I welcome all advice and opinions on this. Mods, if this belongs in IMHO, I apologize.
#1 son is a great kid: he’s kind, funny, smart, has an extensive network of friends, but adults like him, too. There is much to praise and be proud of. I love him no matter what, but there is one area that I cannot abide:
his room. In casual discussions with other moms of teen boys, I’ve halfway diagnosed him with executive processing disorder (half jokingly). But we can label it anything we like, the fact remains that his room is disgusting.
Before some of you jump all over me, please know that I am not a house proud woman. Baths and kitchen need to be hygienic. I would prefer the house to be picked up, but freely admit to clutter on the dining room table and to not dusting as much as needed. The house looks (and is) lived in. Felix Unger I ain’t and don’t expect (or want) any of my kids to be that way.
But this is something else again: empty 1 liter and 2 liter pop bottles (he buys them himself; pop was axed from the grocery list in a budget move) litter his desk, the floor under his desk, under his bed. Used Kleenex ditto (recent head cold). Last time I did a major clean out (when he was in Australia) I found 12, twelve, used roll on deodorant containers under his bed. Clothes everywhere. Bits of homework, scraps of paper, pen tops, caps to flashdrives, covers to computer games everywhere. Loose change everywhere.
My policy is that if money is on the floor and I’m the one picking it up, I keep it. All that sort of money goes into a giant bank and when it’s full, I will spend it on something for the family. He knows this, doesn’t seem to make a difference (although there are no bills on the floor, I note). He has not fully unpacked his suitcase from Australia, despite having used the same suitcase to go on a church retreat a few weeks ago.
I don’t mind the clothes too much–he does his own laundry. I don’t mind some of the clutter. What I do mind is the dirty dishes and empty pop bottles and the used Kleenexes. Gentle reminders get nowhere. Nagging gets me nowhere. The come to Jesus talk re you are soon going to be responsible for your life, bupkus. Time was, I took away his computer mouse until he cleaned his room. This made him very hostile (tough), but that way doesn’t appeal to me at present.
I accept that he’ll never be a neatnik. But I have to think there is a middle ground here somewhere. Husband doesn’t care; he just shrugs and says #1 son’s wife will be there for him (and that’s a whole nother thread, folks).
Thoughts? Ideas? Rants of your own?