So, I had my first prostate exam today

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Paper and pencil not necessary. No Mazoots, this is what they call a ‘digital’ exam–and we’re not talking I-Pod stuff here.

Oh the horrors of getting old. I put off the physical partially because i knew this was coming. Almost escaped too, but with the holiday i figured what the hell. looks good so far, 102/72, need to lose about 5 pounds. Towards the end he’s looking at the chart and says “oh, you’re over 40 now right? We have to do a prostate exam.” His enthusiasm was not shared by me. The smile was out of place. He reaches for the rubber gloves.

“umm, yeah I guess so.” Rats!

So, got up, dropped them, bend over and…Point the toes in?? I didn’t ask. Just agree and hope it will be over with quickly!

[edited for the young, and partially because I’m doing my darndest to block it out of my mind]

Well, so far so…Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! :eek:

Farther and farther and farther…Hurry up in there! I’m now high enough up on my toes to qualify for your better ballet schools. What seems like 10 minutes later…

“OK, that’s it. Everything looks good.” Looks?? You were looking in there? How wide did you…I didn’t ask again.

He hands me the box of kleenex, “You might want to clean up down there.” Huh?? I thought I wiped pretty good that morning, evidently he didn’t agree with that. I attempt to pull the underpants up and he repeats the suggestion. So I reluctantly grab a peice and make a swoop or two. Oh my. He was right. It’s clear though. Where was that hiding? I guess he did get up there a bit. Now i know why doctors make so much money.

I get dressed, sit back down. I guess I ‘passed’. I feel like I’m going to vomit.

Some may use that orifice in both directions, and if they do, more power to them. Nope, not this guy. I think I’ll keep that a 1-way street-exit only, except for once every two years.

I’m not sure why i had to share this, but one of the words in this tile is ‘Stuff I must SHARE’… I know prostate cancer is a killer. But a different way of doing this wouldn’t be frowned upon by this writer…

2

bleeech

hunts for ‘vomit’ smiley

Makes me EVER so grateful I’ve got that extra X chromosome in there.

3

giggle! I don’t have to worry about this for a good 22 years.

Colon cancer runs in my family, though. :frowning: Think about it this way… you’re lucky that they only have to go as deep as the prostate.

4

Ouch! Well, as I recently turned 40 myself, I suppose this “experience” awaits me as well. Actually, I’ve sorta been putting off going to the doctor.

In a totally unrelated hijack, This thread has absolutely nothing to do with prostate exams, despite the title. :slight_smile:

5

Fun, ain’t it?

Be glad you don’t currently have an enlarged prostate. That once every two years experience will become every 3-6 months And no, it doesn’t get any less uncomfortable with practice.

6

Very strange. This thread has been viewed less than 10 times, while the virginity one scored over a thousand.

7

Be extra glad your prostate wasn’t infected. I had my infected prostate examined once and as a result have since viewed the prospect of global nuclear annihilation with considerable philosophical detachment.

8

When I was in the service, my job required that I have an annual and very thorough physical exam. I’m not certain at what age exactly they were included, but I do recall I was getting yearly prostate exams as early as the late 80s, I being in my late 20s then. Possibly that’s looked on as overkill now (and not then), or it could have been an example of military bureaucracy invading even the medical field. I do think that Time does little to diminish the indignity of the act, at least as involuntarily practiced in a medical environment.

9

pssst…
(The clear stuff wasn’t from you silly.
That’s what he used on his glove to get up there.)

Does make you feel quite violated doesn’t it. I think the expression on my face afterwards looked like raising your eyebrows as high as you can, then squint at the same time.

10

I had it done last year for the first time. You’d think that, as a gay man, it wouldn’t be such a big deal for me, but I’ll tell you, doctors have a lot to learn about being gentle down there.

11

Couldn’t resist this

Heh, heh, heh :eek:

12

That doesn’t necessarily matter. I had a gyno exam that involved both orifices being “checked digitally” at the same time - and then she pushed down with her other hand on my uterus to palpate it better, too. Lovely.

13

They’re not that bad. Just don’t get one from a gay proctologist with no hands.

14

One of the reasons I like my doctor is that a couple of years ago during a physical he said,

“OK, you’re late 30’s and have no family history that would make a prostrate exam necessary so we don’t have to do it.”

Whistlepig: “Damn, that makes ME happy.”

Doctor: “Me too.”

Maybe this spring (when a prostrate exam is likely because of my age) I’ll tell him the joke about, “Wait, read the card!”

Whistlepig

15

I am just getting over a case of Prostatitis. The exam WAS uncomfortable, but I’d say not being able to pee (at all) was much, much worse. I was seriously considering catheterizing myself somehow… :eek:

Thank Og for antibiotics.

16

I’m over 40 too, which seems to override coming from a large extended family in which no one has ever died of cancer of any form. Interesting that gobear found it, uh, uncomfortable too. At least my doctor and my nurse practitioner are women. Smaller fingers, if nothing else.

What I want to know is, how the heck did anyone “discover” that the male erogenous zone is up in that locale?

And who needed the money badly enough to be a test subject?

17

Heh heh. Wait 'til you get your first colonoscopy.

18

Having had annual girl-part checks, plus the ever-delightful mammogram, plus a colonoscopy, may I just offer that they’re all less intolerable if you can relax and detach yourself mentally. Considering the potential alternatives, momentary discomfort is a small bother.

My appointment is next week. Yeah, I’m excited…

19

thanks for the cartoon Clothahump. I can’t jump, otherwise…

Yea, it was clear…I thought he just …well, you know. So it must have been that jar I thought i saw him grab for in the bottom drawer. Well, better than not using it i guess.

Not looking forward to any of those other things. I think i can imagine what those are though. But it beats the alternative I guess.

20

I went into the ER because I had a pain in my side.The doctor wanted to make sure I didn’t have a hernia and said he had to do a rectal exam. I told him that I wasn’t too happy but that he had to do what he had to do.

So there I was…lying on the exam table in a room with some guy’s fingers up my butt when the nurse walked in. I had rolled over onto the nurse call button. Not one of my prouder moments.

And DAMN, if he didn’t have the looongest fingers.