Potty Training Veterans.

No, I don’t care if you are potty-trained or not. I want advice from those those who have successfully guided another person (preferably under four years old)into the wonderful world of big-kid underwear. We are about to let my almost three-year-old daughter start wearing underwear instead of diapers in the daytime, and I would appreciate any advice, encouragement, and techniques for cleaning carpets. Thank you.

Well, I don’t know if my advice would count for anything or not as my son is not yet potty trained. He is nearly two and we haven’t started yet except for putting him on the toilet in the am and pm.

The best advice I received came from my Aunt who had 6 kids( all housebroken) and told me to wait until the summer. Less clothing to be hassled with.

Good luck!

Don’t they have those “pull-up” things you can use? I don’t personally have any kids, but maybe those could help. If you can get her to treat them like real underpants, maybe she’ll try to wait for the toilet. If she doesn’t make it, then…oh, well. Go get another pair. I remember when my cousin was being potty trained. He was so excited about his “big boy pants.” He treated them just like real underwear. When he had an accident, it was no big deal.

Whew! For a minute there I thought you were from the VA!

Mrs. Pluto shouldered the burden in this, as in so many other things, but the part I remember was making a big deal about “big boy pants” and lots of praise when things went well.

The advice I’ve heard most often is not to be too eager. They reach a point where they 1) have enough control to succeed if they want to, and 2) recognize the discomfort of soggy diapers vs. dry undies. Certainly this is true if they come to you immediately after urinating wanting to be changed.

But kids are idiosyncratic. With our kids some were easy and some were not, some were sooner and some later and there wasn’t a strong correlation between soon-ness and easiness.

Finally, don’t even try until they have good control of their bowels. Wet undies are unpleasant – cruddy undies are unbearable. If you should run into this problem, the best thing to do, in my experience, is call Mrs. Pluto.

“Cheddar?”
“We don’t get much call for that around here, Sir.”

Two words: pull ups (diapers that have elastic on the sides and can be pulled up and down like regular underware). I think our daughter was around three when we started using these. She was really eager to start using the toilet like a grown-up, but didn’t quite have the control to be counted upon to make it to the bathroom everytime. These were perfect. If she was good and made it to the toilet each time, one pull-up would last all day. If not, she got changed and we talked to her about why she couldn’t make it. She was a little embarrassed about not being able to make it (she felt embarrassed because some of her friends could make it, not because we ever made her feel bad about it), and gradually she became more aware of when she had to go and where she was going to do it. She wore them during the day for about four months. She wore them at night for about eight months. She’s only had a few accidents at night since then. She’s also very proud about what she was able to do. It really made her feel good about herself.

Just don’t push them, or get angry when they have an accident. It’s gonna’ happen, I guarantee. Just give them lots and lots of support. And stock up on some carpet cleaner, too. You will need it.

I am in the process of potty training my 2 1/2 year old daughter. She wears pull ups during the day and a regular diaper at night. She’ll go on the potty all day long at the daycare but only occasionally at home. I think it’s because the other kids at daycare are going potty is the reason she does it. I just ask her about once an hour if she has to potty and she goes and sits on it and sometimes actually goes! I’m hoping she’s potty trained completely before her 3rd birthday… we’ll see.


That John Denver’s full of shit man!

Once you start, don’t go back to diapers or pull ups-NO MATTER WHAT. It really confuses the kids. Be sure you get lots of those thick, potty-training underwear. They absorb a lot, and they make the child feel wet so they realize what they’ve done.
Don’t switch back and forth between underwear and pull-ups because the kids will hold their “doody” until they get the pull up on.

My son is completely potty trained, but we still have a little problem with him making it through the night. Often he would wake up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but he wet the bed about 3 or 4 nights a week, so I decided to put him in pullups for night-time. After he finally agreed to wear the pull-ups, he would lie in bed, calling me, asking if he had a pullup on or if he had to go to the bathroom to go potty. He knew exactly what he was doing, so I just went back to the underwear because how else will he learn if he doesn’t think he has to try?

