pregnancy/brain gone/tired survey

Hi, I’m quite new to the SDMB, but I’ve noticed in my lurking that you guys have A LOT of opinions to share, so here goes…

I was pregnant for the first (and so far only) time just over four years ago. Like some pregnant women, I was tired the entire time. Not just run down, but totally wiped out to the point that not only couldn’t I work, I didn’t even keep up with doing piddly stuff around the house. And my brain disappeared at the same time. Maybe not totally gone, but I went from near-perfect scores in Calculus to struggling with the checkbook. As you can imagine, I was really looking forward to my daughter becoming a neighbor rather than tenant, so I could get my life back.

It never happened. The little one is now nearly four, and I’m still exhausted and my brain still resembles dryer lint. I’ve seen over a dozen doctors, had blood tests for more things than I can remember (all results normal) and the best they can offer is depression (per two psychiatrists and a psychologist, I’m not depressed) or that this is a “common complaint” among women.

I don’t buy it. If it was common, I’d have heard about it before. If it was common, there would be a much lower birth rate, because NOBODY would get pregnant a second time, and very few a first time, if there was a chance it would change your life like this.

So I wondered how many of you (or how many of your friends) have experienced the same thing? Is it common, but nobody talks about it?

Thanks very much!

Hmmm. Not my experience and I’ve had two kids. I felt very tired the first trimester, but the rest of the time I had plenty of energy. After the kids were born, I was somewhat sleep deprived for the first 6 months or so, but caught up after that.

You said you’ve had lots of tests. I was going to suggest looking into possible thyroid problems. Tiredness and difficulty concentrating are prime symptoms of hypothyroid, which is very common among women who’ve had babies.

pregnancy brain and mommy brain - still have mommy brain, but it isn’t as bad as pregnancy brain. For me it is directly linked to sleep deprivation. Also, if you have an underlying affective disorder (bipolar, etc.), pregnancy and lactation hormones can make it worse (can’t remember the cite on that but I found it interesting - if you don’t have something ‘wrong’ in the first place, no impact at all).

I also recommend the thyroid check. If you haven’t seen an endocrinologist, see one. It is possible some other hormonal imabalance is involved. That’s assuming you aren’t just plain normally exhausted. I know a few people who find just spending a few hours with one child is SO draining they can barely move for hours afterwards. I know there are times when my son is in such constant motion it wipes me out. (Don’t you remember your mom saying you had so much energy SHE was tired to death? - mine did!) Some people are set up to handle the constant energy drain much better than others. You might need more REAL rest (time spent doing NOTHING - not thinking, planning, worrying, reading, watching tv - JUST zoning on NOTHING), or more play time (just for YOU), or a different schedule of activities so you get some energy IN at the right time.

Good luck!

I have also had similar symptoms to yours, but mine is depression & sleep deprivation. I concur with Hedra, though, get your thyroid tested. You could also try exercising. That really helped me.
I was reading Parents (yes I know it’s tripe) and it said something interesting about “Mommy Brain.” It said that the quality of your memory is the same, but the quantity of what you have to remember is much higher. Eg-when it is just you going out all you need is purse/wallet & keys, but with kids you have to remember daipers, wipes, ointment, snacks, juice, extra sweater, toys etc. I feel much better about forgetting a thing or two when you think about it that way.

I do know of some people whose bodies went through profound changes after pregnancy. One suddenly developed allergies to many food items (wheat, chocolate, etc) which never bothered her before. Another friend of mine has been having problems for 18 months and they still don’t know what’s going on. She keeps getting tested, keep trying to figure it out. She’s got fatigue, itchy skin, a lot of other symptoms which I can’t even remember. They thought she might have massive yeast overgrowth in her body, or diabetes, or rheumotoid arthritis… or Epstein-Barr (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). Yet another friend is now having similar symptoms (tons of yeast infections, weird appetite) and is just starting the same process.

So while I can’t tell you what’s wrong with you, I doubt you are the only one! Keep a log of all your symptoms so you get a sense, overall, of what is happening, and whether your tiredness, etc seems to coincide with anything else. That will help your doctor.

