Back before the days when WWE scripted promos and expected the wrestlers to memorize them on the fly, wrestlers basically just did a line of coke and screamed at the camera for 3 minutes straight. And usually it sounded tough but didn’t make a lot of sense if you stopped to think about it. In the buildup to his match with Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 6, Warrior absolutely knocked it out of the park with this deranged, brooding promo about how he was going to possess HOAKHOGAN, take control of his body, break into the cockpit of the plane he was flying to Wrestlemania on, kill the pilots, and send the plane into a nosedive towards Parts Unknown. I don’t remember seeing this one when I was a kid, but if I did I’m certain it would have absolutely blown me away.
I did not see the infamous Steiner math promo when it happened, but I remember it being talked about the next day and pretty much it was considered as an instant classic. Right before going into a triple threat match with Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle, Steiner proceeds to “break the numbers down.” Explaining precisely why he holds a numerical advantage over his opponents. In that inimitable Scott Steiner way.
Please note: Doctors advise actual mathematicians to avoid direct exposure to the Steiner math promo.
Hulk Hogan’s heel turn, WCW Bash at the Beach 1996
Hulk had been the biggest babyface in wrestling for going on 15 years, and this was absolutely one of the biggest bombs that’s ever been dropped in the world of wrestling. The audience was so pissed that they literally pelted the ring with garbage while Hulk went on about how he’d started to believe his own hype and the audience could kiss his ass.
Mick Foley, “Dewey’s only three, you sick bastards!”
In his book Have a Nice Day, Foley talked about the lengths he went through to make the ECW audience hate him. He proclaimed himself loyal to Eric Bischoff, and cut a promo on what drove him over the edge. He said he saw a fan holding a poster that read “Cane Dewey” and ranted “Dewey’s only three you sick bastards!” He said the fan found him later and apologized for the sign. Foley knew then he truly nailed the promo.
Hulk Hogan’s heel turn, WCW Bash at the Beach, 1996
Mick Foley, “Dewey’s only three, you sick bastards!”, 1995
John Cena & Daniel Bryan, “The Raw hijack”, Monday Night Raw, 2013
This was a main event promo meant to hype the Cena/Orton world title unification match at TLC, and so they got every former world champion they could get their hands on in the ring for the occasion, including Bryan since he’d held the WHC previously. Of course, this was right in the middle of the Yes Movement, audiences were consistently upset that Vince seemed to be trying to bury Bryan and get him out of the main event, and this particular Raw was in Seattle, the closest major city to Bryan’s hometown of Aberdeen. As a result, the audience (including me, as I was in the second row!) were booing and chanting “You both suck!” as Cena and Orton tried to do their promos. Cena called an audible and started interviewing Bryan. Cena asked Bryan if either of his parents were WWE executives or superstars or Hall of Famers, and Bryan responded honestly that no, his dad was a log scaler, which allowed Cena to get the crowd back on his side and contrast how Bryan, like Cena, had earned his spot in WWE, unlike Orton who got there because of who his dad was. It was a great example of Cena’s ability to work a crowd, and it was definitely a major stepping stone toward Bryan ultimately getting to main event at Wrestlemania 30.
Hulk Hogan’s heel turn, WCW Bash at the Beach, 1996
Mick Foley, “Dewey’s only three, you sick bastards!”, 1995
John Cena & Daniel Bryan, “The Raw hijack”, Monday Night Raw, 2013
CM Punk Pipe Bomb Promo, 2011
Dusty Rhodes, “Hard Times”, 1985
The Rock, “Dear God, My name’s Billy…”, Heat 1999
Billy Gunn won King of the Ring 1999. He was probably in the hottest part of his career. The New age outlaws had been red hot for a while. And Rock pretty much killed any chance he may have ever had for a singles push at that time with one promo. I felt bad for Billy, but this was one hell of a verbal takedown.
I’m struggling to come up with good topics off the top of my head at the moment. I invite someone else to start the next list.
Mickie James has two studio albums, Strangers & Angels (2010) and Somebody’s Gonna Pay (2013). Country is not my jam, but hers was the first name I thought when I saw the list.
Pacific Norhtwest wrestler Beauregarde has an awesome piece of early 70’s memorabilia. In 1971, he released an album bearing his stage name, Beauregarde , featuring Greg Sage of Wipers on guitar. Beauregarde enlisted Sage (then 17) after overhearing him playing guitar for a friend’s band at Sound Productions studio in Portland in 1969.[3]