PSA: Please Don't Fire Guns at the Drive-In Movie

This isn’t really a Pit thread, as the effects on me were minimal. At the drive-in last night, a bit into 21 Jump Street, we heard a couple bangs that we thought were dumb kids with firecrackers. At least we did until the cops showed up and started investigating. They didn’t stop the movie during the investigation. Turns out it was some idiot with a 0.410 bore shotgun a few cars down in the same row. Police: man uses shotgun at Malta Drive-In

Now, look, I’ve gotten annoyed plenty of times with idiots at the drive-in, but somehow my response has never been to pull out a baby shotgun and fire away.

Drive in? 21 Jump Street? Cool. Can I try out your wormhole?

Just move to the Capital District of New York. There’s about five drive-in movies within about an hour’s drive. Almost all have two or more screens.

I’m now imagining one of those old and scratchy announcements shown on the screen before the movie starts, with tremulous audio, and accompanied by happy cartoon characters. An obvious hold-over from the 1960s.

It would tell you where the exits are and how to operate your speaker, direct you to throw out your trash in the marked receptacles, and of course, ask you to please refrain from discharging any and all firearms during the film, except in the event of an actual emergency.

“And please stop by our concession stand for any of these delicious refreshments. Enjoy the show!”

I have to admit, there are times when I’d have pulled out my handgun in certain theaters…

I also have to admit that I wonder how much alcohol was involved here.

Would it be OK if I used a silencer? I try to be considerate of others.

So now in addition to the “Please don’t text or talk during the movie” announcements they have to add “Please don’t open fire!”

Somebody ought to put up a sign…