I expect will mostly be disappointed to the degree that it fails to live up to what fans of the game would expect from a Lara Croft movie.
I think…well, I think it won’t COMPLETELY suck. My only logic behind that argument is that I remember reading about a Tomb Raider movie way back in like 1997, so I know they’ve been working on it a long time. Plus it’s got boobies, fast vehicles, and explosions, so it can’t be that bad.
I’m definitely going to see it on opening day, though, since I’ve known about it (and sort of been waiting for it) for years.
Actually, it’s a little more common than that - but you’re right, it is a sure sign of epic suckiness. Rob Schneider’s Animal was the most recent movie I’ve heard of that didn’t have a critic screening.
Hey, I had that one! I remember figuring out to hold the sword in my left hand because I could type ‘s l’ faster than ‘s r’.
I was really looking forward to this movie - I love the game (and not because of big boobies either, but for the gameplay!) and I loved all I had heard and seen about this movie…
Up until last week when I read the first review. And suddenly it looks like it’s gonna be sucky 
Darn.
I’ll still go see it, though.
‘a l’, actually - attack left, wasn’t it? ‘s l’ was ‘stow left’.
Sorry, didn’t mean to prolong the hijack - I should start a DoD thread. 
Apparently some reviews have leaked out on Ain’t It Cool News. Dunno about their validity, but they have a slight stench of reality to them…
Amusing reads, at least.