I’m with Miss Elizabeth. This whole situation makes me sick. And the one that is going to suffer is the poor dog.
Dogs are wonderful creatures, but yes, they are work. They don’t train themselves, and you don’t drop them off at an obedience school. Even with you (or your sister) taking the training classes, the dog still needs training thru the week. Training really never stops… they will see how much they can get away with and need refresher courses.
Some dogs are less social, but MOST dogs live to be with their pack. That means their human family. Personally, I would *rather *see a dog humanely euthanized than living alone with no companionship.
I think your whole attitude about this situation is way too cavalier.
Yes, it does. Quite logically. When she’s living under your parents’ roof, she is obligated to respect their wishes. When she gets her own place, she can do whatever she damn well pleases (including getting a dog and taking improper care of it). A nurse (who isn’t unemployed) should be pulling in pretty damn good cash. A responsible adult would put the money that she would otherwise spend on the dog toward a deposit on a new apartment, then worry about the dog when her cashflow recovers. A responsible adult certainly wouldn’t piss off her parents by getting a dog that her dad might be allergic to and her mom doesn’t want in the house.
Most abandoned dogs don’t end up in no-kill shelters. More importantly, adopting from a puppy mill increases the demand for puppy mill dogs. If the puppy mills had no demand for dogs, then they wouldn’t be born in the first place. The absence of misery that occurs when an unwanted dog wasn’t born in the first place is a MUCH better option than perpetuating the existence of puppy mills just because the unwanted dog will be “happier” in a shelter later (for a month until they’re euthanized).
*Why *do you keep making excuses? I really hope this is getting through to you. Just in case it’s not, I’m bringing out the bold: **Your sister has no business owning a dog in her current living situation, nor with her current abysmal level of animal education. It is not better for a dog to be born in a puppy mill, be forced to live outside because it has a horrible owner, and possibly get sent to a shelter to die because the owner is horrible, self-deluded, and stupid. **
Yeah I thought that was kind of a weird reason too, but she’s wanted one for a while. I think that’s probably one of the reasons, or the strongest reason, but that she still also likes dogs and wants one
Hey now. I’m not helping her to get one. I’m just planning for one in case she does get one. And you give people too little credit. There’s every bit the chance that we’ll all fall wildly in love with the dog (not me, but them) and hang out with it a lot. At least the first year
The reason that input’s not helpful is that it doesn’t help the dog in any way if in fact we get one. You’re basically saying not to get it, but not planning what to do in case we get one. I already know we probably shouldn’t have a dog, which is why I made this topic to raise issues that I might have missed. But keep this in mind: if and when we get a dog, we have to deal with it. We can’t just sit around and say “We shouldn’t have gotten the dog”. We’ll have a living, breathing animal that needs care. And I need to know the best way to deal with that. I’ve been honest with our situation in that its not the best, but it is what it is and its not changing. The parents will not suddenly become dog people and I enjoy video games too much to give that up to go for walks
Well, to answer your questions out of order, she’s not moving out, that’s just not going to happen. This isn’t going to end like a movie where we all end up happy and living separately. The dog will be with us, if we get one, and this is the home in which he’ll have to adapt to. And I’ve mentioned that I have tried to talk her out of it, successfully, for years, by raising the very issues that I’m posting about here. But I have a gut feeling that this time its not going to work and I want to plan for it. At the very least, I want to have some input into what kind of dog we’re getting. If I’m going to be forced to live with one, I at least want a cute one (that’s why I mentioned the Sheltie). All of the putting-my-foot-downs in the world isn’t going to help once a dog is actually purchased, so I want to be realistic here and at least gather some information for her to have
And I mention the going behind her back to parents because someone suggested I try to convince my parents to not let her have a dog if she won’t be convinced by me. I’m not going to do that, it would be a mean thing for me to do to her
How many families have a full time dog person at home who doesn’t work and rarely goes out? We’re a normal-ish family, but we all work. So for part of the day, the dog’s going to be alone in the yard. That’s hardly cruel, it doesn’t need constant petting for the whole day. Once we all start getting home in the late afternoon, things will pick up
Don’t mistake my apathy for hers. She’s the one who wants the dog. I would be willing to give up some gold farming time to meander around the backyard with the dog. I think I don’t really have to show much enthusiasm though since I’m not the one who wants the dog
What does a hamster do all day in its cage, or a goldfish in its bowl? Am I a bad dog owner if there isn’t at least a human or another dog to interact with for a few hours each day? Hell, even I can’t stand that much socializing, I’d rather have less each day that the amount I get. I think your mistake is thinking that the dog is like a human. I’m sure it’ll be fine in the backyard for a few hours
Well I can only stop it so far. If we get a dog, either we’ll turn into dog people or the dog will end up somewhere else, hopefully better. Its a sad story but not every story ends up like that. Or maybe we’ll just get another dog for the first dog to talk to
So if you want to help, tell me what kind of dog isn’t so social. There must, out of the hundreds of breeds out there, exist some emo dogs that would be a good fit.
We work. My dog is at home during the day. But, when my son gets home around 2:30, and I get home around 5-6, our dog is with us, playing, sleeping, watching. She then sleeps in my room so she gets “pack” time from 2:30 (5 or 6 at the latest if my son does after school stuff) until 7:30 am.
