Yog, we all understand the situation. Speaking at least for myself, you should spend more time trying to stop your sister from acquiring a dog than attempting to accomodate the situation. If you get stuck with the dog in the end (ouch), you won’t need much prep time.
And perhaps, maybe just a little bit, you really want that dog. If that’s the case, setting up your sister to take the blame for any problems and cover some of the costs is a really good strategy! If that’s what’s actually going on, then a tip of my hat to you!
As someone who volunteers at the city animal shelter, who also drives rescue transport…DON’T GET A DOG. You would not believe the number of dogs we get in that are owner surrenders because no one in the household was really willing to commit to the dog. Small, medium, large, they come in with excuses like, “We don’t have time,” “No one really takes care of him,” “He takes too much work.” Based on everything I’ve read that you’ve written in this post, I predict that this dog will end up, in a years time (or less), largely ignored and eventually dumped at a shelter.
Uh I think getting her own place is a lot more expensive! I don’t think one leads to the other
I’ve tried the whole ‘telling her she’s on her own’ thing before. That actually worked for years. I’m hoping it’ll work again, but I suspect I’m wrong. Then again, I can’t really read people, so maybe she won’t get a dog after all. Its hard to tell from emails and brief 5 min phone conversations how serious she is, maybe
About the puppy mill thing, isn’t living in a shelter better? Puppy mills, from all the horror stories, seem like the worst place for a dog other than Michael Vick’s house. Wouldn’t it be an upgrade for the dog? Not that I’d support that, for one thing it would be a huge waste of money
Ugh, that sounds totally not fun. I actually thought it was like a school for dogs you can send. Now I have to be there? That’s too much work for me I think. Maybe she’ll think it is too
Ha! Well, there is a small part of me that wants a dog, I won’t lie about that. Like I said, I do like dogs, and I’ve gone over to friends houses before just to play with their dog, without telling them that’s the real reason of course. Then all the poop stories scare me off and I’m glad I don’t have a dog when I’m on my 6th hour of gaming and don’t have to stop to feed it or take it out. I’m a little excited, but mostly anxious, about getting a pet
;p Its not going to be that bad! Don’t be so paranoid!
What a thoroughly ignorant statement you have made. Have you ever been to an animal shelter? seen how they work? Most likely that dog isn’t living the high life in shelter care. Mostly likely it’s dead. This dog was living in a home with people. How can you say going to the shelter is an upgrade? The dog doesn’t remember that once a long time ago it used to live in even worse surroundings. It only knows that one day it was living in a house with people and now it is living (if it hasn’t been euthanized) on a cement slab, maybe getting a chance to run out in the sun once a week if there are enough volunteers. Yeah, that’s an upgrade.
Yog doesn’t want a dog, and is doing his best to talk his sister out of it.
Assuming that fails, he’s asking what type of dog would best survive in the environment it’s going to be moving into.
No dog is going to thrive alone in the yard of most the day, but I’d say your best bet is to go to the pound and pick an older dog that appears to be resigned to his fate, as opposed to one that looks happy to see any random person walk into the building.
And, once again, Yog agrees that his household shouldn’t have a dog.
Dogs are work. Period. Some of the work is not fun (poop patrol), some is fun (teaching tricks) but its work. Every day. Brushing, clipping nails, exercising, socializing, playing, feeding, cleaning up etc etc.
Caring, tending to, and loving another living being is work. And if it’s not work that she’s prepared to do, it’s unfair to the animal. It’s worth it to those who want the animal, but make no mistake: it’s work and a commitment.
I have a question not related to the dog aspect of it. Your sister is 32 years old. Why do you need to sit down and talk to her about what a big responsibility it is? That sounds like something a parent would do for an eight year old.
Yeah, that’s kind of how I see it. I do hope that the parents reconsider their outside-only stance. Many dogs would be perfectly happy flopped on the floor nearby while the OP plays video games, just like my current dog is flopped on the couch near me while I type this.
Regardless, if they’re going to get a dog, I’d prefer to see them get a dog that is most likely to be able to adapt to the situation, and preferably give a dog from the shelter a chance (since I do believe a less than optimal life in a family is better than being euthanized at an overcrowded shelter). Your idea of an older dog is a great one. Plenty of older dogs just want somewhere comfortable to relax.
I am a supporter of the local animal shelters and every week there are a number of excellent animals in a variety of ages and breeds who are euthanized because nobody wants them. I definitely would rather see those animals at least get a chance in a home, as long as the potential owners are not abusive or neglectful. While in my view it’s not ideal for a dog to be a mainly outdoor pet, if the animal has a well insulated dog house to protect it from bad weather, secure fencing, food, water, room to run, and at least some daily attention then it’s not my idea of neglect.
