If anyone was missing the entire population of a medium sized South American country last night they were all at the Wallyworld on Jackson road in McAllen, Texas.
No matter how much you weigh the solution to your fashion dilemma is to buy clothes that are several sizes too small, painted on clothing that accentuates your huge ass and your rolls is ALWAYS a good idea, remember the clothes (not just pants) should fit so tightly as to restrict movement.
Superlow pants look great on ANYONE, the human ass is supposed to resemble a Football.
Sandals have a minimum sole thickness of 3", heels MUST be of the spiked variety and MUST be at least 5" (because the whole point is to further restrict your movement).
When investigating a product for possible purchase ALWAYS turn your cart in such a way that it blocks as much access as possible, this is your sworn duty.
When a spontaneous family reunion breaks out DO NOT move it out of the aisle, the rest of the world is glad to wait on you to finish swapping muffin recipes.
Whew!, I feel better!, I know it was my own damn fault for shopping at Wallyworld in the first place (particularly on a Sunday night).