For parents needing help here that have tried talking, educating, implementing trash cans, or saying no eating in room, --maybe because of the constant finding of hidden foodstuff, wrappers and odd regions of wrapper stashing, you’ve said no phone, computer or TV time until you dig through all drawers, closet, under bed, under
pillows and bedframe and throw out the many wrappers to no avail. And, if nothing is working to stop this, the hiding, the lies about cleaning-up, but more and more stashing, no matter what you do,
I’d consider a therapist with motivational coaching skills. Someone that can get to the root-cause of said stashing food wrappers.
Some tweens/teens that have been bullied, shamed, or solicited sexually online or in the teens environment °may° be indicative of some sort of trauma. Perhaps said teen isn’t comfortable or even knowing how to communicate about something with parents.
Please let me know how all has turned out and wish you the very best navigating here.
Communication is key, trust in communication is key,
Hah! I saw this thread title and thought “Hey, I remember my kid having an issue with that” then saw that this was my old thread. Note to anyone thinking about posting advice: You’re 11 years too late.
I also don’t remember the details to any resolution. He got a trash can, we probably got frustrated sometimes, etc. No deep underlying motivations that I know of aside from laziness. Pretty sure it never got as bad as it was the time to provoke the OP. Coincidentally, I have another kid the same age now but he never shared the same trash pile tendencies.
I’m glad I decided to skip to the end of the thread before composing my response. I missed that Jopiel’s kid was now an adult with zombie trash.
Sigh I’m going through this now. As long as Vaderling cleans his room every week and doesn’t leave dishes in there and the door opens and closes properly, I’ve chosen to not fight this battle any longer.
It sounds like it is more than just “teenage stupidity”. It suggests he is a hoarder. Hoarding can present itself in surprisingly different ways. My uncle told me about a friend of his who was hoarding change in his car. He had so many coins in the drink trays between the two front seats that, unless he stepped on the gas slowly, it would flow like a river onto the floor of the back seat. Hoarding can be controlled, however, and he managed to control his after the situation was pointed out to him.
My casual understanding is that hoarding is an illness characterized by using their possessions as comfort, security and stability. Which is why hoarders want to hold onto their old boxes of magazines or sacks of undersized shirts, etc. They’ve developed emotional connection to it either as a memory of trauma or because losing it symbolizes uncomfortable change.
None of that ever applied to my kid even when he had piles of junk. He would have been perfectly content to have a maid come in weekly and dispose of the debris. That’s not hoarding, it’s just being too lazy to take your trash to the kitchen. It wasn’t hidden to keep it, it was hidden because the kitchen trash was all the way over there and throwing it into the middle of the floor wasn’t an option so putting it somewhere close and out of sight met the criteria of (a) not having to move and (b) not immediately getting in trouble for it.
In any event, it was largely solved with the addition of a trash can and expectation to empty it weekly. If only every mental disorder could be swiftly cured/managed by spending $12 at Target
Understood. Well, then, how about daily inspections? It would only take a couple of minutes to check and make him dispose of whatever trash he managed to accumulate within that one day.
That definitely does not look like an AI response, unless it’s purposely contorted. It’s too messy with all sorts of little errors. I suppose you can have an AI that purposefully makes errors, but that just doesn’t look like AI to my eyes.
The response did seem weird (and why it got zombie’d now…?) but I figured I’d respond just to note its undead thread status before anyone else added in.
In addition to the trash can suggestion, I’d note some advice that I’ve seen related to sleep issues: Don’t use your bed (and by extension bedroom) for any purpose other than sleep (or sex - as an adult):
And in my own experience - particularly when I had a tiny apartment, back during my university days, that was effectively just a bed and a TV (no floor) - I know that it put me into a state of constant sleepiness and lethargy, while I was home. I had to move to another apartment just because I didn’t like the effect it had.
Personally, I’d recommend banning him from the bedroom except to sleep. If he has to snack in the living room or kitchen, I suspect that he’ll have more energy to get up and throw stuff away.
