Prayers and good wishes headed your way, Zabali.
{{Zabali}}
My thoughts are with you and your mother, Zabali.
Good luck to her, Zabali.
I was going to post this last night, but for some reason I wasn’t inputting my password correctly. I was too tired to wait the 15 minutes to be able to input my new password, so went to bed.
First of all, I was in shock and on autopilot when I posted on the 8th. She was released from Wichita Via Christie on the 7th. It was Great Bend we ended up in, thank goodness I insisted people bring changes of clothes, and toothbrushes! I’m using Dad’s computer to send this, and after this the first try at a full night’s sleep since Thursday.
The 8th, the aneurism on the right side (behind her right eye) burst. She had a massive stroke. When I got there she was still able to acknowledge us, and I know she could hear us. I looked at the MRI image of her head, and I knew. There was no recovery at all from that. I was there to hold vigil. She entered twilight on the 9th and slowly turned her face towards dawn. She did try to open her eyes when her grandchildren came and talked to her. When we had to take her rings off her fingers, she bent her fingers and resisted until I said “It’s ok mom, your fingers are swelling, and we need to take your rings off.” Then she stopped trying to stop us.
All the siblings (five total, 2 in state) came in from the various corners of the country they live in, and Mom was very happy to “see” her 3rd grandchild. This morning, Dad asked the doctor to check her over, in preparation for removing life support. (I know she was “with us” right up until the end when she went free. She heard us, and worried and tried to console us. She wanted to be sure we were all right.) Then at about 10 A.M. we filed out of the room while they unplugged her, and cleaned her up. We said goodbye, and for the rest of today have been firming up her funeral plans. (She’d already talked to her minister and named the songs, scriptures and such that she wanted for her service, we just needed to fill in some blanks.) We helped write her eulogy, and picked a coffin, vault and program cover.
Dad’s lost, and very bereaved. They were best friends, married for 53 years. I finally got a shower and change of clothes as of about an hour ago. I’d been wearing Thursday’s clothes, and grabbing catnaps in the hospital waiting room. I’ve eaten, and had some herbal tea. I’m…numb right now. Cried and cried and cried since getting here, cried some today too. I’m on autopilot, “help out” mode right now though. The 3rd grandson was there as we said goodbye. (The other’s parents were not ok with their children being there at that time, but they did get to say goodbye.) He’s trying so hard to be strong, and “adult”. He is crying, lost and broken. He doesn’t realize that the adults all feel lost, lonely, confused and somewhat angry because it just seems so unfair right now. I’ve been doing what I can to help my nephew, I hope I’m helping.
Zabali_Clawbane - My most sincere condolences to you and your whole family. I’m truly sorry.
StG
I’m so sorry.
Zabali_Clawbane, I’m so sorry for your troubles.
I’m so sorry. Condolences and strength to you and your family.
I’m sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you and your family.
So sorry to hear the news, Zabali. Good thoughts and prayers for your whole family.
GT
Thank you all, we had to run back home to get funerary clothes. I didn’t know at the time we left for the hospital that her aneurism had blown. I thought maybe a blood clot had formed then broke loose. We are mostly packed, have rested and had some dinner and will be heading out for the six hour drive back to my parent’s home. The family visitation is tomorrow.
It’s strange, how life goes sometimes. She was laughing and having a ball, then boom. I’d like to go out how she did though, so many don’t. I don’t think I will forget seeing the two green lines, the pale blue line, and the white line that defined my mother’s fading life, and how they changed as the time passed. Please keep my father in your prayers, and the grandsons. I think the two age spectrums are struggling with this the most. My childhood friend could use tome thoughts too, mom was her second mother. She was there at the last, and got to say goodbye. I could feel mom was glad she got to come.
Gotta go…
Said prayers for you Mom, with more to come.
So sorry for your loss; your family is in my thoughts and prayers, Zabali_Clawbane.
I’m so very sorry, Zabali_Clawbane. My condolenses to you and your family.
My condolences to you and your loved ones, Zabali_Clawbane.
Take care of yourself too. That “helping” phase, the feeling of unreality will wear off, and you’ll be hit with your loss again. Take whatever help and support others can give you.
It’s good that your mother’s death was swift, but you haven’t had a real chance to prepare yourself for this, so be kind to yourself too. <hugs>
I’m so sorry for all of you, and especially your Dad. You are right that she didn’t have to suffer long and she was surrounded by love to the end. That’s a beautiful thing. She obviously was a wonderful presence in many lives and that’s a great legacy.
I lost my mom a couple of weeks ago, Zabali, and I know what you’re going through. Your life is changing right now in ways you can’t even imagine. My prayers and good wishes go to you and your family. Don’t hesitate to come back here and post again if you need to express what your’re going to be feeling in coming weeks and months – you’ll have lots of good company and patient, compassionate listeners.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending supporting thoughts your way!
Zabali-Clawbane, you have my sympathies.
I know that nothing I can say is going to make your mourning any easier, but you’re in my thoughts. I hope you and your dad can find a source of strength and peace to help you through this awful time.