Published Dopers: help me with a query letter

I have finally finished a story. ( A smutty, sex filled romp filled with guns, terrorists and bad jokes.)

Now I need to send in a query letter. My book I have has no examples and I will do a web search, but you folks here are my first choice over the library. Insane, huh?

If any dopers have any suggestions on how to write something that comes off intelligent, yet witty, I would appreciate it.