I found this article from a link on another discussion board, and was wondering what the people of the SD thought.
Mom tries public shame on homework-shirking son
Do you agree with this method of parenting (i.e, public shaming) ? Do you think the police were right to get involved ? Should the Department of Social Services get involved ?
Opinions, please, both for and against.
Don’t think the police or social services had any right to get involved. Course, I don’t like social services as a rule (social workers especially).
I don’t know that I agree with public shaming, on the other hand when you’ve tried everything else and are starting to get desperate I can see where this woman would have thought this was a good idea.
I don’t have kids, but I can’t imagine ever doing this with one. There must be many other techniques she could have tried without resorting to this. I don’t see how shame and humiliation are good for a kid, especially when inflicted in public. I wouldn’t blame him if he grew up hating his mom.
It depends. Does he do his homework now?
(I read that a couple days ago, I actually thought it was a clever punishment. I suppose it’s good that I don’t have children.)
That’s horrible. Simple as that.
Also, it’s a seperate thread, obviously, but I’m curious about why you hate social services and social workers, silentgoldfish. Maybe someday I’ll make the effort and create a thread in IMHO or GD. Maybe.
It was extraordinarily cruel. There are plenty of other ways to convince a child to do his or her homework - revoking privleges, etc. Or maybe the child just needs a little extra help.
I really feel sorry for the kid. This incident is probably going to follow him all the way through high school.
A child learns the wrong things through humiliation. Maybe he does his homework but he will have that memory all of his life.
If nothing else will get him to do his homework, a more appropriate action would be for the parent to tell him ahead of time that if he doesn’t do his homework, then the parent will begin sitting in on his classes to see how he is progressing. Be prepared to follow through. No kid on earth wants that. The embarrassment would be limited but pointed.
She got him stand on the corner wearing that stupid sign but she can’t make him do his homework? 
Eh…Nothing wrong with that. After two years, one would imagine they had already tried everything else, including gasp corporal punishment.
I would like to know if he is doing his homework now.
I don’t think it’s as horrible as you people are making it out to be. This, of course, with the stipulation that the parents had tried and exhausted other avenues to alleviate the problem first. Its not like your average teenager won’t do something 10 times more embarrassing (to them) on their own 3 days a week. If this kind of thing scars you for life, you are a pansy. Would you rather the boy grow up to be a fry cook at McDonalds? The burning and jumping oil will scar you for life.
[sub]Not that not doing your homework will relegate you to menial labor for life, but it will certainly help you on your way to that end.[/sub]
I’m also curious to see if the boy is doing his homework now.
My wife and I do something similar with our kids, though not so public. We put thier report cards on the fridge with the grades highlighted. Guests tend to see it immediately, especially family members. The kids were terribly embarrassed, but it worked wonders. They couldn’t stand the idea that everyone knoew they were getting bad grades. My son, especially, hated it, because his friends (most of whom are straight-A students) would poke fun at him. We still put them on the fridge, but they’re not as embarrassing as they used to be.
Hey, welby1 thanks for the great idea. I’ve had a similar problem with my own son shirking off homework and was just readying the sandwich boards when I read your reply (I’m kidding here, of course!) While I can sympathize with the woman’s frustration level, I think the street corner thing was a little extreme–but the report cards on the fridge I like! I’ll be posting them when they come in November 1!
Obviously that mother is a real Athole.
Nothing rude here, just observing the dateline on the story 
My stepmother made me wear gloves to school one day in 2nd or 3rd grade to try to get me to stop biting my nails. I had to take a note to the teacher, too.
It wasn’t until I got braces that I stopped.
She also didn’t want me to write on myself (at the time, which was maybe 3rd grade, it was a bit of a fad to do stuff like that). I thought I’d fool her by writing someplace she couldn’t see (like my belly), but she managed to see it, and told me that if I ever did anything like that again, she’d take a big magic marker, draw a bullseye on my face, and make me go to school like that.
Because of the gloves incident, and the fact I was rather gullible, I thought she was dead serious. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized she would never have done that.
She’s lightened up in the past 15 years, too.
I think that’s an awful thing for that mom to do. I imagine that boy will remember the humiliation of that day for the rest of his life. I doubt the humiliation will turn him into a confident, straight-A student that is successful in his life. I’m sure his mom will have similar solutions when he becomes a sullen high schooler.
Although I think it’s important to do homework, I think it’s more important that a child grow up being happy and self-confident. Given the choice, I would rather my child become a happy fry cook at Smiley Burger than a miserable magazine marketer.
I don’t disagree with what she did, but its also something I would not have tried. There has to be better ways then that, and I am assuming she tried them first.
The article doesn’t really give enough information.
It mentions that the child has a two year history of underachieving (which I define in this instance as not doing required work) and that the mother has undertaken efforts to attempt to correct this.
Speaking from personal parental experience, some especially hard-headed children will adapt rather than capitulate. I’m not going to say public humiliation is the right route, but just how does a parent correct a perpetually recalcitrant child?
I think you’d have to agree that wearing gloves is much more mild than plastering a humiliating sign on a middle school kid at a busy intersection. I think the kid should have tossed the sign aside and walked away (not for good, mind you, but from the specific situation). I sure as hell would’ve.
As for the OP, I think the time should have been used for homework. :: D&R ::
Oh god, what a bitch. If that were my mother, I’d be in for years of therapy. It’s just…sick. Also that she was just sitting there in the van with other kids, staring. I mean, what are you supposed to say to someone a few hours later after they’ve put you through that…“So, Ma, when’s dinner gonna be ready…so about putting me through hell on earth this afternoon, how’s that working on for you?”
I think Welby’s refigerator posting is a much better solution, but for some reason, my mind keeps going, “it couldn’t be that completely horrible, and besides, maybe he’ll have learned his lesson.” Parents sometimes have strange ways to take care of problems, and since I’m not a parent yet, I don’t know what I would do.