When she was a pup we had a dog walker come mid-day. People who’s lives are terribly more busy don’t get dogs or don’t relegate them to the yard away from their pack all night.
I get you’re trying to make this ok. But you can’t. The dog will be neglected and ignored by 3/4 of his family. A dog won’t understand why he’s on the outside and excluded. You cant explain a suboptimal situation like you could to a child. No reasoning skills! He’ll just be anxious and stressed and sad.
My experience with yard dogs is that basically they bark, shit, eat and distress the neighbours. The dogs get little joy from their lives, and it would seem, the people who own these dogs get little joy from them. I really don’t understand why someone would bother keeping a dog that they care so little about.
Have you considered who in the family is going to clean up the dog poop in the yard? Or does the dog get to live in his own filth?
Let your sister know that 4 million pets are euthanized every year in this country, mostly for the crime of needing to be fed, walked and loved. Just from today’s Craiglist:
This is just a sample of today’s dogs for adoption on my local Craigslist. Look at that last one - 3 month old pup. The shiny has worn off. Or the Cocker - 9 years old, but now a baby is due in may, so this elderly dog has to go.
This is what happens to dogs when people don’t think pet ownership through.
I don’t get it. You start making sense and sounding halfway reasonable, and then you make a comment like that.
At least the first year? You do realize that a healthy dog will easily live 12-15 years, depending on the breed? He won’t need you just for the first year. He’ll need you and be interested in you as long as he lives. You’ll need to do the same for him.
I’ve never met an outdoor dog who was well-adjusted, with the exception of farm dogs. They can spend most of their days outside and do great, but they’re around their people, or around other dogs.
Something else to consider is that even people who spend a lot of time and energy on their dogs can have problems with them. Ever watch The Dog Whisperer? Those owners bent over backwards to make their dogs happy, and they still had issues. You’ll be starting in a hole. What kind of success can you expect?
You are not a dog. A dog is not a human. A dog is a pack animal and has it’s own socialization needs. What socializing you prefer has no bearing on the evolutionary process that has led to the dog.
On top of that, you say it will be fine in the backyard for a few hours, but it seems clear to me that ‘a few hours’ means all night, all day, and most of the afternoon and evening. That’s not a few hours.
Why even participate in this discussion if you’re not going to absorb a single damn thing that anyone writes?
No such thing. Reference that whole bit about dogs being pack animals. The various breeds differ in things like size, color, temperament and activity levels, but the common thing is that all dog breeds are pack animals.
NO ONE is saying that a dog has to have companionship 24/7.You are twisting our words to make those of us who are advising not to get a dog sound like loonies. I live alone, single woman and I have 5 dogs. I work 40 hours a week. BUT… when I am not home with them, they still have their pack- each other. I would not consider having a single dog so long as I am in this circumstance.
My dogs all have outdoor time- the 2 big Setters spend several hours a day outside, weather permitting. But they ALL get house time, eating and sleeping inside.
The ‘life’ your family is offering a dog is nothing short of neglect and bordering on abuse. You are being so flippant about it, it turns my stomach. A dog is not a toy, to be played with the first few months and then cast aside when you tire of the care. A dog is a living, breathing creature capable of giving great love…even when it is not deserved. Your excuses and ‘so what’ attitude are really beginning to wear on me.
This is one of the saddest threads I have ever read, for so many reasons, and not just regarding the lack of basic knowledge about dog care. Why are there two adults living in mom and dad’s house and ignoring their wishes in their own home? You should have places of your own by now, both of you, and your sister can get a dog then. Stop making excuses for it. There is no excuse for this behavior. Stop imposing. You’re both being very rude to your parents.
But you have the option to go do other things if you don’t feel like socializing. The dog is stuck in the backyard.
It just doesn’t make sense. You guys don’t seem to want to spend time with it. So why even get one? If you’re starting off saying “What kind of dog is the least social”…it just seems odd that you’d even get a dog at all.
Hamsters and goldfish are not dogs. You might as well compare a toddler with an MIT student - similar in some ways, but very very different in ways that matter.
The original concept- choosing a dog that fits your lifestyle is actually a very good one. We didn’t get the Boarder Collie I wanted because we didn’t have the time to devote to running one for hours everyday. We didn’t get a small nervous dog because we had small children. So, yes, people do choose dogs based on their own lifestyle preferences. So you were right about starting with that idea.
Does that mean your life has to cater to the dog? No. My dog does not like when we board her during our vacations. But we do board her anyway. However, we don’t vacation often at all, so we make the compromise for her happiness.
The problem here is the lifestyle you’re describing is so extreme that it’s hard to imagine a dog that would be happy and thrive. And the degree of compromise on your family’s part seems minimal at best. Getting a dog is a two street- it’s for the owner’s happiness sure. But it has to be about the dog’s happiness as well. To do otherwise is selfish. I don’t hear from your descriptions any concern for the dog’s happiness or quality of life in this situation. I think is what most people are reacting viscerally to- that apparent lack of the dog’s needs in the whole question.
I can’t even read this with a straight face. You’re 30-something years old, and you really though obedience school was something you sent your dog to alone?!? You and your sister have no business getting a dog.
The only dog you and your sister are qualified to own is one that comes from Toys R Us.
And the one that is going to suffer is the poor dog.