We once sent someone off the flight line to look for some fallopian tubes for the radar system. After a few hours of fruitless searching he ended up at the base hospital having a longish talk with a nurse who very helpfully explained female anatomy to him. True story.
There’s nothing as general as a private, or as private as a general.
But what about the general’s privates?
Archer: a person who builds arches
Arch-Enemy: a person who demolishes arches
Water is wet but not wet.
And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.
Speaking of smoke, if you’ve ever wondered how electronics REALLY work, wonder no more.
When the Brits refer to “the MP from Dorset” or something like that, does “MP” stand for “Monty Python”?
My nipples are…delightful!
Are you a craptioner?
Yeah, I like to smear fæces on the bottom of pictures.
You’ve been TOLD to stay out of the Smithsonian.
However, the MOMA tends to find my visits less objectionable.
Crane Plumbing: you stand on one leg in the middle of a bog.
Well, thank Lord Frith it’s a one-piece toilet. Those two-piece toilets take all DAY to assemble. Oh, man, can I get a urinal for MY house?
“Where you been, Andy?” Hazel asked him.
“Riding Fence.”
“What’d ya eat out there?”
“Grasshoppers”
“How do you eat a grasshopper?”
“Just snap off his head, light a match, and stick it up his ass.”
“Yeah? How’s that taste?”
“Mighty crunchy.”
For the rest of her life, whenever Hazel saw Andy, she would say to him, “Mighty crunchy.”
from The Worst Hard Time, Timothy Egan
The concept of a moral dwarf makes no sense to me.