Hmm. Well, 66 views, 4 replies. Assuming (tho’ it’s silly to assume anything) that those replying are the only one’s who’ve experienced this, then a skosh over 6%. Doesn’t qualify for “common” in my book.

But many thanks to you who did reply, and for your encouraging words.

ZCam I can sort of relate to what you’re experiencing. I don’t feel as bad as you do, but I’ve never really gone back to my pre-pregnancy self either. I was always a poor sleeper, and it got much much worse after the baby was born. Then, when he finally started sleeping through the night, he also developed night terrors and sleepwalking! And now I’m so used to getting up 2 or 3 times a night, I do it even when he is quiet.

Still, it is not as bad as what you describe, and I will join in in encouraging you to try and find a treatment that works. Can you change doctors? Also, keep a log (like somebody else suggested) and see if it goes in cycles. I get PMS brain which sounds almost exactly like you describe. Now that I think of it, that got worse after pregnancy, too.

My pregnancy was 16 years ago. Had an extremely Laaaaaaargggge baby (10 pounds, 12 ouches), Fatigue??? gads, less than zero energy. has it improved since then? no. although a year ago, when they found a sugar imbalance it improved a bit. I believe that my metabolism changed significantly, and that my body stopped using insulin properly (which eventually led to the sugar imbalance). I’d been checked for the sugar problem right after his birth (large birth weight babies signal that) best of luck to you.

by the way, the reason you’ve never heard of these things is 'cause if we KNEW what all we’d be in for, the species would cease to exist…

The “pregnancy brain” thing left after my son was born, thank God, as did my brutal clutziness. I was never exactly princess grace to begin with, but once my joints began to loosen prior to the birth (they all do, not just your hips), I couldn’t hold anything, I’d think I had a grip then drop it, etc.

I am damn tired, but that’s because the little prince doesn’t sleep through the night- nine months old! I needed lots of sleep before- now I’m getting used to it. I am still up 2-4 times a night.

I don’t experience the thyroid-ish symptoms, but I would have your doctor check. For me, as soon as I stop nursing, I am getting all hormone levels checked, especially testosterone. Or we will never have another kid!!!

but mine is mostly, as the others said, depression and sleep deprivation. And, yes, exercise helps a HUGE amount.

And boy, did I ever drop stuff when I was pregnant! I would say, with my first kid, I probably dropped 40% of whatever I tried to pick up. It was awful!

Well, I’ve always said you lose half a brain per child. Right now I’m on negative one-half.

Seriously, I’ve been tired for 13 years now. I often wonder if the severe post-partum depression I had with my first never really resolved itself, and just turned into the low level chronic form.

Even though doctors have said you are not depressed, I would see if I could convince someone to try a trial course of antidepressants, and see if there is any improvement.

I love this! Thank you ALL! And, oh, wow, I really feel for those of you who’ve put up with this for longer than I have. I applaud you for having the strength to endure this long.

More than ever I don’t think these symptoms should be dismissed as “a common complaint from women”! I am stunned every time a doctor has the gall to suggest bubble baths and scented candles as a course of treatment.

I have seen quite a few different doctors, and been tested for thyroid (three times) among other problems. The only thing they come up with is that it’s kinda weird how normal all my tests are. I’ve also tried three different anti-depressants (Zoloft, Welbutrin, Efexor) and all they do is make me feel REALLY weird.

I have exercised, thoroughly. Earlier in my life I was in the Marine Corps for four years, and believe me, I know how to exercise! It’s more fun now, with more variety. But it doesn’t help my energy levels. My endurance and strength increase, the little aches and pains go away, but still no energy.

I did get a bit of good news yesterday. I had badgered one of my doctors into doing some more tests, any tests, and I definitely have a B12 deficiency. He wants me in for more tests, so maybe there’s hope after all. I looked this topic up on the web and was amazed. Symptoms include fatigue and impaired mental functions, as well as being physically uncoordinated! It’s not usally a lack of B12 in the diet, but the inability of your body to absorb it. So if any of you haven’t been checked for that yet, you may want to have it done.

Ta ta.