And that would make EddyTeddyFreddy an Aquarius. This is the dawning of the age of…
ETF, Your psychic sensitivity and imaginative SDMB posts gain a boost as the Sun moves 30 degrees to Neptune (11:43AM PST). This is not a major alignment, but you need to watch out for incoming comets. As for in social interactions or business dealings, you’re out of luck - this subtle alignment will cause your death on February 10, 2004.
Okokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokok…
I’m sick, got me a cold (lucky me, eh?), and sleep’s been out of reach these past few days. I was actually in more of an innocent mental mode when I read your death for me. Bear with me, folks… my nose hurtssniff
Well, with such a large mass so close by,(wink) those asteroids are not so random. Gravity is a cruel mistress.
This is something that ponderously(in a good way) endowed spiders, sleek but thouroughly feminine cat lovers, and <adjective censored> blondes discovered one day when they got together. the resulting gravity well attracted far more then their fair share of massive objects. they suffered a crushing death.
OK, OK, no more intercoursely charged posts for me for 1 week. Adn sorry about the last pun as well.
But of course, alterego! Nobody gets out alive from this thread! Which is why another random (or was it…?) asteroid just happens to land on your car as you’re driving to the store to spend some of that Christmas money. It’s a very small one by the time it gets through the atmosphere, but it still packs an immense wallop. When it slams into the engine itestroys it, while the heat generated by its passage through the air sets the mangled wreckage on fire.
Somehow, you survive all that, and as you’re struggling desperately to free yourself from the burning wreck, Michael Ellis comes zooming around the corner in his brand-new Hummer and see you too late to stop.
WHAM!!!
Michael Ellis isn’t badly hurt (he had his seat belt on), but as he leaps from his vehicle, which is now inextricably entangled with the flaming ruins of yours, he’s run over by a '78 Dodge Dart driven by a little old lady on her way to buy parakeet food.
** ETF ** (EddyTeddyFreddy) was working creating new year’s fireworks in the ** ETF ** (Engineering Test Facility) of the ** ETF ** (European Training Fondation), when an ** ETF ** (Encrypted Tranmission Failure) of the ** ETF ** (Electrical Time Fuze) she was working on led to premature explosion. The ** ETF ** (Emergency Task Force) could not revive her.
The sad part? She didn’t finish the fireworks so she was asked ** ETF ** (Early Termination Fees).
Blonde was strangled to death by one of her very blonde, very long, very strong hairs. How it traveled up from between her lil’ buns (remember the buttcrack stragglers thread wink) to settle around her throat, we shall never know.
SanguineSpider was sick of trying to cope with a wonky computer. She’d gone to Circuit City and bought a new hard drive, new memory, new drivers for the screen – new guts galore for the old box. But she couldn’t get a Computer Cowboy to come help her. Everyone was busy, busy, busy installing protective software and devices against a new surge of assaults on the world’s computers by a questionable person with a quantum virus.
Finally, exasperated, SS decided she just couldn’t wait any longer. So, with manuals at hand, she pried off the side of her tower, and plunged in.
Her body was found when the mail piled up. The look of shock on her face amazed the morgue attendants. Alas, our [Spider** has departed the SDMB!
Or has she? What was that red skittering object that just flashed through a corner of the screen?
Well, this is it, my fiendish friends: my post number 2,000!
A couple of months ago, I found myself pondering whether I should continue to post to the SDMB. Then…along came a little thread, started by BellaDellaItalia. I can assure you that if not for this thread, I would have abandoned the board - and so, I thank you, Bella, along with all the fine (albeit twisted) posters who continue to amaze me with their creativity.
Now that I’ve got your attention, you may want to note that the “E” on your keyboard is glowing oddly, and you have about 1.5 seconds to step…
And so Blonde, having demolished all her fellow killers in BellaDellaItalia’s amazing thread, sat back with a chuckle of satisfaction. How skillfully she’d lured them in to what they thought would be a postcount party, only to blow them all away even as she hit the magic number. Bwa-hahahahahaha!!!
Hahahaha…
Ha. Ha. Heh…
With a shudder of despair, Blonde realized that she’d destroyed the very reason for her continued existence on the SDMB. Who would be there for her, to exhort and encourage her, to rally her flagging spirits, to cheer her on toward the far-distant but visible goal of 3,000 posts? :dubious:
WHAT NOW??? :eek:
As the cold, dark miasma of misery and loneliness oozed around her, Blonde choked back a sob, rose from her now useless computer, and went in search of the nearest bridge of suitable height to end her dreary life. Since there weren’t any bridges that met her specifications, however, she was forced in the end to eat mercury-laden tuna in mass quantities till she’d achieved a lethal level of the toxic compound.
And your sloppiness will be your undoing. Having thouroughly dismembered her, the denizens of the PIT deliverd ETF’s body parts to Blonde’s home. Not wanting to clean it up, the mess festered there for weeks. At some point Blonde began to get sick. Laying in bed gasping for air and experiencing fever induced hallucinations, she thought she saw an old friend. Could it be? Had ETF finally come to comfort her in her hour of need?
NO, of course not. It was her vengeful spirit come to exact a price for Blonde’s refusal to provide a decent funeral.
** Pervert**'s complaint to ** UncleBeer ** about the server performances led the moderator to close this thread.
( …like the Word Morphing game, sob… )
** Blonde ** hopes for her 3000th post vanished. She hunted and drowned ** Pervert ** and let him dry in the Arizona desert.
Well, it’s odd that you would bring up the Arizona desert, french frog - because that road trip next year to the Frog-Jumping Contest in Phoenix will be quite interesting indeed.
You’re in first place for a very short time …it would appear that long, tasty legs don’t always win in the war against the machine, er…Bull-Frog!
** Run like the wind!**
>>>SPLAT, GULP<<<
french frog, horrified to learn that cannibalization was imminent, struggled against that dark night, to no avail.
I once was lost, but now I’m free…Hey! Free Frog Legs, everyone!
How had she come to wander in there? She’d sworn, the last time she’d stumbled through its horrors, never to set cyberfoot in the accursed place again.
And yet, here she was, watching yet another trainwreck unfolding before her horrified yet fascinated eyes. How could she stop the madness? How could she escape?
Well, she couldn’t. The trainwreck rolled right over her, mangling her userID beyond repair, and poor Blonde was no more than a scattered and fading cloud of forlorn electrons.
Blonde sat in the tree with the monkey. The monkey was sleeping so peacefully, awwww… what a CUTE widdle monkey. She reached out to pet the monkey as softly as she could and just as she touched it’s fuzzy monkey body, it dropped like a stone out of the tree and hit the ground with a thud! Blonde was instantly overcome by a surge of terrified panic, thinking she had somehow killed the monkey, ALAS, and died of indescribable heartbreak… and dropped like a bigger stone out of the tree. THUD
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, children?
*