We believe the majority of posters to this board are reasonably well-adjusted and interested in the opinions and interests of others, but, as in any society, some can be viewed as eccentric, and a few, by any measure, are downright cranks. But where does one draw the line between eccentricity and crankiness? A few suggested guidelines follow.
You may be a crank if:
You post solely to Great Debates or the Pit, rigorously refusing to say anything at all about your life, where you are located or what other interests you may have, because that would be off-message
The majority of threads you launch are on the themes of “Behold the bottomless evil of (insert favorite political, cultural or religious whipping boy)…”. “Help! My (insert favorite pseudo-science or irrational belief) is being suppressed!” or “Gasp in awe over my inscrutable cleverness at drawing out the legions of hypocrits on this board.”
You feel compelled to include the phrase “Hi Opal!” in any list you post
Your OPs tend to be either 500-word screeds with no paragraph breaks, or a lengthy cut ‘n’ paste with your sole original contribution being some variation of “See what shocking perfidy I’ve just exposed?”
At least half the time, the first two responses to your lovingly hand-crafted (or sloppily C ‘n’ P’d) OP are “What?”
In a thread that elicits more than 100 responses, less than five actually agree with any single point you’ve made
At any point, a post of yours receives the response “I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.”
Your most frequent rebuttal to an opposing argument consists of telling the other poster he or she should learn how to read
Your second most frequent rebuttal to an opposing argument is to accuse the other poster of “groupthink”
Your primary contributions to any threads launched by others are to helpfully point out that only a complete retard would think that
You have been Pitted and/or your username has appeared in a post that begins “[Moderator Hat On]” twice or more in any given month.
If you recognize one or two of these warning signs in the threads to which you post, there is no cause for alarm and no immediate action is necessary. If you habitually recognize three or four, however, a brief vacation from posting may be in order. If you find your threads regularly contain five or more of these signs, or if they persist for more than two weeks, seek immediate attention. No, not here; that’s what got you into this situation in the first place. We mean get assistance from someone who can help you find a more constructive hobby. At the very least, go try to interact with the physical world for a while, or get a dog, or something. Thank you.
Corollary 9b. You constantly feel the need to anticipate disagreement with your posted views, using expressions such as “I know you’re all going to disagree with this…”, or “I don’t expect you to understand this, but…”
Hi. By the way, the word “less” in OP#6 should have been “fewer.” So much for *your * OP.
Another sign: Your third most frequent rebuttal to another poster is to correct an irrelevant and insignificant mistake in grammar, spelling or diction, and make a couple yourself in the process.
If you’re convinced that moderators are out to get you personally, that’s usually a sign of crankdom.
Of course, if the moderators * are * out to get you personally, that doesn’t mean you’re not a crank.
Only a complete idiot would ask for a cite on something so incredibly obvious.
Of course, since this isn’t the pit, you aren’t a complete idiot. You’re actually a warm, wonderful person who loves baby ducks sings Neil Diamond songs to the poor folks in the nursing home when you take them (the folks, not the ducks) homemade soup on Sundays.
Nonetheless, you must have been channeling the spirit of a complete idiot or you wouldn’t have asked for a cite because everybody knows that it’s true.
You might be a Crank in danger of being banned if, when some one makes fun of you, you do an exhaustive search, find her/his name and phone number. Call them late at night to tell them off. When they hang up on you, pit them…twice…using their name and location.
Say b’bye
(Yes, I made fun, hurt some feelings, then got a call to tell me what a bad person I was for being snarky) :rolleyes:
First, I’ll ask a mod to move this to Great Debates, where a discussion this high-level rightfully belongs.
Second, I’ll post numerous threads with half-baked examples of things that are “incredibly obvious.”
Then I’ll reply to my own posts and quote Fox News.
Then when a mod warns me, I’ll go to the Pit.
Finally I’ll be banned, come back and try to post under a new name, get banned again, sue the SDMB and the Reader and Ed Zotti (not that Ed had anything to do with it, but I’ll be on a roll by then.)
Eventually old-timers on the board will say “Remember Kunilou ? He was one of the class of 1999. Posted thousands of times. Never caused a problem. Then he just snapped, and got himself banned. What a crank!”
