Would Scylla need a Science Advisor?
I wanna be Ambassador to Bulungi.
Interesting. It sounds eerily like the pissed off, sideways-pissant Sherman disclaimer…'If nominated I will not run" etc.
Pending excrutiating and invasive DNA tests, which involve plucking pubic hairs from any federal employee within the hemisphere, we can prudently assume it was Czarcasm. (Generally prone w/ random wiry movements, shameless stroking movements, signficant ::koff, koff:: follicle evidence…)
I’d be HURT at being overlooked for crucial State Dept. assignments, were it not for my carefully nurtured Stealth Hammer guise.
Damn it all, you yowling, drug-addled extroverts, ya think it’s EASY being the drab, blah, “part of the wallpaper” designated pissant? Who do ya think actually makes stuff work? It ain’t Jedi, Spidey or dubious pseudo-oriental chop-sockey posers, bay-bee. It’s bland, water-dripping-on-stone, annoying, persistent twerps who get real work done. [/end self-indulgent hijack]
Not that I’m hinting for a lead State Dept. posting, y’understand.(Festering ingrates!)
Can I be the queen of the USA?
What? There isn’t royalty here?
Ah. Well, exceptions can be made, can they not?
I’ll just be like the queen of England, only lots younger and even less powerful.
Well, look at this. I go on vacation, and come back to find I’ve been called to service.
Hopefully the colonoscopy will go ok and my services won’t be needed for a while, but, who know what depths of degeneracy might be plumbed in that procedure, and who knows what will come out in the end?
If the worst should pass, it’s good to know we have a contingency in place.
[sec’y of Ag hat on]
I subscribe to the theory that if all world leaders had sex with each other and then cuddled afterwards things would be a whole lot better.
So for your first foreign trip might I suggest you visit Jiang Zemin over in China. I bet he has real nice red silk sheets.
Cuddle? Bah! I can’t even get them to call me the next day!
Can I be a Presidential intern? I just bought a new thong!
I have to give Elenfair a job. Is there a Secretary of Secret Police?
The Happy Fun Squad is the Secret Police?
That does explain a lot.
…no, no! I’m happy! I’m happy! Let me go! I swear I’ll stop fretting and smile some more!
Oh boy. I want in on this. Interior, State, NSA–heck. I could do Energy. Yup yup.
Well, we still have to fill the CIA and FBI spots, so I believe TVeblen and Elenfair should fill those spots respectively. . Also, in the interests of mod appeasement, Czarcasm should be made Drug Czar. Any other spots that need to be filled?
Big Kahuna Burger
Intern in charge of plugging holes.
PS Hamlet, we get to be interns together! We can eat ramen together in my efficiency apartment I share with 2 other guys in a moderately bad part of the city!
Dammit, I want to be officially declared Secretary of Underpants! Then I can get down to business on this crucial Long Dong Silver issue.
TO: Grim Beaker
FROM: celestina, Executive Director, DETA
DATE: July 2, 2002
RE: SDMB Cabinet List Correction
I am really upset with you for leaving me out of the cabinet! Anyone who’s anyone knows that I’m the Executive Director of the Department of Extra Terrestrial Affairs (DETA) . True, my Department isn’t as well known and high profile as some of the others, but it is rapidly growing and is essential if Earth is going to get anywhere in this galaxy, let alone in this universe at the very least. I’ll thank you to correct your list of cabinet members accordingly to compensate for this glaring error.
SPOOFIE, SPOOFIE, SPOOFIE… no one get’s to be Secretary of Underpants just by asking. You have to pay your dues… pass the tests… you have to prove that you’re the right one for the job. For instance… <holds up three pairs of underoos, one red, one blue and one yellow> there’s the classic 3-Underpants Monte test.
<starts changing underwear faster then the eye can track>
Ok… so which one am I wearing?
Your missive has been received by my Coffee gnomes. The gnomes are preparing a reply (In President Scylla’s name of course… all hail President Scylla!). Your request will be handled shortly ::shuffles 5 foot high stack of memos in inbox::
Dibs on being the Under Secretary of International Trade!!!
Heck, given my near-obscurity on this board, I’d take the Jucge of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.
If nominated, I will accept.
If elected, I will serve.
If not elected, y’all will pay in ways you can never imagine!
I’m Secretary of State? Wow.
I’m taking bets now for how long until we’re in our first nuclear war. The line is starting at 5 years, 11 gets you 10.
Sam- I’ll take the under…
However, anyone named after a John Prine song is ok in my book.
SPOOFE—You ain’t qualified. We all know that, not only do you run around without underpants, you don’t wear any pants at all! :eek:
Or, at least not in public.
Instead, why don’t you try out for Secretary Of Streaking ?