I’m carrying a lot of tension in my neck, doc, could you give me a rub with your free hand? Yeah, that’s nice. Oh, you have two free hands…? :eek:
After my big prostate exam, the one in the radiology department with the machinery, probes, balloon—yes, they inflate a balloon up there*—and the machine that goes ping!, and they had pulled out all the goodies and I was in my first attempt to make myself verticle, I said “Boy, I sure could use a cigarette.”
“Why? Do you smoke?” they replied.
Man, they could at least pretend to be amused.
*No matter how nicely one asks, they will not make balloon animals up there. Except for gerbils, of course.
Aw, geeze, I just saw that post for the first time. I was thoroughly nonplussed.
[quote=Quadgop the Mercotan]
Now in this age of defensive medicine…
Heh, the joke is on you: in my towship we’ve got an experienced ER doctor who’s gone into the land-development business. I’ve asked him if, after having a few years experience in the land business, whether he finds medicine to really be so unusually litigious. He was speechless for a moment, and then said, in exasperation, “No! No, I had no idea.” (Or something to that effect.)
Another part of my ambivalence about screening everybody is that a lot–a LOT–of men avoid going to the doctor entirely because they know they’re likely to get a finger shoved up their asses. That means they’re not getting treatment for their blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, etc. It also means they’re not even discussing the symptoms to look for that might make a PSA and a DRE a good idea.
If there were a clear benefit, I’d be leading the chorus telling them to get the hell over it. But with no evidence for such a benefit, I can’t help but think that we’re keeping a lot of men away from the doctor for what might be no good reason.
In my second year of medical school they showed us a really horrible 70s-era video on the prostate exam. For our annual Lampoons, we got the video (which took some work, and no small amount of deception) and added dialogue and a live score by the UK College of Medicine Porno-Funk Ensemble. (That would be me, a bass player, and a drum machine.) Unfortunately, everybody else chickened out at the last minute, so very few saw the piece.
Some years ago, back when I was still in private practice, a man in his late 50’s came in with a complaint that sounded suspicious for prostate trouble. As we discussed risk factors for various diseases, he informed me that he was gay. No big deal. We get thru the history and move towards the exam.
I inform him that I really need to check his prostate. I start my usual spiel, telling him that I’ll make the exam as brief and as painless as possible. His reply?
“oh doc, I’m such an old queen I won’t even feel you back there!”
