Practical Jokes

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m sure that with all the members we’ve got on this board you can come up with some killer practical jokes. Why not share them? I’ll start with a couple of mine.

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The first one was played by me and a friend on some prick called Simon who was being a total arsehole to both me and my friend. We decided to get our own back and strike right at the heart of the enemy. Now Simon had this real rinky-dink tin shit heap of a car which must have cost all of twenty quid to make and distribute. I mean it was an embarrassment, it was dented, scratched, made a peculiar whining sound when ascending gears and, most importantly, it’s rear windscreen was missing.
Anyway, this mobile coke can was Simon’s pride and joy so we decided to make that our target. We bought ten cans of shaving foam and put it in a freezer for about two days. We then waited until it was dark and then put the ten cans into two big rucksacks and loaded them up with crushed ice to keep the temperature down. We then made our way to Simon’s house and approached his car. We took out the cans of shaving foam and, with the aid of some heavy duty pliers, stripped the outer metal from the cans. Once we had done this with every can we had ten, can shaped, lumps of frozen shaving foam. We then dumped them in Simons car through the rear windscreen hole.
Now what happened was when those small, innocent looking chunks of shaving foam warmed up, they expanded and flooded the car with foam. By all accounts it took him three days to clean it all out and he still hasn’t gotten rid of the smell. The worst part is that both me and my friend are friends with Simon now and he still doesn’t know we did it.

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The secondone was a little more mundane but just as funny because it was titally spontaneous. Anyway what happened was me and a few friends were standing around, huddled, just talking about stuff when I spotted some guy who worked at a local amusement park, skiving off work and smoking a cigarette. Now, he was standing right by a public phonebox and we were standing on an overpass so we were able to see him but he couldn’t see us. Anyway my friend Chris had the number for that telephone programmed in to the memory of his mobile phone (We sometimes enjoyed playing prank calls on people by phoning up the phone boxes and just screwing around with whoever answered)So we phoned it up and the guy went inside to answer it and I shouted:

HEY!!! GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY SONOFABITCH.

I swear he turned and ran back towards that fun park so fast he left a sonic boom in his wake!!

Anyway, enough from me, what are your best pranks?

2

I love any opportunity to tell this story, originally posted in another thread

John Mahoney was an airman in my squadron and we called him ‘The Boy in the Bubble.’ He wasn’t really stupid, but suffered from an absolute lack of common sense. In my squdron, we pulled a prank on every newbie fresh from tech school, and it was my turn to prank John. I got an old prescription bottle from when my wisdom teeth were pulled (all 4 at once! goddamn military dentists!) and filled it with yellow Skittles. The next day at work, when John saw me pop a pill, I explained it was to treat my narcolepsy. Later in the day, I would ‘fall asleep’ at various times mid-sentence. Everyone in my flight knew what I was doing so no one acted surprised when I would slump forward on the computer or start snoring when my supervisor was talking to me.

I couldn’t believe he bought it. After a while, it stopped being a prank and I kept it up cuz we wanted to see how long before he figured it out.

Two months later, John and I are the only two in the office, everyone else is at lunch. By this time, most of the squadron knows what I’m up to. I’m pretending to be asleep so I don’t have to converse with Mahoney. The CO walks in and Mahoney, being such an amazing compilation of misfiring synapses, doesn’t call attention like you’re supposed to whenever an officer enters the room. I’m pretending to be asleep when I hear the captain’s voice behind me, “Airman Mahoney, why is Airman Jones asleep?”

At this point I don’t know if I should ‘wake up’ and explain or try to keep the joke going, when Mahoney says, “Captain, don’t you know? He’s narcoleptic.” Mahoney then goes on to expalin that as long as I take my medication I’m usually all right. The captain cuts through the bullshit, tells me to sit up and wants to see my medication. I give him the bottle, the captain opens it, smiles, and starts to eat my Skittles. He asks how long has this been going on. When I say 2 months, the captain smiles even bigger and quickly leaves the room, saying only, “As you were then.” and returns my bottle of Skittles.

Mahoney was pissed at me for about 3 weeks after that. At least he didn’t try to talk to me to much.

3

Get a few cans of the super-expanding construction foam (used as crack filler/insulation) and fill a car (or dorm room) with it.

A good revenge-type one:
One time my friend and his brother made a guy mad. The guy shot friend’s bro’s truck with a shotgun. They followed the guy to the bar (conveniently located next to a construction site), and while he was inside drinking, my friend hotwired a bulldozer and crushed the guy’s truck.

4

When my brother was a freshman in college, he shared a dorm area with 5 others. By the end of the year, they were all pretty sick of each other. Someone kept stealing by brother’s juice and using his shampoo. He asked whoever it was to stop. They didn’t. He did what any sane college freshman would do. He pissed in both and laughed as they continued to be used.

A friend and I, in my younger days, once coated the car of a person we didn’t like with vaseline. We then wrapped the entire car in toilet paper.

5

I’m not big in the practical joke department, but every once in a while I come up with one. In my senior year of high school (a long time ago) a friend of mine was constantly ragged on the entire year by one of the assistant principles. She wanted a way to get back at him without, of course, getting suspended. After a few days of thinking my friends and I went into action.

The school had an open-air commons that was completely surrounded by the school itself. The assistant principle had an orange VW that was his pride and joy. He used to spend his lunch hours wiping every bit of dirt, real or imaginary, off of it.

Well, one Friday he left the car in the Auto Shop section of school, as they were going to do a tune-up on it come Monday. My friend and I went by his dad’s construction yard, “borrowed” a crane, went back to school and lifted the VW over the roof and set it right down in the middle of the commons.

Come Monday morning I happened to be hanging around when he walked around the corner and saw the car in the commons… it was everything I could do to keep from laughing out loud and he hopped around screaming and yelling.

The best thing about the joke? The kids from the Auto shop had to take the car apart down to the frame to get it out of the doors and reassemble it. I still laugh over that one!

6

This is how my ladyfriend got back at some one. Remove lugnuts from all four wheels, place in padded mailer, interoffice mail back to owner of car. In the mean time of course, car owner leaves work. The parking lot was large enough that the wheels fell off before he got into traffic. Second way if your meaner and have more time. Remove hubcaps, fill area over lugnuts with quick setting concrete mix, reinstall hubcaps, rip off tire valve stems.

7

I haven’t actually done this one but I heard it from some of my college friends.

Since most college dorm doors open in there is a 3 inch gap between the door and the hallway. It’s basically the door jam. Anyway, you take several sheets of newspaper and tape them to each side of the door frame except for a gap at the top. You then make a hell-of-a-lot of popcorn and fill this gap. When the occupant of the room opens the door this wall of popcorn falls into the room and covers the floor.

8

When I was in a mobile unit in Korea we used to play jokes on each other all the time. To pay back one guy we put a squid in the glove box of his 2 1/2 ton truck on a Friday afternoon. Did I mention it was July and very hot. When he opened the door to his truck Monday, I thought I would throw up from about 100 yds away. Took him about a month to get the smell out.