You know, I was going to say, as an evil genius mastermind he’s going about it all wrong. At the very least, he should be a lot more muscular, shave off all his hair, and adopt quasi-military uniforms in dark red and black. Then maybe I could take his despotism a little more seriously.
Some time after the first election, my brother solemnly told me that he had gone down to the basement and “loaded up everything I’ve got”. He was referring to his considerable stash of brass, powder and bullets for his equally significant collection of weapons. When I asked why, he had no real answer, just some vague mutterings. What foolishness.
I was watching TeeVee this morning before heading into work, and I turned to Fox ‘n’ Friends real quick. It’s a little game I play – I see if the banner they have up for whatever story they’re talking about rises to the level of bat-shit or not. More often than not, it does.
This morning’s headline - “Gun Grab!” And the sub-title was something like, “Obama’s Second Term Plan for Making Guns Illegal,” or some stupid shit like that. They had this little dweeb on going on about the conspiracy theory that Obama signed a U.N. treaty that puts them in charge of all guns in America. And the moron’s on the curvy couch just sat there nodding their empty heads.
So, you know, business as usual over at Fox “News.”
The 500 cords of wood item cracks me up. That’s a stack of wood the size of a modest 1000 square foot house, 64 feet high. Or a typical 4 foot high 4 foot wide stack, 4,000 feet long. I don’t think this dude has ever seen, let alone cut and stacked, a cord of wood.
He probably thinks a “cord” is a single piece of chopped wood.
I’m kind of hoping that he actually placed an order for 500 cords of firewood, to make good on his statement, and that someone is there with a cellphone to film the delivery.
My in-laws heat their upstate NY home with a wood stove, and they go through about 6-8 cords a winter, depending on how cold it is. Unless this guy has a dry place to store his wood - not too likely for 500 cords - it’s going to be wet and rotten long before he (pretends that he) burns it.
Firewood is what, $200/cord delivered? If I were his supplier, I’d be a bit skeptical of his $100,000 money order.
Here is another nut, Peter Schiff.
…Ever the provocateur, Schiff believes that the president is a socialist who was essentially elected by people who want free things—the perfect bedfellows for a Federal Reserve he argues is bent on debasing the dollar…
“Yes, hello. I’d like a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk and a dozen eggs please. Oh, by the way, can you break a bar of gold? Dubloons will be fine, thank you.”
Later in that thread, he says it is 500 face cords (face cord = 1/3 cord). He also thinks his stash is worth $150k (Around here, a face cord sells for about $20, so he must be in one heck of a high cost area.)
I can’t believe how many people (on FB, message boards, etc) are acting like we’ve been invaded by aliens or something. This election has sent them all swirling off into some sort of frenzied never-never land.
The pricing must be very area specific. Around here, a cord (basically a dump truck load) is between $60 and $90 depending on the type of wood and how seasoned it is. Green wood would be around $40.
For some reason your post plus reminded me of “May I have 10,000 marbles, please?”
You can also buy a grapple load of wood (7-8 cords) and save a bit of money.
500 cords (even face cords)
Sounds like a fire hazard. 
My new favorite response on the FReeper thread:
Also, the list is even funnier if you imagine it being dictated by Dale Gribble.
“How 'bout half a dubloon? Yes, an oon?”
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Check all the cockroaches. They may be government drones. I read about that shit.
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Sever the electricity, water and sewer mains. More socialist bullshit.
While that is way out there…preparing for a disaster is actually a good thing…
We may not face a disaster from the government but one from Mother Nature…and she is bitchier than the government ever will be!
Having a week to a month worth of supplies/medicine and cash and copies of all your important papers just makes good sense. Ask the folks in NY and NJ right now who didn’t prepare for Sandy. Or the people in FL who live where hurricanes are common. Or in Tornado Alley, or on the West Coast where earthquakes can hit.
What would you do if you were without for a few days to a week or more?
Liz
Break out my backpacking gear and act like I was on a vacation. It happens here in the northeast, we’ve had some killer ice storms. No one ever felt the need to avoid the TSA agents.
I avoid TSA agents by driving or taking a train, 
I hate to fly.
Liz