See, this is where she’s making a mistake.
Pregnant in January means birth in October.
Preggers through the hot summer months.
Then her child’s birthday will be too late for the school year, come 2015, and will be a year behind your child.
Then she’ll have to deal with a snotty 18 year old for most of the kid’s senior year of high school. You know, have to keep the kid in school, but kid thinks s/he’s an adult now.
Did they find the restrooms full of little dolls of her with pins stuck in them?
My friend did that at her wedding and I thought that was amazingly thoughtful. It’s a girl thing when you’re wearing a long dress and trip over it after a few glasses of champagne… 
Saying that though, your friend’s wife sounds like an unpleasant fruitcake. I have to say as well that the more you mention about the husband the less sympathy I have for him too. He clearly knows she’s like this and not only doesn’t stand up to her, but actively defends her. I agree with those who have said to sit him down and tell him why you’re ending the friendship. I wouldn’t normally be as blunt as this but think it needs to be said in this case.
Just tell the truth. He’ll appreciate your honesty.
Tell the guy that you’d like to keep inviting him to your social events, but unfortunately you all find his wife unpleasant to be around and overly controlling, and therefor you won’t be inviting them anymore.
Frankly, he chose to marry this woman, so I’m not going to lay all the blame on her. If he puts up with her behaviour, then he’s part of the problem.
Ha! Having a baby will completely fuck her up, there’s no controlling a baby and it only gets worse through the first few years of childhood. She’ll either go insane with post-natal depression or get her shit together somewhat. Or maybe she’ll make up for it by being even MORE controlling with other people :(.
We decided to take the advice from this thread of inviting HIM to a Boy’s Night Out… not to a strip club or bar, but to a tame restaurant for dinner on a Sunday evening. Just 3 boys and dinner. Either the whipped husband will refuse, and the problem is solved, or he will stand up to his wife and he will join us for mild festivities of a boys night out … or so we thought.
At first, he said he could not go. A few hours later, he said he could make it. We were shocked that his wife “allowed” him to go anywhere without her.
So, I pull up to the restaurant and … lo and behold … he is there … outside … at Boy’s Night Out … WITH HIS FREAKING WIFE! :mad:
She is seated outside at the Starbucks next door. He is going to go into the restaurant with us boys while she sits outside allegedly doing some homework for her Masters program.
So, we are in the restaurant eating dinner and having some guy talk. Then, EXACTLY ONE HOUR later… and I mean EXACTLY, she comes walking into the restaurant, takes a seat with the boys, and injects herself in the conversation. I guess Boy’s Night Out to her meant her husband was allowed to go into a restaurant and hang out for ONE HOUR while she SAT OUTSIDE with her friggin’ alarm clock. :smack:
We talked for a little while longer, then we wrapped it up and left.
On the way out, they tried to “connect” with me conversationally since things have been very quiet between all of us since the cabin trip. When we were almost parted, they invited me to their house for the evening. I politely refused.
They left saying in a chipper voice, “Hey, don’t be a stranger.” I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there.
After we all left the restaurant, I went and picked up my wife. We met our friends, the other couple, at a different restaurant for dessert where we ripped on this other woman mercilessly.
I really feel sorry for the guy, but I think that was our one last good faith effort to be friends with them.
:eek::eek::eek:
She totally has the Crazy, and he probably does too if he puts up with that freak. I guess one good thing came of it – now you are sure you need to cut them loose.
Wow.
That seems a bit of a stretch to me. If she’d responded to his refusal to get off the footstool by loudly declaring that he didn’t love her, ripped the glass vase off the table and shattered it against the wall, then ran outside and spent the night moping in the woods and contemplating suicide, I could see borderline personality disorder.
My diagnosis is spoiled, narrow, bitch.
Personally no matter what a great guy the husband seems like, I think it reflects on him at least a bit the person he has chosen to live his life with. Try to remember that when you can no longer hang out with him, it’s because of a choice he made.
In all fairness, he did say he could “squeeze us in” for only a couple hours because they had to visit a relative in the hospital after dinner. That may explain why his wife showed up under limited time circumstances. However, when we were leaving, he asked his wife what they were doing and whether they were going to the hospital, but she just shrugged her shoulders and he said, “OK, I guess not.” So, I question whether there really was any hospital plan or time restriction in the first place. They could have intended to go but then changed their minds… I mean HER mind.
So, part of me thinks we give him the benefit of the doubt and should try again.
The other part of me says, “Screw it.”
Chip together and hire an assassin?
Try inviting a few singles into the group so if she’s not there it’s not couples and him. And maybe she’ll find herself a new ‘one best friend’. Or he’ll find someone to have an affair with.
Seems like the situation my SO’s sister and boyfriend will probably one day escalate to, he’s not allowed to have friends either.
Haven’t you got a guy friend that’s ‘the dick’ of the group? You know, the one that just speaks his mind if someone’s pissing him off, so some people think he’s a dick, probably goes to far with jokes, sense of humour is a bit inappropriate? There’s one in every group. Get him to bully her 'til she doesn’t want to go anymore. Or kills herself.
You know what needs to be done. Get rid. If it can’t just be her you ditch then you’ll have to make the sacrifice and ditch him.
