Men, a question about a DRE.

This could go in GQ, but too silly and/or mundane.

Those of you who have had a DRE (Digital Rectal Exam) of the prostate, did you ever notice which, er, digit the doctor used? I’m always bent over and looking the other way.

Inquiring mind wants to know.

I believe she used her index finger. Yes, “she”.

She was also apparently about sixteen, and somewhere around eleven months pregnant, when I first found out what a Muppet feels like.

The first time should be magical, don’;t you think?


No, I know a few guys who ***REALLY ***know what a Muppet feels like.

And I’ve always thought that the doctor should use the middle finger, since it’s the longest. With some guys the index finger might not reach.

As long as they’re using a finger you’re in good shape.

Shouldn’t this be a poll?

(pause for shrieks of laughter)

But seriously folks…

Only had one DRE and I didn’t know it was going to happen when I went in for a routine checkup - my doctor said something like “Well you are almost 40 so you should start having these exams, we’ll do your first one now. Turn around and drop your drawers.”

I have no idea which finger he used. I would assume it’s the index finger in most cases - pinky, ring and thumb aren’t as dextrous and there’d be something a little offputting about having to flip the bird up a man’s rectum, no?

I could never tell for sure, I always assumed the index finger, but I definitely could tell the difference when one year one doctor (unfortunately he didn’t stay around that practice for very long) had very warm hands and very long fingers. I could actually fell him pressing the prostate, which no-one else has ever been able to do in that position.

Speaking of positions, my current doc seems to prefer to have me lay on my side, rather than standing up and bending over. I don’t know why, because then he has to pry open the cheeks to find the prize. I think the whole process makes him a bit uncomfortable, which is funny, because I get a distinct gay vibe from him.

I’m only going on at such length because my annual physical was today.

I’ve never noticed and never bothered to ask. As long as he stops at one finger, I’m cool.

Oh, and obligatory Fletch reference.

He probably had a guy fall over one time.

I want to say the middle finger.

I’m not sure, he had both hands on my shoulders.

I wish I had become a proctologist, then I would only have to deal with one asshole at a time.

I’ve told this before, but…

My dad went for his flight physical, which included a DRE. The next day he went back to the doctor and presented him with a one-inch diameter notebook ring.

The doctor said, ‘What’s this for?’

Dad told him, ‘After what you did to me yesterday, I thought we were engaged!’


Man, thanks for reminding me that my physical is coming up in May.

Option A: My male Doctor with huge hands and is kind of a sadistic bastard.

Option B: Cute female PA with tiny hands but with the potential of causing me an unwanted woody. :frowning:

In medical school, when we were taught to do the DRE, we were told either index or middle finger, whichever was easier for us. Just as noted above, middle finger is longer, index more dextrous, so use the one you prefer, cause you’re the one who has to interpret the information. As I recall, most people went with the index finger.

Sounds like Option B all the way dude.

I just did my first DRE a couple of weeks ago, and I used my index finger. The most awkward part is doing the 360 degree turn because you have to bend your wrist and elbow and everything in very uncomfortable positions. Ah well, it was still better than the bimanual I had to perform on the female patient.

:smack: I’ve just remembered it was a two-inch ring, which implies the doctor’s fingers were bigger.

Oh, well.

Jake Johannsen said “a proctologist telling you that you may experience discomfort is akin to tellin someone in the path of a tsunami that they may experience moisture”.

I don’t see how Option B is bad. She’s a professional, I’m sure she knows not to take anything personally. Stuff happens.

Do you still need them? I thought blood tests did much the same thing.

One of the guys at work used to swear you needed them but I think he enjoyed them.