While I was in elementary school I was in a jock school system. We’re talking a school district so devoted to sports that students who didn’t want to play recess games of kickball or softball were harassed, not just by other students but by the teachers as well. If the taunts had been on the basis of get some exercise, it’s good for you, I’d be willing to forgive 'em, but even from the effing teachers it was a case ‘Don’t be a loser, come play.’ And of course if one flubbed a play guess who was first with the criticism?
So I know just how humiliating it can be to be a non-jock in a jock school system.
Because of that, and some other problems, my parents chose to get me out of the public school system for junior high school on. I was given a choice of four schools that I could go to, and it was my choice, which in retrospect is astonishing. Not so much for my parents to have given me that choice, but that they trusted me to make that choice. I’m embarrassed to admit that the two major factors that made up my mind for me were that the school I chose had the best food, and one of the more relaxed dress codes. (I did NOT want to go to a catholic school that required a jacket and tie every day.)
However, Fenn, the school I chose, did have one major drawback, in my opinion. Every student was required, each and every season, to go out for one of the school’s sports teams. And Fenn had a tradition of being a very competitive and winning athletic school. I was not looking forward to that, but all the schools I had a choice of were going to be expecting some kind of effort on my part for sports, so I really didn’t feel it was much of a choice.
So, lo and behold I showed up for the first day of school, nervous and dreading the after school practice for football. (Yes, I was given a choice of three sports there, too - Football, soccer or track. Anyone who knows me knows that track was right out. Soccer I’d had too many negative experiences with, it was the sport of choice in the school system I’d just left. So, in spite of all the horror stories about football and football parents football it was.) I can’t say I enjoyed the practice. I’m not athletic and never have, nor never will be. But it wasn’t the Hell I was expecting either. Upperclassmen helped me learn to do proper stretches; the practice was just that, a practice to help build skills, not a joust where those whose skills or abilities were sub par were mocked.
I don’t know when I started to enjoy football. It may not have been til the next year, even. But I came to like playing, and more than that, I loved playing with the team I was playing with. My classmates didn’t expect me to be a superman on the field. As long as each of us gave our all, we were accepted for doing our best. I’ve heard people since, say that you can’t have a winning tradition without the coaches being jerks and assholes, a la the Bobby Knight model. It’s pure bunk. Our school never got into that. I know from personal experience.
For winter season I went for wrestling, and I loved it. Mind you as a wrestler, I stunk on toast. I used to have a perfect record, even - all pins. For the other teams. But I was a member of the team, and a valued one, too. And when I managed to get good enough to keep from getting pinned straight out, I got great cheers from my teammates and the families that came to watch our matches. The day I finally won a match, the gym shook from the cheering. And in spite of my handing 6 points to the other team every match we had, our team still won most of the matches we went to. The other teams at the school were also very good, usually winning most of their games as well. I can’t recall records after 20 years, but I know that much.
So, I can see the truth to a lot of the arguments for school sports. They can help build community and self-respect among students. They can teach students how to be part of a larger whole. But, that’s not what happens automatically.
What I want to point out, is that the attitude that a school takes vis-a-vis their sports is at least as important as the number or breadth being offered. If this school offers more of what you and your child want - try it.