Good luck!

Everybody’s advice is right on target, especially the part about the ‘big boy/girl pants’. I also liked the idea about waiting till it gets warmer with less clothes to have to get down quickly. The pull ups weren’t around when I potty trained both of my sons, and they are a bit different anyway.

Be patient, and really reinforce the idea that it is your DAUGHTER’s decision to stay dry, that way, YOU aren’t the one being ‘disappointed’ with accidents. ‘honey, I’m not mad at you, it feels bad for YOU, now you can just try again, you’ll get it!’ And, of course she will!


“It’s hard to avoid reading because ever wheres we go, reading is there.”

:Thread coup here:

Cher sorry I didn’t want to post again in my own thread so I thought I would use yours. I just wanted to thank you for the kind empathetic things you said in the Tattoo post. You must truly be a great parent and an understanding mom.
Thanks again,

I now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Yours truly,
aha

My daughter just turned three a couple of weeks ago. She’s been in pull-ups for a while now. She’s been rather slow to potty train, actually. Honestly, she’s just too darn busy learning other stuff to bother.

She’s getting quite good at going potty now, though. We’d been trying for a while, and she used the potty sometimes, but not often. What made her all of a sudden get interested in the potty was the birth of her baby brother, 5 months ago. It was as if she just all of a sudden realized that “hey, babies go peepee & poopoo in those diaper things. I’m the big sister, not a baby.” She got some big-girl panties for her birthday, and she’s only had two accidents while she’s been wearing them.

Being a very typical three-year-old, she likes nothing better in the world than to be naked (of course, most adults are like that too…) Letting her run around naked as much as possible made it much easier for her to use the potty. But we’ve got hardwood floors, so the one or two accidents she’s had on the floor have been easy to clean.

Best of luck to you, and let me know how it goes…sounds like you and I are at right about the same stage in the adventure that is potty training!


This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here.

I trained my daughter at just over 2 years old. She absolutely refused to go anywhere near the bathroom until I did it. I was told the secret by a friend. What you do is pick a day when you’re home all day with the kid. And let the kid spend ALL DAY naked. The child has no diapers and will realize it instantly when they feel the urge to go. In Meghan’s case, she cried for a minute and asked for diapers but I told her she was a big girl now and had to use the potty. That was it. She walked in there and we did it. The child won’t want to pee (or worse) on their legs, and will do just about anything to avoid the results of that happening. I’m surprised nobody’s brought this method up yet. Took us a day and a half before she was completely and irreversibly trained. And just so’s you know, I am a stay-at-home, telecommuting dad, and damn proud of it!

I trained my daughter at just over 2 years old. She absolutely refused to go anywhere near the bathroom until I did it. I was told the secret by a friend. What you do is pick a day when you’re home all day with the kid. And let the kid spend ALL DAY naked. The child has no diapers and will realize it instantly when they feel the urge to go. In Meghan’s case, she cried for a minute and asked for diapers but I told her she was a big girl now and had to use the potty. That was it. She walked in there and we did it. The child won’t want to pee (or worse) on their legs, and will do just about anything to avoid the results of that happening. I’m surprised nobody’s brought this method up yet. Took us a day and a half before she was completely and irreversibly trained. And just so’s you know, I am a stay-at-home, telecommuting dad, and damn proud of it!

Aargh! Sorry for that d-p. I didn’t get any reply saying that my first message had been posted.

Nothing to add to this thread. Just thanks for the advice. We’re still about a year or so away.


I am large,
I contradict myself,
I contain multitudes.
~Walt Whitman

Well, you’re posting to the right guy. My almost-4-year-old son has finally gotten his act together.

What we did was we set a milestone (in our case, New Year’s day). We built up anticipation to it, saying okay, only 2 more days, and we throw away the diaper…etc.

We got him a cushioned potty seat, which we put on top of the regular toilet.

