I’ve c&p’d this from an email to a friend.
Between my Econoline deciding to need a new water pump, radiator,
muffler and other bits in the last few weeks, leaving me trapped at
home without a ride,(This happens on the eve of us bying a new-to-us
Suburban. My faithful Ford becomes a heartless backstabber. Wah.) I
have been sick since Sunday like I’ve never been sick before.
We were up in Traverse City for a baptism of a friends baby on Sunday.
I had woken up Sunday with a blocked, ringing ear. I had not been
swimming, to a concert, shooting off fireworks or howitzers in the last
day or so and I had not been recently sick. I’ve never had a waxy
build up on anything: ears or furniture.
By 11am ish, I was feeling wonky, by 12, I was getting on the sled to go
downhill for the rest of the afternoon. Our two friends are doctors
and asked me a few questions and pretty much within moments of asking
if I felt nauseaus, dizzy or do I feel like I have diaherra ( sp?) I
felt all of them coming on. Our friends took the kids, my husband
walked me out to the car, as I was feeling dizzy and had balance
issues, where I got to baptize a church parking lot with my breakfast
of a Taco Salad I had eaten at a Meijer’s Cafe. (too bad, it was pretty
good too. Can I get my money back?)
Drove the 100 yards to the clinic across the street, where *Things Went
From Bad To Worse. * I get a room, where I have no balance, no
equilibrium, my stomach hates me and every time I throw up into a
microscopically small kidney shaped gack dish, I hear the dreaded
sounds of a wet raspberry issuing from my backside. *Dear God, not on
my new dress! The bill hasn’t even come in from the credit card company
yet…is there no justice? *
I somehow make it to a bathroom where my loving husband gave me one of
those step on the step to lift the lid medical trash cans for me to
hurl in as I evacuated from the other end. I ended up using too much
paper towel to do clean up down there and stopping up a commercial
grade toilet that started rising as I was sitting on it. Mr. Ujest said he
couldn’t beleive how fast I moved, and how I clung to the wall for
balance as he tried to find the shut off valve( there isn’t one) or a
plunger ( none.) and he ends up sticking his head out the door to put
the nurses into a frenzy that must have looked like a DEFCON 5 Scramble
the Fighter Jets-Meet Keystone Cops moment while my posterior was
exposed like a roll of film.
Yeah, good times.
The only way to explain what my vision was like was to imagine taking
your eyeballs out and putting them into a tin can and swirling them
rapidly. If I moved my head a teeny tiny bit, my balance was something
akin to when you are about to fall asleep and jerk yourself
awake…with every motion. Childbirth was easier and more comfortable
and I was far more coherent.
Got a couple of shots, bunch of Rx’s and departed after nearly 4 hours
of the most miserable experience of my life, not feeling any better.
Diagnosed with Labrynitis, which is a middle ear problem/infection.
Picked up the kids, drove home ( I wanted too, rather than hotel it or,
worse, stay at a friends house and puke or–eeek–poo all over
everything there.) and made the drive down without any problems other
than not moving my head for hours. ( The kids were great, btw.)
Monday, I still couldn’t keep anything down and went to our local clinic where our regular doctor is at and saw him on Monday afternoon. I
was diagnosed again with Labrynthitis, given more shots in the Flabius
Maximus, more pills and sent home to feel crappy. The only highlight
was I wasn’t puking every time I sat up or moved. Yay for
suppositories!
I slept all day Tuesday ( My mom came up to watch the kids while
I slept. It’s pure comedy to listen to a 78 year old women who raised 5
kids be totally outmanuevered by a 6 and 4 year old. The dog works against her too.)
Wednesday I moved around a bit and set up a base camp on the couch, As the kids were at my mother in laws, was bored silly with TV and couldn’t sleep.
However, I could walk without using a death grip on the furniture to keep my balance.
Thursday, the balance is still off, but the appetite is returning and one of the shots on Monday to my hip must have gotten to a nerve somehow through all the flab and I limp everywhere. All I need is a walker, elastic perma-press pants up to my boobs, over-permed white hair and Aristotle Onansis glasses and I’m
ready for the early bird special at Denny’s after saving 10% on Senior
Day on a bad hair cut from El Cheapy Crappy Cuts.
My hearing has been blocked since Sunday morning and by Thursday,
after a visit to a Ear, Nose & Throat guy, discovered that I do not have
Labrynthitis ( which is hard to spell and like being trapped in your
head.) and I had no fluid in my ear at all.(It’s all in my tits and
waist, but apparently those don’t cause dizziness, just crabbiness, and
normal for a woman after 15 years of age.) So, I have an audio test to
find that I have 55 % hearing loss in my right ear right now with near
constant ringing. Hello, nobody home.
I am having an MRI tonight to figure out what
exactly is going on in my head, which will determine if something is
pressing on an audiotory nerve or if, in fact, there is anything inside
the nutshell at all. I’m not worried, really. I’m on so many
medications right now that the third arm I’ve grown out of my back from
the contraindications is the one I use to pat my head softly in
comfort.
Mr. Ujest has been the perfect nurse, thankfully, not in a short skirt, outy mouth and dithering look. He gives me my pills when I need them and to help around
the house he mows the lawn and washes the new-to-us truck that I cannot
drive because I am too dizzy. * But.It.Needed.To.Be.Washed.* Male logic.
In fairness, he did 5 loads of laundry (not putting them away.) and is
expecting his Congressional Medal of Honor in the mail any day now. The
kids are great with coming in to leave me their 23rd favorite stuffed
animal (you mom’s know the one, the kind you win in the Claw Game) to
give me comfort while filching my crackers or drinking my sprite. The
weasels.
So, I am home alone, with a trip to Germany to possibly pack for or
cancel, laundry to put away and stuff to do that never goes away, and I
can’t really do any of them because it makes me woozier than these
things usually do. ( Housework is greatly over-rated.) Thankfully, the
dog and I are on the same napping schedules.
In closing of this rambling, I thought that since your life is a
disaster ( admit, it is.) you might like to have news of someone else having a worse week than you.
Have a great weekend.
Avoiding the Tilt-a-whirl,
Shirley
I’m sending get-better-soon wishes your way. Let us know what they find out from your MRI.