Ok, this has been disturbing me all day. This morning I was in class and in the row next to me there was a hubbub. A large cockroach, the size of an unshelled pecan, and obviously dazed by exposure to pesticide and summer school body odor, had crawled underneath a girls desk. As she gasps and throws an absolute fit, the “gentleman” behind her kicks the cockroach at an angle toward my feet. Now, my first instinct is to stomp it to death, but - mindful that ladies are present - I give the bug a hard kick away from everyone else, toward the wall. He hits the wall, goes belly up, and stays that way.
And now I am thinking, would it really have been that disgusting to crush the bug right there. Or was it really preferable to footballing it around until the poor thing finally just gets tired and takes a breather. Am I sexist for merely sliding around a roach that I would have stomped in an all male environment? Until I get some sort of answer, I fear that I will have trouble sleeping at night, not knowing if whether I did the right thing.
Apparently this has made me so upset that my grammar is incomprehesnible
Miss no opportunity to kill a roach. A little mess and some hurt feelings are a small price to pay for doing your duty to thin the numbers of these little pests. Stomp away.
You realize, of course, that you can manage to stomp some and others successfully skitter away So, as you stomp’em, you’re aiding in the appraisal of the part of that population that can skitter away for survival versus those who can not, and you are a part of the selection process that will leave us for ever more with the stomp-evasive cockroach.
We thank you for your efforts.
Good point beatle, but in the OP there was just a single roach. If you are outnumbered, call reinforcements or escalate to chemical warfare.
I do wonder if roaches can learn from a “near-death” experience and change their behavior to prevent it from happening again. Anyone know of a study?
I think it depends what class you’re in.
You wouldn’t squash the roach while studying Kafka, surely?
Don’t sweat it, jaimest. You did your duty–you got the offending bug away from the shrieking womenfolk, didn’t you? And the bug expired as a result of your heroic efforts to save your classmates, didn’t it?
You have done well. You are manly. You are…the Exterminator.
Now, go sniff your armpits. You’ll need some strength for tomorrow’s battle. 
Astroboy’s eyes narrow in suspicion
Wait a second… isn’t a cockroach a kind of beetle?
And here we have advice from beatle!
Am I the only one who smells a rat here? What’s this beatle (is that IS his real name) up to?
um… that should be “(IF that IS his real name)”
No Franz Kafka in this class. It’s essentially pre-cal for dummies like me who only can concentrate on math when there are no other classes to worry about.
Mainly I wanted to know if it was “gross” or not to stomp on roaches indoors and in mixed company. But you wont find any cockroach etiquette tips in Emily Post. So I needed to know if there were standards.
Stomping or roaches is always gross. I think what you’re looking for is “is stomping on roaches indoors and in mixed company socially acceptible?”
To that, I have no answer. I stomp the little bastards at every given opportunity. Maybe that’s why no one ever invites me anywhere…
Stomp, stomp, stomp… worth extra guy points if anything liquidy shoot out and hits someone else (although I have found this works better with grasshoppers than roaches).
As long as you got it away and dead it’s alright. Last time my science teacher turned the lights off during class, my lab partner shrieked, the lights came back on and there was a roach skittering across the table.
Enter stage right manly man, Chris. He very nicely jumps up from his chair onto his table, across to our table while taking off his shoe and smooshes the roach with said shoe. Very nice, very effective and much to the appreciation of womenfolk at our table. Only person not quite appreciative of roach smooshing was the (male) science teacher. His advice “Get the bug off the table before you kill it”
Kitty
Went down to the kitchen after Mr. Rilch retired for the night. Saw a spider about the size of a quarter (if you count the legs) scuttering towards me. Gasped and put a cup over him. Left a note saying “There’s a spider under that cup [arrow]” so Mr. Rilch doesn’t either step on the cup and break something (on himself; to devil with the cup) or remove it and let our guest run free.
I would rather compromise with an insect or arachnid than do battle with it. As little as I like them when they’re healthy, I cannot deal with them when they’re…broken. Ullllghhh!
Yep, squashing roaches is definitely the most efficient way to deal with them.
FWIW, though, it used to be fun to perpetrate, um, interspecies performance art by catching a few of the little buggers, painting them with a selection of magic markers, and turning them loose again.
Until they expired from the marker fumes–or the trauma of capture, or whatever it was that actually croaked them–they looked pretty festive scurrying around all multicoloured.
Markers probably aren’t as entertainingly toxic now as they used to be, though.
Cool idea, boomvark. Stickers or glue and glitter might be interesting also. Maybe make a NASCAR roach. The only problem is it requires me to touch the roach with something other than the bottom of my boot or a heavy object.
http://www.whatsgoingon.com/100things/cockroach/page2.html
we Aussies have been doing cockie racing for years. I actually went to the inaugural Story Bridge Cockroach races all those many years ago…
And the judges say…BRA-A-A-AAP!! oh, I’m sorry, that’s an incorrect answer. The most efficient way to deal with roaches is to use insecticide dust in the wall voids, gel bait in the cracks and crevices and perimeter spraying with a liquid residual mixed with an insect growth regulator. Bait stations and monitoring devices are optional, but often very useful. But we’ve got some lovely parting gifts for you, including the home version of our game. Thanks for being a great contestant.
Hmmmph. Persephone, I’ll be generous and assume that you momentarily forgot that I’m the official Straight Dope Message Board Hired Killer.
By the way, I seriously doubt that the act of playing hackey sack with a cockroach is what done him in. He was probably more than halfway gone by the time he was noticed. Otherwise he would have scuttled away like all good, normal, healthy roaches do.
jaimest said:
What wussy part of the world are you from if you think pecan sized is large?
The other night I killed one a good 3 inches from nose to ass, armed with nothing but a fireplace shovel (my weapon of choice for hand to roach combat).
Pecan sized. Wimp.
Proper Cockroach Etiquette is to destroy the bastards on sight with extreme prejudice and malice aforethought. Everyone, even those who go “Ewwwwwwwwwwww Ish” will be happy that you did, unless you are among entomologists or the “all creatures have a right to live” types. Kicking one around where it could hit the girls is on par with eating one to exterminate it. (Doesn’t help ya get any luvin).
As a sidenote I once, being of curious mind, chucked a big one into the microwave and let him rip for 2 minutes. He ran around the whole time and then stopped. When I opened the door, the bastard ran out at mach 4. About 6 months later, the building was going through annual extermination and I got to talking with one of the “bug assassins” and he mentioned that they had found some strains of roaches that they couldn’t identify. I always wonder if I had anything to do with that.
Anyway, roaches are nasty. Gross as they are when smushed, they are more disgusting when given the opportunity to again sample your pizza while you sleep.