Proof that you're a Real Bachelor(tm)

I just discovered a spider building a web among the dirty dishes in my kitchen sink.

Still not gonna wash the dishes today, though.

That’s why I have a female roommate.

The underwear you wore today becomes the napkin you use tonight.

I’m not sure what smells worse: the pile of milk bottles and beer bottles waiting to be taken outside for recycling, the very full trash can, or the pile of old, dirty dishes in the sink. Certainly all three are worse than the huge pile of dirty laundry.


I have a $5000 TV, a coffee table bought for $10 about 11 years ago, two free couches and subscription to Playboy. I qualify.

Nonsense. That’s why God gave us socks. See also Kleenex.

My favorite story is when I found mold growing in a pot that was sitting in the sink. Not so unusual, except that the pot was filled with water. The mold was growing on the scum floating on the top of the water. That was sweet.

I also once knew an apartment full of guys that decided to see how large a ball of pubic hair they could get by sweeping everything on the bathroom floor into the corner, then not throwing it away. After six months or so, they had a nice large handful.

I once cleaned the kitchen at a friend’s house that I could no longer stand the sight of.

This happened last March.
The last time dishes had been done was before thanksgiving. I know, because I recognized the vague scents of turkey and stuffing once some of the older mold was rehydrated. The thanksgiving plates were about 3/4 of the way through the pile, so I would date the stuff on the very bottom as from about 2 weeks before that holiday.

The various people living in the house were locked in an epic struggle, each faction believing that the other was responsible for the dishes. Eventually, there were no clean dishes in the house, everything having been used and deposited on top of the growing pile.

Then they all began to use paper plates, cutlery and plastic party cups.

I spent 2 hours cleaning all of those dishes. I was a major hero in the house afterward for my peacemaking abilities.

I should get a Nobel Prize. Or a Purple Heart. Or something.

I’m surprised you didn’t need a bottle of antibiotics.

I clean regularly, so I miss out on that front, but try this on for size: I own a house that really needs remodeling. Instead I have chosen to spend my extra money for the last three years on: 1. A kayak 2. Boxing lessons and equipment (heavy bag and speed bag in the garage,) 3. really big amps for my bass and electric guitar 4. a motorcycle 5. A tent and a camp stove. (If all of this sounds expensive, keep in mind that all but the motorcycle cost less combined than Omniscient’s TV. My TV’s a peice of junk. Gotta have priorities.)

My yard hasn’t been weeded in a year, when myt ex-GF weeded it. I tell the neighbors “I’m working on a naturalist theme.” The house looks like hell, but the music and the roaring engines sound awesome, so who cares? At least it’s clean.

A friend of mine had a sign on the top of the toilet seat that read “Put the seat BACK UP!”

He also built a wall of empty beer cases (filled with empty bottles) between the living room and dining room. Mind you, this was an 10-13 foot wall, floor to ceiling.

<------- Guilty of throwing away dishes instead of washing them.

Also, my dirty clothes serve a second purpose BEFORE they make it to the hamper.

(Guys, you know what I’m talking about.)

Of course not. You can’t now. And destroy the poor little spider’s web? Now when you have a girl over you can tell her that’s why the dishes are still there. Tell her you named it “Charlotte”.

(Ok, it probably won’t work but it’s worth a shot.)

This thread makes me feel better…

My place recently developed a water leak above my refrigerator. Since I rent, the rental office will come and fix it, but I haven’t called them yet because I figure they’ll throw me out for the mess the place is in. I was going to clean all weekend and call today.

I cleaned some, but ended up playing World of Warcraft and figure I’ll call them next Monday… (Well… I DO intend to) :wink:
And the furniture in my living room consists of a 13" TV (which I very rarely watch) on a table my brother gave me, a computer desk (with associated computer) and a desk chair. Who needs couches and the like?

The line from the wall to my toilet started to leak. I wound up ripping out all the flooring down to the plywood.

I fiddled with it and fiddled and couldn’t get the leak to stop. I didn’t want to take the whole water line apart and replace it that day. I turned the water off and used the toilet in the other bathroom.

That was over a year ago.

Ugh. That’s gross even for a guy.

Your mom wears latex gloves and washes your clothes in the hottest water possible when she does your laundry, right?

There isn’t a dust ruffle, flounce, or antimaccassar anywhere in my house.

Now you know what it’s like to be an archaeologist. Hope you wore a pith helmet whilst doing this.

You lose points for even knowing those words. I think I know what the first one means, but the second two are lost on me.

HA!!! I got you beat… I don’t even know what a antimaccassar is!
:: Pulls up Google::

Damn you Shibb!! :wink:

I don’t actually know what a flounce is either… but I couldn’t even guess what an antimaccassar was…