I was nervous as hell as I walked in to see my doctor. I had never been to a urologist before. I waited the usual 30 odd minutes in a small waiting room. As I waited I noticed it was filled with KY jelly and tissues. “Uh Oh” I thought.
The urologist came in and immediately told me to first face him and drop my pants and shorts. At that moment if he had put on a Johnny Mathis record I would have bolted out the door. But instead he grabbed me by the balls and had me turn my head and cough.
Then he had me turn around and grab the table in front of me. I braced for the inevitable. As he crammed his finger into my rectum and reached my prostate gland I screamed “oh ya baby!”
No not really. Instead, I dribbled pee pee down the front of my whities and tried to keep my knees from buckling. :eek:
It was not my most shining moment.
Thankfully it was over as quickly as it had begun.
As I pulled up my pants over my shaking legs and KY soaked butt hole he explained to me that I had prostatitus. A condition only cured by 6 weeks of antibiotics followed by yet another DRE. ( That’s doctor talk for digital rectal exam).
I am not looking forward to the followup visit I can tell you.
Well there you have it. My first visit to the urologist. Another milestone in the exciting life of aha. Hope you all enjoyed!
Having endured over 20 years of pelvic and rectal exams, plus a recent colonoscopy, and the annual-since-age-40 mammograms, may I just say “Welcome to the world of unpleasant medical procedures!”
Your official “I’m an Old Fart” membership card and club lapel pin will be in the mail.
Oooh. Prostatitis. Oww. I feel for you, man. Nothing worse than walking around like you’ve just had a swift kick to the happy boy place all day, every day.
I’ve had it twice, and that’s twice too many. The first time, the doctor was convinced I had some sort of STD, even though it had been 4 years since I’d had unprotected sex, and we’d both been tested.
So first I got a boy swab, and then I got a DRE. Neither is in my top ten of “favourite doctor visits.”
Good for you for having it checked out, aha. My father just had his prostate removed 2 days ago.
Cancer.
I hope you never get there, but if you make sure to be checked regularly, you’ve got a better shot at beating that evil disease. And if you remain healthy, then no harm no foul, right?
Although one could argue whether a Johnny Mathis record would be worse, or better.
