Oi! Get your finger outta me bum!

I hate going to the doctor. There’s always the chance they’ll find something wrong.

Worse, they have this fetish for fondling people’s prostates. I hate that part. I always feel so… violated. (Maybe he was getting back at me for my little prank when he came into the room.)

But hey, once he faxes some numbers to the insurance company, I can collect my $100 Amazon gift certificate.

See, that’s one good thing about having a female GP, slender fingers. Plus, she apparently knows to use one other than her ring finger.

My dad went for his physicals to a doctor who apparently had large fingers. One year, after his physical, he returned to the office the following day and presented the doctor with a loose two-inch notebook ring. The doctor asked what it was for. Dad told him, ‘After what you did to me yesterday, I figured we were engaged!’

Well, whadja do? Obviously not something bad enough to get a foot to the arse, but something bad enough that he got you back a bit.

Wah wah wah - prostate exams… :stuck_out_tongue: Come back when you’re on the table with your feet in stirrups as the doctor comes toward you with a stainless steel duck-billed implement - annually.

Big babies!! :stuck_out_tongue:

Oh, yeah, and they also do the finger-in-the-bum thing at the same time.

Of course. The index finger is for putting up your bum. The ring finger is for putting a ring on, so that you won’t take the former as an invitation to ask her out on a date.

Hardly anything. I was behind the door, reading his diplomas. He knocked and opened the door immediately, and I hit the door with my head and said, ‘Ow!’ Then I said, 'Just kidding! :smiley:

At least he didn’t have DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS!

(Old Dopers will remember that one)

Never mind that. Call me when you have a baby – which, for reference is pushing something the size of a small watermelon out of your sensitive bits. :eek:

(I haven’t done it either, but by gum I had to worry about it for years.)

I never get why men so frequently complain about prostate exams here. While there’s certainly nothing to look forward to, it isn’t really painful or uncomfortable in my experience. I think I’ve posted before, it’s a lot less uncomfortable than a normal dental appointment, and over a lot faster too.

Or pulling your bottom lip over your head. (Carol Burnett)

I wasn’t going to play the baby card - that’s too easy. Plus it doesn’t typically come with the frequency of the annual exam. Unless you’re a Duggar, I guess…

Any connection between this & why so many girls do duck lips in selfies?

I sense an ig-noble award for a researcher who can prove a connection.

:confused: Why do doctors finger women’s asses during an exam?

Because it’s uncomfortable, and because something is going the wrong way.

I could take a nap at the dentist’s office.

That’s not his finger. :wink:

Because if there wasn’t an exam going on they’d get sued?

I concur. And any guy complaining about the prostate exam in a mixed-gender group (such as this) is just asking for the women to laugh at him, given what they have to put up with. (Though I’m curious as well about why their exam includes the finger up the ass, given that women don’t have prostates.)

As has been explained to me, it’s just another way to feel the ovaries and uterus and, I assume, check for lumps or growths that shouldn’t be there.

I’ve just now gotten to the age where prostate exams are recommended. Can’t say I’m a big fan of them (“violated” is exACTly how I feel afterwards) but I guess I can’t argue with the women posting stuff about gyno exams and giving birth. Yeah, okay - we guys have it relatively easy in that regard.

No. Just, no.

I put things in my mouth every day. I’m used to it. I try to avoid putting things in my ass.