I guess another factor to me is that they have had a dog before and so therefore should already have some idea of what they’re getting into. Dogs do require some attention, but it’s not like some all-consuming herculean task. They’re adaptable animals.
But it’s a bad question. There is no dog that is going to do well living alone in a backyard with very limited attention and care. The OP’s attitude is that the dog will just have to “deal”. It’s not realistic; the family is going to have to “deal” with the dog acting out from neglect. Reality is that if the sister is too lazy to walk the dog and can’t keep the dog inside, it’s going to have practically no kind of interaction. I doubt that anyone is going to spend hours outside with this dog on a daily basis, right? Going out for 5 minutes to pet the dog when you feel like it and making sure it’s fed and watered is not a sufficient standard of care for a dog. The dog also can’t be trained properly in an isolated environment like that. Any dog in that situation can easily become seriously maladjusted, destructive to property or aggressive.
I don’t think anyone wants to recommend a breed or type of dog because really there is no good answer to that question. No breed of dog is going to thrive in that environment – thus there’s really no good recommendation to make. The right recommendation is not to get a dog. If you start a thread asking “what kind of stick should I use to beat my kids? Look, they’re going to get beat with a stick either way, which is the best kind to not leave marks and not hurt the kids as much”, do you expect an informative answer with pros and cons of stick types or do you expect about 100 responses saying “Uh, don’t beat your kids”?
Just because one situation is not as bad as another does not make it a good one.
Puppy mills and animal shelters are not happy homes for dogs, but neither is what you are proposing. Sure the dog will survive. He’ll probably live for years, but the half-assed crappy effort that your family is offering to provide for another living creature that you will deliberatly take on responsibility for is signifcantly less than ideal.
Given a choice of your home or euthansia for one of my dogs and I would euthanize. Dogs deserve better. There are dogs that are less social than others, but why would you want one as a pet? They’re not like a bicycle that you can take out and play with when you have time and then just put away in the yard until you feel like playing again. Dogs do have needs for companionship, affection, exercise and interaction, as well as food, water and shelter.
So why does your sister want a dog, if she doesn’t have the time or the desire to look after it beyond its most base needs?
Please tell me this is a joke. If this is the way you really feel, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR SISTER NEED A DOG!
-What happens if the dog you get has behavioral problems, like separation anxiety or fear of thunderstorms?
-What happens if it has allergies to cheap grocery store food and needs a special diet that costs $4/pound?
-What happens when it gets old and needs medication twice a day, and that medication is $50/month or more?
-What happens if the dog you get is cute and fluffy now, but needs regular grooming to stay comfortable?
Dogs may not be family to you, but they are living, breathing, intelligent, loving needy animals that deserve not to be taken in on a whim. And they can live for 20 years or more, for little dogs.
Tell your sister to go volunteer at the shelter to get her dog fix. She’ll be doing a wonderful thing, and she can go home at night to a family that doesn’t resent her and her shirked responsibility.
One is outdoor, one is a garage dog, and the other I don’t know
No I’ve never been to an animal shelter, which probably answers your other questions
Thank you! That’s what I’ve been trying to say!
I’m going to add the brushing and nail clipping to the list of things I’ll bring up with her
I am 32, she is 23
Well I disagree with that assessment. As kids, if our parents want to do something, like get a divorce, or move away from all our friends in town, we just have to deal with it. Its not fair, its not ideal, but better to be prepared for it than jump into it blindly. As I said, the decision for getting the dog will ultimately be made by my sister, that’s not going to change. I have some input, which is why I plan on raising many of the issues discussed here. But its her choice and I just want some input dealing with the possible bad situation
There’s a certain line I won’t cross, however, which is to go behind her back and convince my parents not to let her have one, or to do some big brotherly intimidation or threats to make sure she doesn’t get one. I get the feeling that some people who have not resigned to me having a dog is inching me towards that and I don’t like it. I’m sorry, but if she wants one enough, the dog will just have to deal with it. We’re not cruel or evil and the dog will get plenty of food, just maybe not as much love and attention it would be if it lived with the Brady Bunch.
Not hours, no. But an hour, sure. And we’re not going to feed it whenever we feel like it, but we’re certainly not going to feed it every day on the strike of the hour. It gets breakfast, lunch, and dinner at around those times.
