Already did:
Hang on. I’ll see if Justin Bieber or Celine Dion are free.
I’ll figure something out after I use my serviette to clean up the poutine that I spilled on my chesterfield.
Oops! 25 minutes. That is one long song.
The internets make me want turkey today. Damn you, internets!
INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! DESTROY THE INTRUDERS!
Actually I’m not eating turkey today, we’re having steak!
The vinegar that you use on your fries might help with that.
I think you misspelled ‘chips’ up there.
- God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen:
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us:
God save the Queen. *
Bryan Adams might also be free if you can’t get the Biebs or Celine. 
You guys are mean - if we’re giving them all of this the least we can do is toss in “free” healthcare.
Nickelback responds to NFL petition. (NSFW for language.)
Sorry, we can’t give them free healthcare; they wouldn’t know what to do with it, it would get all broken and messed up…
If we take their guns and give them free healthcare, why, they’ll be just like us!
I knew it!
All Cancukaidians are Pod People!!
Ron Paul was right!
For once.
Flee!
The furriners are coming? 'Kay. Come on in and watch some real football.
Flee? But where is everyone going? Took forever to get here since 3G was down and of course I can’t sneak in on the work computer…
Hey now, the CFL may be full of NFL rejects, but it still counts as real football!
/blah blah blah Andy Fantuz.
I’ve head people say that CFL football is better than NFL football. Just sayin’. 
The confluence of two great American traditions: Thanksgiving turkey and liability lawsuits.
Not this one! Because of familial obligations, the** CatKid and CatSIL** are going to be here tomorrow.
I am planning to spend the remainder of the day drinking and eating chicken tacos, so don’t feel I’m in your way.
Take it all, just promise to start with Bachmann and Gingrich.