Way back in yonder day – Freshman year, if I recall correctly – I recall seeing a particular poster for sale in the campus bookstore. It was called “The Procrastinators’ Creed.” A quick Google search turned up the following, which has some of the same content (beware, the link has music in the background):
http://www.wtv-zone.com/lovin/pc.html
In my opinion, the most memorable line from the poster (not included in the above link) was: “I will always remember that, no matter how small, the chance that the paper will just do itself is never exactly zero.”
Today, that statement was vindicated in full.
As this semester draws to a close, I still have not written the second paper (out of five) for my philosophy class. In class today, the professor mentioned that she did not have grades for three people for the second paper. She asks each one, in turn, what the deal is. She never mentions my name.
Understandably curious, I go up to her after class and ask what grades she has for me to this point (for the four papers we have so far handed in). She checks her grade book and shows it to me. I can see that, under the column for the second paper, there is a “B” next to my name.
“Three B’s and an A,” she says. “Is that right?”
“. . . Yes.”
Phew. One less thing.
Ethicists’ Aside:
Yes, I know that my shameless deception of my professor was, by most standards, wrong.
No, I’m not entirely comfortable with it.
Yes, I know that the honorable thing to do would be to do the paper and confess.
No, I’m not going to do that.
Yes, I feel bad about it.
Yes, I’ll live with it.
No, you don’t have to raise an objection to my actions here. I already agree with you.