Procrastinators' Creed . . . Yes!!!

Way back in yonder day – Freshman year, if I recall correctly – I recall seeing a particular poster for sale in the campus bookstore. It was called “The Procrastinators’ Creed.” A quick Google search turned up the following, which has some of the same content (beware, the link has music in the background):

In my opinion, the most memorable line from the poster (not included in the above link) was: “I will always remember that, no matter how small, the chance that the paper will just do itself is never exactly zero.”

Today, that statement was vindicated in full.

As this semester draws to a close, I still have not written the second paper (out of five) for my philosophy class. In class today, the professor mentioned that she did not have grades for three people for the second paper. She asks each one, in turn, what the deal is. She never mentions my name.

Understandably curious, I go up to her after class and ask what grades she has for me to this point (for the four papers we have so far handed in). She checks her grade book and shows it to me. I can see that, under the column for the second paper, there is a “B” next to my name.

“Three B’s and an A,” she says. “Is that right?”

“. . . Yes.”

Phew. One less thing.
Ethicists’ Aside:

Yes, I know that my shameless deception of my professor was, by most standards, wrong.

No, I’m not entirely comfortable with it.

Yes, I know that the honorable thing to do would be to do the paper and confess.

No, I’m not going to do that.

Yes, I feel bad about it.

Yes, I’ll live with it.

No, you don’t have to raise an objection to my actions here. I already agree with you.

On a related note … a paper on which I got an A on 13 years ago seems to have disappeared completely from my college transcripts.

You think that’s bad?

I have two semesters of credit for Chem I and Chem II on my highschool transcript with A’s. I never took those classes. I was a teacher’s assistant. I passed out papers and took roll. I found out baout the error when I went back to college a few years ago and they told me I didn’t have to take a Chem class, just a lab-which was an Honor’s class and a blow off, oddly enough.

Did I fess up? Nope. Chem is one of those classes in my core requirements that has no bearing on my major.

No guilt here.

Man, you don’t know how lucky you are. Chem was the only class I took in high school that I got a failing grade on. Just once, and it wasn’t my final grade, but it still stung.

I got a lucky break like that because of Rodney King. I was going to USC which is a couple of blocks from where the riots started. The whole mess started on the dead day between the last day of classes and the first day of finals. The university decided to suspend finals so that the students could get out of the neighborhood. In most cases you just got the grade you had earned so far in the class.

That semester I had signed up for a physiology of psychology class, gone to the first few weeks and taken the first quiz, out of several quizzes, a midterm, a final, and a paper. I got a B, but decided it was too much work at that point. I took an incomplete from the professor, never went back, and planned to take it again the next semester. Thanks to that finals suspension I got the B for the class.

I ended up changing my major to English, so I don’t feel terrible about missing that portion of my education.

I’d curse you all to hell in a handbasket for your luck but I am absolutely exhausted because I got up last night at 1am and pounded out 10 pages this Japanese book and myths (2 papers) to be handed in just a few hours after I finished them. And yet here I am at 12:40 am… HELP ME!!!

I need a guy to walk behind me with a switch and hit me when I’m naughty, which is basically all the time…

sigh, I really gotta sleep pout