I just snorted so loud I woke up my deaf cat.
Yeah, I can’t keep this going any longer without “Grandpa” having a stroke. 
Oh, TMI, grandpa, we really do not need to know how talking to smart, pretty young lasses affects you and what you have to do to deal with it…
How do YOU know she’s pretty? And young? Dish. 
Relevant commentary from Sam the Eagle.
“One of US! One of US! One of US! One of US!”
You’re all nucking futs.
A mate of mine always referred to the actor Edward Woodwood as “Fart in a bath”.
Say his name out loud to see why.
It only works if I put my head under water.
The plus side, they couldn’t make a canoe out of me either.
That’s unfortunate because the clock won’t flush.
Every time I have to listen to Connie Francis sing, I instantly start thinking of foghorns and air-raid sirens.
Want to try a “Fun & E-Z” experiment right there in your own home? I pulled up “Where The Boys Are” from YouTube, and if you put your ear right next to the monitor–c’mon, really get it close in there, now–you just might agree with me. Ready? Here goes…
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAre the boys a…uh, oh, someone’s jabbed a pencil into their ear and on into their br…GOTTA GO!
(I blame Connie Francis)
I can scare people two cars back when I sing along to **What’s Up **by 4 Non Blondes…
*And I scream at the top of my lungs
What’s going on?
And I say, **hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what’s going on? ***
Foghorns, Foghat, not a lot of difference. Though their “biscuit and stone” album cover was pretty creative.
“I say, I say there, son: Slow ride. Take it, I say, take it easy. (Kid’s as sharp as a bowlin’ ball)” - Foghat Leghorn.
So, my room mate brings home teriyaki, but the damn place gave us no lumber. I went looking for my nice walnut chopsticks I bought years ago – and on the case, there is a sticker, “Made in China”. Arrgh, everything is from China now. Even chopsticks? Is nothing sacred?
There, there. There, there.
Does anyone know what kind of car you should rent when you take a vacation from living on a yellow submarine?
A blue Mini.
^ Nice! 
You can almost carry it under your arm.
I find it verrry interesting that when I am notified of a new post on SDMB, I see the original and not the final edited version. Sometimes the two are so different I think I have been magically transported to an entirely different thread. When this happens I celebrate by eating a cookie and yelling “Yeah, baby!”