At first he was reluctant and held it in all day (that kid’s got great bladder control!), waiting until we put a Pull-Up on him at night to let go. Eventually, he figured it was too much bother and we encouraged him with candy to go on the toilet, so he started peeing on the toilet. Number 2 took a while more for him to be willing to do, but he’s finally coming around.

You’re lucky it’s a girl. For the first few months we actually had to hold his penis down ourselves (now he’s doing it on his own).

So, what does my long-winded anecdote say for you? a) Set a time and build anticipation. b) Reward, reward, reward…with small things, of course; you don’t want to go bankrupt. c) If she doesn’t want to do it, make sure what she’s sitting on is comfortable. I could be that simple. d) It happens in stages, not all at once. Expect her to demand a diaper to poop in even for a while after she readily pees in the toilet. But don’t give in to a diaper; that’s a step backward. Give her a Pull-Up, even though they are more expensive to waste; it’ll help re-enforce that her “diaper days” are behind her. e) Unless she walks around naked, your carpet’s probably not in too much trouble. Underpants and pants will absorb most or all of it when she has an accident (if she’s wearing a skirt, though, it could be trouble, I don’t know…I have yet to toilet-train a girl). f) Baking soda for the smell if it gets on the carpet.

Best of luck! I’m sure all will come out well in the end! :smiley:


Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@kozmo.com

“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

Thanks for all the advice, guys. She’s actually been using the potty to pee in for a while, although only at our suggestion–she never brings it up herself. However, she’s never pooped on the potty and I think she is a bit unsure about that. We’ll try either the pullups or training pants. It’s a bit scary giving up the diapers, but it’s time to move on.

Both of my boys were 2 1/2. Gotta agree with everyone’s comments. DO NOT go back to diapers. It will confuse your child. I also did not use the pull-ups because well, when David was of age, I don’t remember seeing them around, and when Kyle was, I liked the idea of those thick training pants, they feel more like real underwear, where the pull-ups are basically diapers. My kids were trained in one day, no mistakes. This required me being home with them having my full attention all day. I gave lots and lots and lots of juices and water and any liquid they would drink, so they had to go more frequently, then I directed them on where to go, when they did they got a reward such as a cookie, and some explanation on ‘this is how you are going to do this from now on’, blah blah. The 3 days following, I will admit were scary, I feared going anywhere, I worried about the car seat being doused, but nothing. They had learned. The most important thing is watch your child, if they express interest or curiosity in the potty or the toilet, they are probably ready. There is no need to push or hurry it. You know they are not going to be wearing a diaper in kindergarten, so don’t sweat it.


How 'bout we sing ‘Kyle’s mom is a stupid bitch’ in D minor?

My SIL was trying to get my 2-1/2YO neice potty-trained a couple summers ago, hoping to get it done by the time the new baby arrived so she wouldn’t have to change two sets at the same time.

My neice was taking 2 steps forward and 1 back in her training, usually having a problem because she got busy having fun and then cut it to close to get to the bathroom in time.

Since she had spent the night with my wife and myself on numerous occasions and another 3-day weekend was planned in the near future, she was told that she wouldn’t get to stay with Aunt C and Uncle D unless she could make it to the bathroom each time.

By the end of that week she had no more accidents, and we had no accidents the weekend she spent with us.

Maybe if there is something the child really, really wants, then this approach may work.

BTW, she would have spent the weekend with us regardless, but I was thankful my SIL told her that and got her trained.

Pullups will have your kid wearing pull ups right to kindergarten. You can see why most of the world does not have wall to wall carpets. Have lots of potties, one for every floor. And…every kid is different.

I’ve heard yays and nays for pullups. Given that my daughter couldn’t care less when her diaper is dirty, most of the time, but hates the feeling of being dirty without a diaper, I think we’re going to go with old-fashioned training pants. I think she’s also attracted to the idea of “big girl underwear,” so the cloth ones will be more interesting to her.