I just read the “definition” of pumpernickel bread and how it came to be named. I too, have always thought that it came from Napoleon’s comment about the “black bread” he encountered when invading Russsia, and that he gave it to his horse Nico to try and if it didn’t kill the horse, it was OK for his men to eat (“Bon por Nico”). Whether it is actually from the German “pumpern” or to fart, I don’t know, but I was raised on the bread and it is not only delicious, but it doesn’t cause gas (if properly made) 
. It is a common bread found in delicatessens (literally means “delicate eating”), it is NOT indigestible!! So there. I have defended my childhood memory, and I think I’ll stick with the Napoleon story. It is soooo much more interesting…
Welcome to the SDMB, EvilGenius. We have a forum specifically for comments on Staff Reports. I’ll move this there.
Moved from IMHO to CoSR.
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mpumpernickel.html
Pumperkickel reminds me of an old (and pretty bad) joke.
A guy is suffering from impotence, and he hears that pumperkickel will help cure it. He goes to a bakery and orders half a dozen loaves. The baker knows that that amount of bread will go stale before it can all be consumed, so he says ‘It’ll get pretty hard,’ To which the man replied, ‘Give me a dozen loaves!’
Well, you made me do it. 
I just sent to the OED the earliest cite for “pumpernickel/pompernickel” in English. 1740. The German Spy: Or, Familiar Letters from a Gentleman on His Travels Thro ... - Google Books
And the story is there about a Frenchman and his horse. The bread was only fit for his horse named “Nicholas.”
So, keep dreaming about Napoleon. Sweet dreams.
Whatever the origin, it’s mighty good eatin’ 
I could prattle on about things that are delicious on it, but it’s better you find out for yourself.In some recipes, the dark color comes from strong coffee, but sometimes, it’s cocoa.
So you are saying that the horse story has a long history, and regardless of whether it represents the true German etymology, can’t be dismissed out of hand as an origin, contrary to the opinion of Snopes and the OED, as reported by Ken?
Cool, now it’s a venerable horseshit etymology. Beautiful.
I wonder whether the sort of thing Samclem did would be a task that could be done by those distributed computing projects. It would obviously need the OED to run it. Perhaps it would need Google’s cooperation too.
I’m quite amazed. Usually when someone posts here with their preferred etymology, and especially when they end with “I’m sticking to my version”, it’s utter, contemptible bilge. But this time, it looks like the horsey version has at least quite an extensive history. Most unusual.
The impression I’ve gotten is that the name of the bread , “pumpernickel”, comes from German for “Goblin Fart”, and that it got that name because it was the dark peasant bread, and that “Goblin Fart” was the upper-class slang for the peasants. It’s not that the bread causes flatulence – it’s that the upper-crust (Har!) and middle class purchasers of the bread were “slumming it” by buying a sort of likeable peasant “black bread” and calling it by the slang tetm for those bottom-dwellers. Kinda like “Hobo Stew”, only if we had a nasty slang word for Hobos.
My comment was only to suggest that the possible etymythology goes back quite a ways.
But, no, I doubt that the word “pumpernickel/pompernickel” was “invented” by some French guy travelling through Westphalia. But it shows the story was imbedded by that time.
I’m sure that the derivations from individual German slang terms are the most likely, but we’ll never likely be able to prove the origin of the word.
Sorta, but not really.
Sam, that is a hilarious book! What I love about this place is the reading tips.
Uh, what is it about the Germans and their bowels? Sure, a good fart joke is appreciated the world 'round, but I swear every last German joke, pun, or amusing place name I’ve ever encountered had something to do with gas, defecation, or bottoms/butts/asses/arses. I mean, even my grandfather’s name was “Heinie.”
I don’t know, but it’s something I’ve seen too. Martin Luther seemed obsessed by it, but I think that’s more a function of his being German rather than an individual affectation. The Dutch seem to share this to some degree as well.
More like “**if only ** we had a nasty slang word for Hobos” because that we don’t is a major cause of sadness in my life.
Good find samclem!
The German Spy Or, Familiar Letters from a Gentleman on his Travels thro’ Germany, to His Friend in England (Thomas Lediard, 1740)
says this about pumpernickel bread:
I’m sure the school-master of the village would have ventured to explain, had our author asked him, that a well-bodied pumpernickel bread was said to contain the “whole nine yards” from the threshing Floor. 
What’s especially peculiar about that find, is that the author was clearly trying to insult the Germans, and presumably invented that etymology in order to do so… But the (apparently) true etymology, had he but known, is even more insulting.
This pumpernickel talk is muy enlightening, especially since I’m about to try a round of baking the bread.
To the quote at hand: travelling, and eating, in Germany was the most gassy experience I’ve ever had. The combination of beer, sausage, pickled cabbage, and whatever else, perhaps some pumpernickel, just made for constant gustatory “Berg und Tal Fahrt”, excuse me. So, if it’s all around ya, night as well have a Har Har tradition of dealing with it.
This news story didn’t rouse the theological interest among my Lutheran congregation that I expected. Gives a new perspective to “religious movement,” though.