I’ve been invited to a pretentious cocktail party. While I have some ideas for my entry, I figured I’d poll for others. Results are judged on arbitrary criteria, but will presumably include taste, appearance, and pretentiousness.
Cocktails served on the rocks are ideal, since I can make use of my skills in the manufacture of clear ice. However, all possibilities will be considered.
So, got any favorites? I’m a fan of the Pisco Sour; the egg white gives it a texture that you generally don’t find in alcoholic drinks.
Well it sounds like hell to me but if you are determined to attend…I’d suggest getting some gold leaf flakes and freezing them in your clear ice cubes.
After that…just do a standard cocktail but source every ingredient in an unnecessarily restrictive way and prepare it using unnecessarily arcane practices, the pretentiousness will follow.
You should of course prepare something called a “Golden Trumpet”. The ideal cocktail for these troubled times. The exact ingredients vary but it should of course contain the unnecessary gold mentioned above, contain fake tequila, (very) bitters of some description, sour grape juice, be topped with a whisp of spun sugar and the taste must, of course, be bad.
I remember a drink that a friend made, called a Gilligan’s Island. Problem is I don’t remember ALL the ingredients. Goldschlagger for the Howell’s, Captain Morgan for the Skipper, a cherry in the drink for Mary Ann. But I don’t remember what ingredients represented the Professor or Ginger. You could make something up.
And I think the idea mentioned above, of gold flakes in clear ice, sounds way cool.
Black Pepper Simple Syrup
1/4 cup whole black peppercorns
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 cup water
1 cup granulated sugar
The Peppered Poire Cocktail
1 ounce gin
1/2 ounce Poire William or similar pear-flavored liqueur
1/4 ounce fresh Bartlett pear puree
1/2 ounce black pepper simple syrup
Sparkling wine
There’s a line in The Magic Christian “In the Bernaise, the peppercorns were bruised merely by dropping them.” I’ve been looking for 50 years for a chance to use that line. That’ll pretentious up any beverage.
Pretention factor will be greatly increased I think, Dr Strangelove, if you slow freeze a large block of ice and chip it in front of your pretentious guests. Or clients. Or competitors. Or whatever they are.
Slow freezing stops bubbles forming anywhere but on the top or the sides - so you get a nice, crystal clear block. Gotta agree with Baker - the gold leaf flakes Novelty Bobble suggests is a brilliant idea. It’s also a harder ice, so it won’t dilute your wondrous concoction so quickly.
Personally, I love espresso martinis. If I’m gonna be pissed, I want to stay awake and not miss a moment of my own hilarity. Pretentious coffee, coffee liquor and vodka on gold leaf rocks…served in a brandy balloon. Grandiose, overblown, and great for the massively affected.
Most of those ingredients aren’t expensive (or at least not more expensive than a standard fifth of something), except maybe the yellow chartreuse, which goes for about $55 a bottle here. Creme de violette is a bit difficult to find, but should only run about $30. Good stuff to have around to the stock the bar! The violette can be used also in the classic aviation cocktail.
Also, as far as egg whites go, you’ll find a lot of old timey recipes have egg whites in the cocktail, particularly, sours of any kind.
Even off brands, six to seven liqueurs for a tiny little beverage is still spendy, in my opinion. Use all top shelf brands and it would get truly dear. Plus, it’s not stuff one is likely have on hand, for most people, I think.
Sounds weird to me. I patronize a couple of bars downtown that are proud of their artisanal cocktails. Some produce their own ice, create their own bitters, etc., and pride themselves on stocking obscure liquors. (Although they aren’t above Old Overholt Rye.)
But they aren’t pretentious bars, at all. Well, one got a bit of razzing for creating Jello Shots for the Superbowl crowd. But they were really good jello shots…
True, except for the brandy, grenadine (which is just a syrup, not a liqueur) and possibly creme-de-menthe, most well-stocked bars are not going to have all of that on hand. We happen to have chartreuse, both green and yellow, but that’s because my dad loves chartreuse. At any rate, I wouldn’t buy all that stuff just for one cocktail, but all those make a nice addition to a well-stocked bar and class it up! I’ve been meaning to get a bottle of creme de violette for the longest time now, and keep forgetting about it when I’m at the liquor store. Maybe this’ll inspire me to remember.
If you want to get pretentious, make some cocktail with bitters in it, but make your own bitters and point out at every chance you get the fine ingredients in your cocktail, including the addition of your homemade bitters that you found the recipe in an 18th century cookbook, or some bullshit like that. (And I do have some recipes somewhere from an old cookbook of that vintage for bitters, but it’ll take some time beforehand to make them and sourcing of obscure roots and tree barks and stuff like that. The internet, luckily, makes that pretty easy these days.)
A secret family cookbook! Only known copy in existence! Made by your great-great-really-rather good-chap-great uncle who was head chef to the Queen of Ruritania.
Actually, my dad does have a Polish family recipe for a bitter/liqueur that somewhat resembles either chartreuse or benedictine (but not on a brandy base.) Maybe the OP can barter with me for it or defeat me in a game of skill (or chance) and add to the lore of the cocktail.
Look through this thread. The guy answering the questions and giving the recipes is Toby Maloney, head mixologist at the Violet Hour, a well-known Chicago spot for top-shelf cocktails. The place is a bit hipstery and perhaps pretentious (it’s a “speakeasy,” so you have to know where the “secret” entrance is to get inside), but it is a very welcoming place with reasonably priced cocktails that are delicious. And I’m not really much of a cocktail drinker, preferring my booze in its natural state.
Anyhow, lots of recipes for great cocktails there, with all the exact specs as he gives his bartenders. That’s a great place to look for ideas.
I’ve been meaning to get a bottle of creme de violette for the longest time now, and keep forgetting about it when I’m at the liquor store. Maybe this’ll inspire me to remember.