I would suggest a soft stick, but that’s just me
She told me because she wants to be more family oriented and getting a dog would help her to stay home more and not go out as much
Like I said, I personally would rather she reconsider, even though I’m slightly excited about getting a dog. But she’s the one who really wants one, not me
-I don’t know how you’d even deal with separation anxiety in humans, so I wouldn’t know for a dog. As for thunderstorms, we let the dog inside the house when it rains so that shouldn’t be a problem
-Money to buy more expensive food isn’t an issue. We’re not rich, but we can afford dog food
-That’s one thing I plan on talking to her about, if she has enough to pay for unexpected medical issues
-Our old dog we used to have her groomed like twice a year. We’ll probably do the same
We plan on caring for the dog, we’re not cats in disguise. We just don’t, or at least I don’t, think that we need to baby it so much.
Thanks. I will actually bring that up to her as a possibility.
Add bathing, for when they roll in something dead. Or when, like today, the poop is runny and gets stuck to the hair around her butt, and you get woke up at 7 a.m. because your SO needs help to put the 60 pound dog in the bathtub and wash the shit off her stinky ass. “You can’t get her clean with a wash cloth – use your hand!” What a way to start the day. At least when it happened in summer, we could hose her off outside.
So yeah, brushing (some dogs need it done daily), clipping, bathing, cleaning ears, brushing teeth – some dogs need their anal glands squeezed regularly – spaying and neutering, heartworm pills, yearly vaccinations, and that’s just with young healthy dogs.
This is why she wants a dog? So she won’t go out so much? That’s got to be one of the lamest reasons ever for taking on the care of another living creature.
People who want to be family oriented, stay home with their family. People who want to stay home more and not go out so much, stay home, and don’t go out. Having a dog isn’t going to make her change her ways, especially if she can just put it out in the yard.
People who want a dog, get one because they actually want to spend time with it. They want to walk it and train it and spend time teaching it tricks. The want to spend more than an hour a day doing these things with it. They don’t mind the yucky bits because they love the dog.
I don’t think you understand. You’re planning on helping someone get a dog who has no intention of caring for it properly. It’s completely foreseeable that this will create problems and probably will end up with a euthanasia or giving the dog up. This isn’t unforeseen problems in life, it is planning to fail.
You’ve gotten that input, you just don’t want to hear it. The input is there is no dog that meets the requirements that you’ve set, nor whose requirements will be met by what you’re stating you and your sister will contribute.
She’s not a child, she’s an adult woman. You don’t need to go behind her back (I don’t understand why you keep mentioning this) – you need to say what’s right. Not “get this kind of dog” but “I really don’t think you should get a dog” and stick by that. Don’t help rationalize the decision by assisting with choosing a pet. She is not in a position to take care of the animal.
I’m an adult, I have adult siblings. I know telling someone something they do not want to hear is tough. Sometimes it needs to be done. Be open and honest with her, and your parents since they’re involved, that a dog can’t just be left outside all the time on its own. Don’t say “I’m kind of excited to get a dog too but maybe it’s not a good idea.” Say “hon, sorry but a dog can’t be kept outside alone all the time, that won’t work. Why don’t we work on getting you into your own place and then we can look at dogs?” or, flatly, “I’m sorry but getting a dog is a really bad decision with your current lifestyle.” And stick by that.
What you are suggesting is cruel. Sorry, but them’s the breaks. A lifetime of social isolation and a lack of stimulation for a dog, a social animal, is neglect. Sure, you’re not setting it on fire. That doesn’t make it okay.
Honestly, by the tone of your apathy, I sincerely doubt you or your sister are going to spend an hour outside every day with the dog. And even if you did, it would not be enough to make up for being isolated and ignored by the rest of the family (its pack) for 23 hours a day for its whole life.
Understanding and taking care of an animal’s basic needs is not babying it. Honestly, dude, just think about it for a second. What the heck is this dog going to do out there all day?
Here’s an example. A co-worker of mine got a dog in a situation like yours, where someone in the family wanted one but nobody really wanted to commit to it. The dog ended up spending all night in the kennel and all day in the yard. It went, basically, nuts and started destroying the shit out of everything – digging, tearing things up, wearing down a massive track from endlessly pacing. When they would let it in for a little attention, maybe an hour a day, it would freak out out of complete over-excitement and run like a maniac through the house, causing damage and sometimes injury (as people got knocked down or into things). End result? Dog given up for adoption. They felt really bad about it and at least did care enough to find an individual to adopt (rather than dumping it at a shelter) but the decision that caused the heartbreak of the whole situation was made when they decided to get the dog. These people liked dogs, but they were a busy family, two parents working full-time and two kids who had a ton of sports and activities lasting well into the night. They meant well. They didn’t mean to be cruel. In the end, though, they did realize that the environment was cruel to the dog and they weren’t in the position to take care of the dog.
Puppy mills, from all the horror stories, seem like the worst place for a dog other than Michael Vick’s house. Wouldn’t it be an upgrade for the dog? Not that I’d support that, for one thing it would be a huge waste of money