APB posted:
Yet another fraudulent claim! All Dopers are certainly endowed with the knowledge that Satan’s mailing address is Raleigh! 
So thanks to Satan, we’re all well-endowed, Poly?
“The Astral Leeches” would be a great name for a band.
Dr. J
Who are you, Dave Barry?
As far as telling you how to turn yourself invisible, I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I didn’t realize that the procedure takes up 18 pages of this silly book. I can, however, let you in on the underlying theory:
Brennan starts out with a brief lesson in optics, saying, correctly, that we don’t really see things, we see the light that is reflected off them. If you could somehow make light pass through objects, they would be as invisible as clean air. However, this is not how you make yourself invisible.
He also states that some people, due to their colorless personalities, tend not to be noticed. They leave no impression, their presence does not register. And such people also seem to choose drab clothing, either deliberately or unconsciously. And they tend not to move much, probably trying to avoid attention, again, either deliberately or unconsciously. But Brennan is not recommending you to become a wallflower Here’s what you need to do to attain true invisibility:
You have to shut off the “transmitter” in your mind that broadcasts thought waves. He says we are all telepathic to some degree, that we can all both send and receive thoughts. Shut off those thoughts, and you will be invisible even to those who are looking right at you. If a person does not sense you with both his astral senses and his physical senses, you will be invisible to him.
And then he spends thirteen pages telling you how to do that. You need all sorts of props, furnishings, clothing, all arranged in precise places:
There are more props and furnishings than that, but you get the idea. After you’ve set up your room, you face east and make an incredibly long chant in Enochian:
That’s just the first line. The rest of the chant takes up most of one page. This is the English translation:
In case you don’t realize it from that one line, he’s using the Qabalah, which is something only vaguely familiar to me. It’s Jewish magic, I think. (I don’t mean to offend anyone here; I’m almost totally ignorant about the Qabalah. If I’m wrong, correct me.)
In a later invocation, the name “YHVH Elohim” is used, which he pronounces as “Yod-heh-vav-heh El-o-eem.” That’s right, he’s telling you to ask the Lord God Almighty to make you invisible.
So will someone please tell me how Christians got the idea that all magicians are Satan-worshippers? At no time in this book does he instruct anyone to invoke Satan to perform magic. Is that what is meant by “black” magic, asking Satan instead of God? And “white” magic is asking for God to work for you? And could anti-Semitism be a little bit responsible here? If the Qabalah is from Jewish tradition, and if hateful, prejudiced Christians (distinguished from the loving, unprejudiced Christians; I know you’re out there) hate Jews, could that explain their hatred and fear of ALL magicians and sorcerors and witches and Wiccans? (I know Qabalists did/do not worship Satan. I’m saying blinded-by-hate Christians lumped ALL magicians together in one, easy-to-hate group because they reminded them of Qabalists and couldn’t make the distinction.)
I started wanting to ridicule this guy and ended up being genuinely curious how it all got started. How about that.
>< DARWIN >
__L___L
Johnny Angel wrote:
By no coincidence whatsoever, “Hoodoo” was also the name of the magic-wielding bad guy in Lidsville, a Sid & Marty Kroft live-action kids show from the early 1970s featuring people dressed up as giant hats.
“Hoodoo” was played by Charles Nelson Riley.
Phouka, I wish I was in Dallas right now. It’s about 30 degrees outside. But, no, I’m in Cincinati, OH aka the cultural mecca of the United States.
I’m relieved to hear, though, that all the good people of Dallas will be able to get fit and trim…overnight! just like us Cincinnatians. It would be rude of us to hoard our Metabo-now.
There’s a stand selling that Metabo-life stuff here at the local mall. “Lose 25 pounds-Guaranteed!” claims the sign. I went up and asked the guy if he seriously believed that stuff would cause me to lose 25% of my total weight.
He waffled. Said the stuff was supposed to help people shed extra pounds, not to cause people of normal, healthy body weight to drop down into the anorexia range. I pointed out that that’s not what his sign claims. It says 25 pounds. It doesn’t say anything about where you’re starting from. That sounds like false advertising to me, and a lawsuit just waiting to happen.
I like the fact that when I heard that stuff advertised on the radio (by a DJ shill), he always notes, almost under his breath, that you take the pills along with accompanying changes in diet and exercise.
Hmmmm. You don’t think the diet and exercise might have anything to do with the weight loss, do you? Nahhh. Couldn’t be.
Okay, I think this thread has run its course and I’m going to return that book today. BTW, that book on time travel I mentioned above in the OP is also here at the library. In it, Brennan claims that people have somehow time traveled into the past and left their footprints next to dinosaur tracks. I guess he’s claiming they used the astral plane somehow.
“I’m leeeaving, on an astral plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again…”
Would you believe that book is in the Science and Technology department?!?! Its Dewey Decimal number is 529 B 838. All science and tech books are assigned a 500 number.
>< DARWIN >
__L___L
The problem is that publishers usually decide where to categorize their books – at least for bookstores. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that it’s the same with libraries. Otherwise I’d go to work part time for the library and reclassify a lot of stuff that claims to be “non-fiction” as the more appropriate “fiction” or “fantasy.” 
I’m curious, Dave-- Where would you put The Bible? I’d put it under Ancient Literature. In fact, I’d put ALL religious works there. But you know what a God-less atheist I am.
>< DARWIN >
__L___L
In the New York Public Libraries, The Dewey Decimal number for Magick for Beginners is 133.43 B. Which is for witchcraft (or astrology). When I asked the guy at the help desk how the numbers are assigned, he said the numbers have been around a long time and he was surprised that the book had different numbers, but he did not know how the numbers were assigned.
There are 10 copies of the book at the various branch libraries in New York.
Virtually yours,
DrMatrix
These words are mine and they are true - Chief Meninock
Sorry about the mix-up, Doc. The book I mentioned that was from Sci. & Tech. was the Time Travel book, and not Magick for Beginners. And Brennan explains Time Travel in a magical way, using the astral plane. I didn’t notice the DDN for Magick. The Magick book was simply lying on the floor near an elevator, almost as if it was waiting to be picked up… [begin theme from Twilight Zone]
>< DARWIN >
__L___L
Speaking of call numbers…
I work at a library, and a few things were pointed out to me when I first started. These are the ones I can remember off the top of my head:
Books on snakes fall under QL 666~
The Bible falls under BS
Behavioral studies fall under BF, as in Skinner
If anyone has a list of these amusing coincidences, I’d love to see it.
That cataloguer ought to be ashamed of itself. They probably just read the title and assumed the book was about science. Point it out; it should be reclassified into the 133’s. There are usually Dewey and LC numbers in the Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data on the inside left page at the beginning of most books. But they aren’t set in stone; cataloguers can assign any number they think is appropriate.
Johnny Angel: Sounds like your library uses the Library of Congress numbering system, rather than the Dewey Decimal numbering system.
Personally, I prefer ISBN.
Tracer:
Smack! I knew that. =) The question is, how many more funny coincidences can be found?