You know, when my psycho ex and I separated and headed into divorce, I railed at the world for all the damage being done to me.
Which in retrospect, was like railing at the surgeon for the damage he’s doing you by extracting a brain tumor.
This guy’s life is Hell. Hopefully someday he’ll figure that out and leave her, or she’ll leave him and it’ll take him a while to figure out that she did him a favor.
Go with this part. This is the smart part. Think of it this way–any and everytime you try to get together with this guy, you will have some variation of the drama you have encountered already.
The question you have to ask yourself: “Is he worth it? Is he such a good friend that you are willing to put up with the crazy?”
For "me’ it would be drop him. I have good friends, but I can’t think of one of them that I could put up with the crazy for that friendship. I have limited social time as it is, to spend it with that drama,or even the potential of that type of drama would never be worth it to me. That is the question I think you need to decide for yourself. You have other friends that aren’t crazy–stick with them, in the long run you will be happier in my opinion.
Good luck.
The problem we had was that we like this guy and he’s a good and likable fellow. Unfortunately, he wants friends, but his wife is limiting his ability to have them. So, we decided, for his sake, to try.
With this latest episode, we are starting to feel less sympathy for him, realizing that he is **allowing **his wife to screw up his life, and we have our own lives to lead without trying to rescue him from his own marriage. In legal terms, I suppose it would be considered ratification on his part.
If you’ve already accepted the inevitability of losing him as a friend, it seems you’ve got nothing to lose by telling him exactly what you’re telling the rest of us in this thread. Tell him that you just can’t hang out with him because his wife is a controlling, clingy, crazy bitch.
If you were trying to preserve the friendship, I’d say that’s a bad approach. But if you’re down to no other options before the friendship dies anyway, that may be like the Hail Mary pass.
Precisely my line of thought on this matter. I understand just shrugging shoulders and letting it go; it may not seem worth the energy, drama, or fallout to say anything and be suddenly busy everytime Miss Narcissus and the Weenie attempt to schedule a social gathering. Then again, saying something (think he already has a clue? I just can’t imagine he’s that blind to it, but then again, some people choose to be when it comes to these things) might be a catalyst for him growing a pair and breaking free of her at least on occasion.
Hail Mary pass, indeed. I say give it a try, then immediately report back to us.
No, I don’t think this is true. I think what you and your friends enjoy is stirring up shit, inviting this guy out and hoping his wife will engage in wacky antics, and then you and the other couple proceeding to spend the better part of a week sniping behind these people’s backs (as well as posting about it on the internet). So while you protest, “Gee whiz, that was the last straw … awww, but on the other hand, let’s give him one more chance,” your true intentions are kind of obvious. Especially given the palpable relish with which you and some others await in the ultimate climax of this sorry little saga: where you give him a piece of your mind. A piece, I hasten to add, that he has no interest in having shared with him.
He and his wife aren’t going to change for you. That’s why he married her while he only grabs a bite to eat with you and your friends. You must by know realize that they are a package deal. If you want to be friends him, terrific, but you know the terms of the arrangement. If that’s unacceptable to you, you don’t have any other options. But your asinine little spectacle of “let’s see how far she’ll go” is nothing more than a transparent attempt to make sport at the expense of these two.
No, we were hoping we could have a nice evening with the guy and that we could do so without the intrusion of his wife’s antics. That’s exactly what we expected when we invited him, and not her, to a BOYS Night Out.
Your argument assumes we expected his wife to show up and engage in her usual antics. How were we to know his wife would be there? We had no idea she would be there until we actually arrived and saw her there.
Also, when did we spend the “better part of a week” talking about them? Maybe an hour over dessert?
I think there are good points about just telling him what’s up and what we think, but I don’t think there is much to gain by doing so. I think the better idea is to simply accept them as acquaintances and perhaps just see them on rare occasion or maybe make a rare off-hand communication with them on Facebook.
If we tell him what we think of his wife, I am certain she will know about it, be pissed off about it, and they will forever be completely gone. The bridge will be completely burned. If we simply “let them go” then maybe someday things could change, and we are not totally written out of each other’s lives forever with hard feelings.
Now, if we really enjoyed stirring up shit just for shit’s sake, then we might make a new Boys Night Out plan just to find out what happens. However, I don’t see that happening.
As has been mentioned upthread, we believe life is too short for the drama she brings, and, although we gave it one last try to do stuff without her drama involved, that effort failed. So I think the whole thing is just finished, and we simply take both of them off the invite list for stuff.
When we invited him to Boys Night Out, we expected one of two results:
He refuses the invitation because they are a “package deal” only; or
He accepts the invite and he goes out without his wife.
At no time did we expect his wife to show up, resulting in drama. The whole idea was to be friends without the drama.
I wonder if Kimmy_Gibbler is exactly like this with her husband.
Used to be that men would be like this with their wives and it was socially acceptable. Now of course, we recognize it as the controlling, abusive behavior that it is and it rightfully has a stigma attached. Unfortunately, that recognition and stigma has not been duly transfered to the opposite sex arrangement.
Ah, the virago accusation. Right on time.
I am a gay man, you might like to know.