When I moved out of my last bachelor pad to move in with my wife, she noticed something in the kitchen that I hadn’t seen before:
There was a little hole in the kitchen window, and a couple of vines had grown through the hole and into the kitchen. Like five feet into the kitchen. I had never noticed.
At the risk of spoiling the fun, a true bachelor is NOT just a slob who’s not married.
He’s a guy whose life revolves around dragging women back to his ultra-cool pad. And nothing destroys ultra-coolness like slobness.
The guy with the $5000 TV was off to a good start. But he also needs a fancy bed, mood music computer controlled with teh lights, automatic champagne chiiler, and all the other tools of the fuck-em-and-forget-em trade. A BMW & a trust fund doesn’t hurt either.
He does NOT need piles of unwashed crap in the kitchen or a carpet that makes buzzing noises as it slowly turns from nylon into a biology experiment.
Hugh Hefner in his prime was the ultimate bachelor. Whatever his virtues and vices, slobness was not one of them.
Sign me married now, but 10 years single on my own, good success with the ladies and never, not once, a pile of 2-day old dishes in the sink.
I eat PBJ, probaly twice every day between the three meals. I use the same knife, every time. Its plastic but I don’t want to have to buy another one.
The spiders will migrate if you just move the plates around, but PPJ eliminates the need for plates.
Dirty is a relitive term and jeans don’t get dirty until I can’t scrape them clean.
Where did my frebreze go?
I built my Harley in the middle of my second-story efficiency. Does that count? I also made the stupid mistake of bead blasting the heads, then running them through a cycle in the dishwasher to get the last of the glass beads off/out. This was stupid because the hot water put a fresh layer oxide on the clean fins and made them look like hell.
Also, I didn’t own a bed until after I was married. I first used a sleeping bag, then a couch mattress that a friend had pulled from a dumpster, used for a few years and was going to throw away. I did get a futon at one point when my sister bought a bed. When we bought a house, my wife threw it away and replaced it with a couch.