SURPRISE!
Cake is on the left, birthday presents are on the right, and spankings are anywhere you want them to be.
Well let’s get this party started! Where’s the mashed potatoes? 
(The cake is a lie)
Still a better choice than death though.
Awwww…you guys are so sweet! And I’m not really supposed to have cake, so the lie is okay…my boss gave me a bottle of wine for my birthday. Does anyone have glasses?
And…spankings? OOh, my…
Great. My doctor says drinking the whole bottle of wine is not a good idea. He’s such a spoilsport.
He’s just saying that 'cause he’s jealous and want you to share your wine. Tell him he can have a spanking instead.
Not yet, but I have an appointment to see my optometrist next week.
In the meantime, pass that bottle.
No cake? Would you like some home-made ice cream? It’s blueberry-lavender flavour. 
OOOh…I adore blueberries (have 6 bushes in the backyard) and I just bought lavender to plant this year! And I bake lavender madeleines! How ever did you know? Recipe?
Kensington Organic Ice Cream in Toronto carries it, and inspired me.
What’s a madeleine? Sounds French and yummy.