In these three scenarios, which person would you rather lose to, the person who was discernibly “better” than you, or the person who was discernibly “worse”?
You enter a writing contest. You come in second. Would you feel better if the winning writer were obviously better than you or obviously worse?
You get dumped by your SO for someone else. Would you feel better if the person you get dumped for is an obvious upgrade and/or your ex-SO goes on to marry that person and have a great life or an obvious mistake and/or your ex-SO goes on to dump or get dumped?
You get fired for someone else. Would you feel better if the new hire is a Nobel Laureate or a random chucklehead?
Oh, I’ll throw in a bonus one:
Your team gets beaten in the playoffs. Would you feel better if the team that beat yours goes on to win it all or if they get slaughtered in the next round?
Thirded. I’ve actually lost in both situations and I had no hard feelings whatsoever when people who were objectively more talented outshone me. Losing to people who are worse than me drives me freakin’ bonkers. The last time it happened was high school graduation and I’m still pissed off about it!
I don’t think I’d go so far as to think it’s okay, but it’s better.
Even though the spiteful side of me would want them all to suffer for choosing someone else, I’d find it easier to swallow if I got booted for someone objectively better.
I have virtually NO problem getting beaten by someone obviously better (unless they are a smug ass about it). I’ll certainly take that feeling over getting beaten by crap or even worse because they cheated. And getting beaten by a crappy smug ass who cheated…well…where did I put that blood pressure medicine…
Better. It’s an actual contest. I’d prefer the person who deserved to win to actually win.
In an ideal world, I’d want the new person to be a better match for my former SO (which doesn’t necessarily make them a better person – just better-suited). Of course, if the breakup is bitter, it would be hard for me to wish well upon the ex, and if she ended up with someone worse, it would be easier for my ego to say, “See? She exercised poor judgment dumping me, and it’s verified by her continued poor judgment afterward!”
If a company just flat-out fires me? That implies that either I wasn’t getting the job done, in which case, I deserved to be fired, or that the company sucked for continuing to seek out another candidate even though I actually was getting the job done. In the first case, I’d hope they hired someone better since I clearly sucked. In the second, I’d be incredibly bitter and would probably hope they ended up shooting themselves in the foot.
I am very loyal to my sports teams. Whatever team beat mine and celebrated stomping on my team is not someone I can bring myself to root for going forward. I hope that team gets swept in the next round and becomes the poster child for choking on the big stage for decades to come. I’m looking at you, Philadelphia Phillies.
I would prefer to be beaten by someone who is better then me.
As to being dumped by an S.O. for someone else, I’d prefer it to be for an inferior.
That way she would come to regret her action and give me some sort of vengeful satisfaction.
In contests with objective measures of success, I prefer for the better teams to win. A “victory for the rating system”, as we say in the competitive chess world. I can’t stand to lose a chess game to someone rated beneath me because that means my skill is actually at their pitiful level.
Same goes for sports.
Romance, however, has no objective measure of “better” or “worse”, so I hope the SO chokes and dies. I’m the best man on Earth. Everyone knows that, 'cept her.
As for work…business is business. It’s all cut-throat and I’m OK with that. I hope they find someone better, I guess, but I’m really pretty indifferent to them after they fire me.
Better. I’d much rather think, “Oh, yeah, that person is a much better writer than I am,” than “Geez, I wonder how that bozo beat me?”
Worse. Unless I’ve done something that would cause him to dump me (that is, the dump is more my fault than his), I don’t particularly want him to be happy in his next relationship.
Noble Laureate, definitely. At least then I could justify it to myself.
Win it all. This happens to me every year in the Stanley Cup playoffs. I at least hope that if the Sharks have to lose again in the playoffs, the team that beats them will be good enough to win the whole banana.
Do I still love her? Then someone better. If the person proceeds to break her heart, I will be filled with rage and do something stupid and violent, because, well, I’m a violent nitwit sometimes.
Random chucklehead, figuring he’ll do maximum damage to the business that fired me.
Can’t relate to this one. I’m not that kind of nerd.
Good. If I though their writing was bad, that would mean mine was worse.
Probably “upgrade”. If it were a downgrade, I’d have more to wonder about what he had that I didn’t. If I consider it an upgrade, then it’s obvious.
Again, the better person, unless there was a chance that chucklehead might get fired and I get rehired (and I can hold out for higher pay.)
Depends on whether the we had beaten any of the higher teams in the main season. If so, then I’d prefer them to be beaten, as it means them beating us was a fluke. If we’d lost, it would be nicer to have lost to the champion team.
On reading the thread:
Skald: I just thought of sports the way I’d think of other vicarious competitions, and applied the logic to how I’ve picked up that sports are put together: You have a regular season, where you play everybody, and then a championship where you can get eliminated by a single game.
I don’t follow any such endeavor. The closest I’d come is to chess, but I haven’t any emotional investment in who succeeds Viswanathan Anand or Alexandra Kosteniuk on top of the heap.
A better writer. To come second to someone like that feels like winning.
Upgrade. That way we have the option and possibility of all being friends.
Chucklehead. Then I’d be sure it wasn’t the right company for me to work for.
Not into sports enough to really know - but as a guess, if my team was out, then I’d be rooting for
whichever I thought was the better of the remaining teams; which may or may not be the team that beat
mine.
I much prefer to be beaten by someone better than I am. That shows that I’m at least on the right track. Besides, look at folks like Daughtrey (sp?). I don’t remember at what point he got kicked off of AI, and I don’t remember who even won that season, but from what I understand, he’s the one that’s actually gone on to have a more financially successful career.
Even if you’re second, it could still end “well” so to speak.
The easiest for me to choose is the bonus one. I’d rather they won it all because there is no shame in losing to the best team in the league. Losing due to a fluke or misstep only to have them go on to get creamed in the finals would be embarassing.
Writing contest? Better. If my work lost when compared to something clearly inferior I would assume corruption or favoritism and would feel like letting the air out of someone’s tires (not that I ever would but I’d feel like it). I’d like the winner’s work to be awe inspiringly better than mine. I think to have the judges say “It all came down to points. You got 97.5 out of a hundred and we gave the piece that won 97.75 points.” would burn even more than losing to a hack.
For the dumping and the firing I think my answers are the same. Better or worse might be hard to quantify so I’d hope mainly for someone different. If my SO dumped me for an overweight slightly sarcastic middleaged brunette I’d be crushed. If he said "she loves hiking and housework and watching football " I’d wish them both well. Same with a job. If I worked in a widget factory and got fired because I only made 62 widgets an hour and my replacement made 75 I’d understand. If s/he made 112 an hour so much the better.
