Posting styles you hate

Not cultural divide, an inability to recognise that the entire forum isn’t from North America. Everyone else seems to have managed OK, offering links and explanations.

I can’t stand stage directions or other “real” activity people use in posts.

For example:

<whistles softly while kicking dirt>

Asking people if they want a drink, and others responding they do, then “passing” a beer to another poster (rarely, if ever, used on the Dope, but I’ve seen it plenty of times on boards).

It’s not cute, and it’s not funny. You’re sitting at a computer, not a bar and not outside where you can kick dirt, or any other physical activity along those lines.

I’m also sick and tired of the fake spittakes: “You owe me a new keyboard,” presumably because what you typed was so hilarious I spat out my coffee and ruined my keyboard, on which I was able to type the fact you ruined it.

Zombie-raisers. Although most of them are newbies and so get a bit of a pass. But it’s still annoying.

Whiny-assed cry-babies who get upset when the rest of the world doesn’t conform to their narrow-minded, provincial view of how things should be written on a public, world-wide message board.

Worse – the whole “braaaaiiinnnns!” crap that always follows. Ugh, we get it already! It’s been done. It’s not clever, it’s not cute, it’s just annoying and over done.

Eh, it’s useful as a signifier that a chunk of the thread is old. The dates aren’t always immediately obvious.

Agreed. With Google search, lots of new posters are resurrecting threads from a decade ago. Any kind of clue helps.

Its just a message board people, chill out.

No actually, that is one of my pet peeves.

Yeah, but it usually continues way beyond the first one or two useful indicators.

You can’t win on this one. If you raise a zombie, you get 30 replies of “braaaaaains”. If you start a new thread on the subject (ya know, since there may be some new imformation or new members to discuss the issue with), you get 30 replies of “there’s already a thread on this”.

And while it’s already been mentioned in regard to tattoos, someone on here is going to shit in the cat threads. If it says “cat/kitten” in the title and you don’t like cats, why waste your time clicking on and responding to it? Do you really think your opinion of cats is going to make me get rid of mine?

This is my pet peeve. Start a thread and someone will jump in within a few posts with a post along the lines of previous thread on the subject or the snarky “Didn’t we do this already?”

The previous thread is usually at least a year old, so a newer member would have no idea it existed and older members aren’t going to remember every thread that’s ever been made.

I do wish they’d go back to the old policy of locking zombie threads and inviting the poster to start a new thread if they’re interested.

I don’t mind getting a pointer to a recent thread on the subject. Most of the time that I see this it’s just a helpful, “Hey, in case you want more information, we talked about this over here too,” which I don’t have a problem with. You do occasionally see, “Ummmmm, we already did this thread,” which yeah, if the older thread is more than a few months old or so, who cares? We can talk about the same topic more than once.

[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:125, topic:601999”]

On the other hand, I just don’t see all the hate for signoffs. Who cares, as long as they’re short and sweet?
[/QUOTE]

Well, they go against the categorical imperative, don’t they? If everybody did it, the board would be completely unreadable.

I actually hate something that I’m guilty of myself: The fact that I habitually don’t proofread properly, and then have to go back and edit, leaving an edit note at the end of practically every damned post. I’m trying to improve, I swear.

As of this afternoon, not anymore baby!

I know it’s cliched, I know it’s dumb, but those crack me up every single time.

It really really irritates me when a poster will chime in with something that could be instantly Googlable. From a recent thread there was “Who’s Aaron Paul”? Followed by a link of his picture, followed by “That doesn’t really help me.” Can you really not look him up and find out who he is?

Of course, there’s one poster that’s elevated it to an art form, creating OPs in GQ that would have easily taken him less time to look up than it did to create the OP. The latest? Why Mt. Rushmore? :smack:

…and I just noticed there’s a current Pit thread devoted entirely to that guy.

Mods, please close that thread.

This really made me happy, if that’s worth anything.

Excellent! You’re not the first to voice annoyance with this, but your ire cracks me so thoroughly up. “Fuck off with that shit.” Ha!

I can barely even tolerate the existence of people who can’t just answer a question without inserting details of their personal lives or why the question is inconsistent with reality.

“Let’s say you were on Mars…”
“Well first of all, I’m no astronaut, and moreover NASA ended manned space travel…”
Hey, uhh, fuck you. It’s a hypothetical question, you worthless shit.

“Would you date a girl who…”
“Well I’d have to ask my wife first. But prior to 1997, when I got married…”
Cut the shit already. Just answer the flippin’ question as if you were on the market for dating. If you’re incapable of doing that, please go away. Thanks.

“How cold is too cold to go swimming outdoors?”
“Well where I live there are no natural bodies or water or swimming pools so…”
I don’t care about what barren shithole you live in with no water. Just answer the question! If you don’t know, because somehow you’ve managed to never have gone swimming outside in your entire life, shut up. Please!

“If you found a million dollars on the street…”
“This would never happen. I live in a small community where there are no roads, plus I must ask, how would a million dollars just be lying around? Was it in a beige sack with a dollar sign on it, or…”
Oh, for the love of Swiss cheese. Can you just answer the question for fuck’s sake? Nobody cares that you live amid unpaved roads, and I’m sure the person who asked the question already knows finding a million dollars on the street is never going to happen.

I’m not saying omit all details of your personal life unless specifically asked, but they’re so often irrelevant and do nothing to answer the question that they’re irritatingly worthless. If there were a poll that asked “Women, would you date a man shorter than you?” for example, and someone said “I’m 6’1” so yes" I’d be okay with that. The personal information is useful in that case, but if you go, “Well I’ve never been on a date because my parents were over-protective and I have extreme anxiety, so I had an arranged marriage set up, and my cat, Agnes…”

Oh Jesus, enough with your cat, Agnes. Why are you even answering the question?

So actually, it would be better to say I’m annoyed by two things: Not being able to answer a hypothetical question, and shoehorning boring, irrelevant details about your shitty life into everything. Bonus rage when it’s both at the same time.

MeanOldLady, I apologize. I just recently did this in the thread about whether or not women ask men out on dates. I saw that most other posters were including the fact if they were married, so I followed suit.

Please don’t hate me for my lemming-like behavior this time. I promise not to re-offend.

I hate you so much. :mad:

Seriously now, I don’t expect anyone to amend their posting styles because I’m an irritable old crab, but if someone did, that would sort of be awesome.

I promise I shall never mention my cat, Arthur, in a hypothetical dating thread.