Proposed Straight Dope Guidelines

The BBQ Pit
#1

These are informal guidelines, not rules. Some rules are included in this list, however, for reference purposes.

  1. The core mission of the SDMB is to fight ignorance and make wisecracks. (Entertaining wisecracks, that is.) Users are not obliged to pursue both practices. They should, however, strive to master at least one of them.

  2. Spreading ignorance contravenes the board’s core mission and is frowned upon.

  3. Usenet acronyms and certain behavioral patterns peculiar to the SDMB are perfectly acceptable. (Hi Opal!).

  4. Irony, at times, is used as a tool to advance the core mission, partly by sharpening the critical facilities of the unwary reader.

  5. Do not post to GQ or GD unless you believe you have something to say.

  6. It is best not to start more than one thread per day.

  7. But it is also best not to start another thread within one devoted to a different (albeit related) topic.

  8. Strive to learn the distinction between “brief side-point” and “contentious hijack”.

  9. Guideline #7 overrides guideline #6.

  10. Many circumstances override guideline #6. But not all circumstances.

  11. If you post a thread or a question, be prepared to moderate it. At the same time, don’t feel obliged to make a content-less response. (Whether a brief “thank-you” is called for is a matter of controversy.)

  12. Do not be a jerk.

  13. Do not be a jerk. However, spirited debate is acceptable in the proper forums. Do not be a jerk.

  14. You can attack ideas in GD. You cannot, however, directly attack a poster in GD.

  15. Personality issues should be taken to the pit.

  16. The scope for acceptable personal attacks on a poster within the pit is not boundless.

  17. The moderator is your friend.

  18. The moderator is your god.

  19. Do not mess with the moderator.

  20. Do not be a jerk.

  21. If the system freezes, do not hit “submit” again. In all likelihood, you will double-post. Fight your gut inclinations.

  22. Composing a post in Word is encouraged.

  23. Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors are acceptable, though they make you look like an idiot.

  24. Preview is your friend.

Comments, additions and haiku are welcome, as appropriate.

#2

Burnt offerings accepted after midnight.

#3

#25. Pay attention to Fenris. Ignore poseurs like Scylla, Rue de Day, Crunchy Frog, SPOOFE and others. All hail Fenris!

#4

Hmmm. I don’t seem to be able to read any names there 'cept Fenris. wonder what he said.

(I love my basement corner office w/a window :smiley: )

#5
  1. There is no rule 26.

Esprix

#6

oooooooooooo

Rue is gonna kick yo ass when he reads this. :wink:
-BNB, who knows where her bread is buttered.

oh and rule 23-B:

Harping on spelling and grammar is obnoxious, too. Keep it to a minimum. This is a simple message board and not a doctoral thesis.

#7

Or, by sharpening the critical faculties of the unwary writer.

#8

The above statement does not, of itself, override Guideline #6.

#9
  1. Have no more than 5 rules.
#10

Is too!

Wanker!

:stuck_out_tongue:

#11

The 28th rule of the Straight Dope is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE STRAIGHT DOPE!

The 29th rule of the Straight Dope is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE STRAIGHT DOPE!

Someone had to do it.

#12

Corollary to #25: Humor him. Fenris cries a lot when people tell him that he’s not funny.

#13

Drive-bys, although not strictly required, are strongly encouraged.

#14

[sub](Um, you do know that was a Monty Python joke, right?)[/sub]

Esprix

#15

Amendment:

  1. Do not post to GQ or GD unless you actually havesomething to say.

Corollary: When posting in GQ or GD, READ THE DAMN THREAD BEFORE POSTING ANYTHING IN IT.

#16

so, Fenris

no more lyrics?

snicker, snicker, snicker…

you want attention? admiration? EARN IT!

#17

#30. Newbies exist for the entertainment of seasoned veterans. Abuse at will.

Addendum: The term newbie will henceforth refer to a Doper (or Dopers) whose post count is greater than or equal to the number forty.

#18
  1. (Reserved)
#19

I’m going to address one of my personal peeves here; READ THE WHOLE DAMN THREAD IN ANY FORUM BEFORE POSTING TO IT! Addressing an issue that has already been addressed because you can’t be bothered to read the whole thread (and if you don’t like to read, what the h-e-double hockey sticks are you doing on a message board?) is tedious and ignorant.

Oh yeah, gratuitous swearing in the Pit is just dumb. Just cause you can doesn’t mean you have to. Stupid fucks.

#20

Please define “jerk.” I’ve seen the word bandied about even in the BP, usually as a way to describe anyone who doesn’t agree with the poster, and often followed up with the veiled or even open threat that the “jerk” will be banned (this rarely by someone who has the authority to do so). But since personal vituperation is practically invited in the Pit, I would think anything short of suggesting someone’s mother sucks donkey dicks should just be ignored. GD is another matter, of course. There everybody who disagrees with me is a jerk. :smiley: Really, where’s the line? Can one admin decide, or does it take a committee?

**

A was called a jerk
because B did not like his
argument too much.

“Jerk” (when paired with "off)
is something that gives pleasure.
What is wrong with that?

Mods and admins are
undeniably fine folks
who are always right.

:smiley: