[QUOTE=NajaNivea]
Thanks for all the helpful comments, I really appreciate it.
FRDE, I’m not pissed, and not sure where that interpretation came about. I guess I just feel like I shouldn’t be so overwhelmed by the stuff I’ve got on my plate. It is a huge work load I’ve amassed for myself, but there are plenty of times I just can’t make myself do the things I need to do, even when it’s something good and enjoyable. And I never really know what the line is between overwork and being busy, or making myself take time to relax and being lazy.
And I also shouldn’t feel like death would be easier or that killing myself is an option. I’m not seriously suicidal, but I do think about it rather a lot, and that seems symptomatic of a problem. I’d like to rid myself of compulsive behavior as well.
I’m 25 and in a very, very good marriage. I’m not sure WTF the “Glove Puppeting” comment was supposed to mean, but I guess Frank did, so there you are.
[/QUOTE]
Sorry about that, my mistake, understandable - but a mistake - no offence was meant.
In my view there are two reasons for ‘depression’:
- Irrational depression as nothing is really wrong
- Rational depression - because one has something to be depressed about
In your case it sounds as if you have a pile on your plate, and just thinking about it is painful. That sounds perfectly rational to me.
I’ve been in the same position a number of times, taking on more than I could comfortably handle. The worst time was when I was filling four positions on an organization chart - I quit a very good job, and the relief was greater than a really good dump (was it Hobbes who described that as one of life’s major pleasures ?).
Can you find a way of decreasing the work load ?
I doubt if a psychologist (understanding normal people) or a psychiatrist (understanding abnormal people) would help much with handling your workload, well not unless they’ve been in the same position themselves.
I am very wary of psychiatrists, psychologists and MDs who think that they are either or both. Getting persuaded (railroaded) into taking anti-depressants to counteract ‘real’ problems is very unpleasant, it may work for irrational depression, but Prozac is not much good at curing a six inch nail through a foot.
I’ve a friend with bad work problems and very bad wife problems, helpfully his GP put him on Prozac - real smart !
My inclination is that you need to find someone, or people, who have been through similar problems - and managed to dig themselves out of the hole.
The compulsive behaviour problems are, or it sounds like were, symptoms of another problem - but like most symptoms they can become problems in their own right.
My view is that stability is like a three legged stool, if your home life is good, your work life is good and your social life is good - then you have it made.
With a bit of juggling, you can balance with just two legs on the stool, it is a lot harder if the stool only has one leg, and if that gets eaten by termites then one is hosed. Fortunately it is clear that at least one leg of yours is solid - that is good news.
My advice is to lighten your work load, also to set up a regime where you have time off and do something you enjoy. That is all very helpful, but not very practical as what I think you need is advice on how to lighten your work load.
Anyway, it sounds to me as if you are ‘oppressed’ rather than ‘depressed’, and most people would be in the same situation. I’m running through people I know/knew who have been in the same position - it is getting pretty long.
Most rabbits get paralized if they get caught in the headlights of a car, it is not because they are stupid, it is because they are physically blinded by the glare.
Good Luck in finding people who can advize you how to get your work load down to a manageable size - and keep it there.
Incidentally in British English ‘pissed off’ means ‘rationally depressed’, as in ‘I am pissed off with my cat using the bath as its litter tray’.
Apologies again for my error.
