Professional driver, closed circuit. Do not atempt.

Factual Questions
1

What is the purpose of the disclaimer printed at the bottom of so many TV commercials? I’m referring to the tiny lettering which momentarily appears at the lower edge of the screen admonishing us impressionable viewers not to attempt these stunts. You know, just in case you too were going jump off a cliff without a parachute. Or you thought, ‘gee what a grand idea it would be to get a group of my pals together in sleek dark-colored sedans for a precision driving routine on ice, at 60 mph.’

It is also clear to me, at least, that anyone who’s going to be tempted to mimic such TV advertising stunts would hardly be able to read, let alone read the fine print.

Could some moron hold a company liable because they failed to warn him (in fleeting print, no less) that only trained professionals should jump canyons on skateboards?

2

It’s the old “Don’t try this at home, kids!” routine. It is MHO that, in general, advertisers don’t concern themselves with consumers’ well-being. Therefore, it is strictly legal protection. While I do not have a reference, it’s conceivable to believe someone has been sued on such grounds.

The old saying could be restated: “There’s a moron born every minute!”

3

A few years back Ford ran an ad that showed pickup trucks grinding and slogging their way through a stream and a forest, nothing spectacular just some tough truck stuff.Any ways John Q. public bought the product and when they tried to run their trucks through the woods guess what? Broken axels, trannies etc. Needless to say they were sued and had to pull the ad. So now they put a disclaimer on everything.

4

Back in the 80’s when Dodge changed the name of their trucks to RAM, they had a series of commercials to show you how togh their trucks were. The first one had a truck climbing a mountain of cinder blocks. The second had the same truck towing a competitors truck up the same hill. The third had the truck towing a competitor’s truck while also carrying another competitor’s truck crossways on its bed. The “do not…” disclaimer was at the bottom of these commercials as well. DUH!

I can see the average schmoe trying to “borrow” two of his friend’s trucks in attempt to try this.

5

This is a “pet peeve” (I hate that expression) of mine. IMO, people are usually not properly trained to operate the things they buy.

A case in point: Several years ago, the Suzuki “Samurai” was called “unsafe” because they roll over. DUH! Off-road-type vehicles were designed to go off-road! The higher ground clearance raises the CG, making them less stable along their longitudinal axis. Hence, you have to slow down when taking a corner. Anyone who’d ever driven a Jeep-type vehicle before the SUV boom hit knew that. (Take a look at the older “Jeeps” vs. the newer ones. The newer ones’ wheels extend a bit outside of the body. The older ones’ wheels generally were flush or inset from the body. The wider wheels improve stability, but limit the narrowness of the trails that can be used.)

When I bought a '48 Willy’s CJ-2A back when I was a “kid” (in the early 80s), a friend advised me of the need to go slow around corners. He also taught me the basics of off-road use. The people who see a commercial and then go out to duplicate the feat need to understand that there are certain operating parameters designed into the machine. The reason the “professional drivers” can do it and they can’t is because the professional driver knows what he’s doing.

Every day, I see people riding in their cars on the freeway. They’re only riding; not driving. They simply happen to be in the left seat. “Left-seat passengers”, I call them. You have to pay attention while you’re driving, especially off-road. When you’re off-road you can’t just be Mr. Toad and take a wild ride. You have to look ahead, assess the trail (you do stay on the trail, “treading lightly”, as it were, don’t you?), plan your reaction to what will happen next, and maintain control of the vehicle.

Whether you’re on the road or off, don’t be distracted. Putting on makeup, shaving, reading the paper, talking on the phone, listening to the radio, changing a CD, eating breakfast, etc. are less important than not hitting the car in front of you. If you need to take evasive action, drop the Super Star with Cheese on the floor. You can clean it up later a lot more cheaply than you can fix bent sheet metal. (OARN: I was taking the flight test for my helicopter license. The examiner was talking and I could see that operating the machine needed my attention. I told him, “Stand by.” He told me later that telling him to shut up and giving my attention to flying the aircraft displayed good judgement.)

Okay. End of rant. They put the disclaimer on the commercials so people who don’t know any better won’t go out and try to drive like a professional without first getting the training or experience.

6

A few years back Ford ran an ad that showed pickup trucks grinding and slogging their way through a stream and a forest, nothing spectacular just some tough truck stuff.Any ways John Q. public bought the product and when they tried to run their trucks through the woods guess what? Broken axels, trannies etc. Needless to say they were sued and had to pull the ad. So now they put a disclaimer on everything.

Reminds me of a series of ads that ran on Oz TV a few years ago for Subaru 4WD wagons and utes (pickups). They were depicted driving around some rugged, forest type terrain and fording a couple of creeks. All very nice until it came time to pack up and go home. Then the producers discovered that they needed REAL 4WD’s such as Toyota Landcruisers and Nissan Patrols to tow the Subarus back to the highway, simply because they weren’t high enough to get out over the bumpy bits.

7

I remember hearing about this. One of the major product-testing companies (Consumer Products?) rated the Suzuki Samurai “unacceptable,” which is the absolute worst rating possible, and is reserved for cars that are simply not safe to drive. The Samurai, and Japanese SUV’s in general, are much narrower than American SUV’s, and roll over easier. In fact, the guy who was going to test the Suzuki Samurai rolled it on the way to the test track! Suzuki sued Consumer Products (or whoever) over the “Unacceptable” rating, because sails of the Samurai sank like an engine block dropped into a lake after that test.

8

I always wondered how Consumer Reports has survived all this time without going bankrupt from lawsuits. You’d think that anyone they gave bad marks to would have reason and cause to sue the daylights out of whoever put a damper on sales. I’m not saying they should. That sentence deserves restating. IF YOU THINK I DON’T LIKE CONSUMER REPORTS OR WHAT THEY STAND FOR YOU DON’T DESERVE TO FIGHT IGNORANCE HERE. I’m just wondering at their survival in our litigious society.

9

Hijack

While reading this I noticed that my ‘Party Cheese’ says

For best results: remove cap.
DUH!

10

Last week, we celebrated Victoria Day (Don’t make fun. A day off work is a day off work) and set off fireworks. Well, I’m sure glad that I read the labels first - “FOR OUTDOOR USE ONLY”. Pheww, I had been planning to invite the neigbours into our living room and putting on quite the display: Basket of Cherries , Silver Comet, Crackling Floral Bouquet,Chrysanthemum Flower…

11

They are a little bit better equipped to handle the pressure than your average hometown NPO – they’ve been at it for, what, 75 years? and have some heavy-hitting allies in the “Public Interest” Law field.

[Anyway most of the companies that do sue, all they accomplish is looking like greedy corporate fat-cat idiots going after the little guy.]

Back to the subject – Obviously that same litigious society requires that people be warned “don’t try this at home”.

Oddly, a really bizarre twist on this has come up in an ad for, of all companies, VOLVO, the reputed safety freaks – which portrays a Dad who drives at high speed in his station wagon from the daughter’s soccer game to the son’s swim meet and back again and again so they can spot him in the sideline at key moments. Now THAT would be something I would not even ** conceive ** of portraying in relation to selling a car.
jrd