It’s from Joseph Heller’s Catch 22. Milo Minderbinder had cornered the Egyptian cotton market and invented the chocolate-covered cotton-ball. I was reading the book late at night, and for some reason the idea of chocolate-covered cotton struck me as hilarious. I read the words over and over, laughing for ten minutes with tears running down my cheeks. 
Well, no wonder burpo was confused, you left out the word “naked”.
YEAH! Now you’re talking. Wait…what?
Hey! I can’t handle Eddie Vedder (Any songs turn you on? thread) AND naked in the same hour. Let’s discuss ice cubes.
Let’s don’t and say we did. :eek:
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that’s best
When they lay me down to die
Goin on up to the place where there are no ninjas and all my replies are posted.
Just wanted to warn people not to carry sharp objects in their pockets at the water slide parks. We just had an accident where the next person on the slide hit the object and cut his big toe off. The ambulance refused to come because it was out of their range.
They ended up calling a toe-truck.
No jury would convict me if I came there and poked you with a sharp stick. NONE.
Makes me think of Steve Martin–
When I die,
Now don’t think I’m a nut,
Don’t want no fancy funeral,
Just one like ol’ King Tut!
Do old presidents wear boxers or briefs?
Depends.
SHARP STICK! SHARP STICK! SHARP STICK! SHARP STICK! Ahh…that’s better.
Mom used to draw an invisible line dividing the back seat of the car, and my brother and I had to sit in our own area. It didn’t stop me. I’d poke my finger into his space and yell “I’M IN YOUR AIR! I’M IN YOUR AIR!”
Back when I was a kid (cue harmonica), the back seat floorboards in the car were big enough for an ACTUAL CHILD to comfortably lay down, spread out, take a nap, get Coke spilled on ya by the mope up in the seat; good times!
But what about the bump in the middle? Or are you too young to understand that question?
<Rolls up sleeves>
Now then. The hump in the middle was your (admittedly dirty) headrest. I should have said the car was wide enough for TWO ACTUAL CHILDREN to take advantage of the floorboard; one on each side of the hump.
Now go fetch Grandpa some more bourbon. :smack:
Wow, Grandpa. You sure were short.
You had to bend your knees slightly. I didn’t say I was 15!
Don’t sass yer elders, whippersnapper.
And where the hell’s that bourbon?
It’s all in the curl.
Dammit, girlie, the car was 24 feet wide, 75 feet long, had 29 cylinders, got 315 feet to the gallon, had 18 ashtrays, the trunk could hold 6 suitcases and an insulated metal cooler the size of a sofa, stocked with enough fried chicken and hard-boiled eggs to keep you on the road for 4 solid days. And when Patrick What’s-his-name slammed the trunk in that dumbass dancin’ movie, it sounded just like that and you could hear it 2 counties over…
Where’s my nitro?
soft as a downy chick!
SOFT AS A D…JEBUS, MARVIN AND JOBETH WILLIAMS!! You ain’t gettin the feather bed tonight, smartie-pants! You can sleep in the car! On the floorboard! Should be nice and comfy!