WhyNot
October 8, 2007, 11:51am
140
Oh, my gods. This is too hilarious, I can’t believe I missed this thread before! I totally thought the punchline was, “Nah, this is just how a personal ad seeking a husband would look if bitches just told the truth!” :eek:
Oscar Entrepreneur Needs Felix Assistant
Female multiple business owner needs a top flight assistant to function as right arm, left hand and backup brain.
Uh-huh.
I own several businesses, including one in the adult industry. I have many irons in the fire, and many irons I want to put in the fire. My problem is that there are only so many hours in the day, I have only so much energy, and worst of all, I have ADD. I have many deficiencies and many strengths. I’m looking for someone who can match some of my strengths and shore up my deficiencies I need someone whois self-directed, a creative thinker, efficient, with a great memory and organizational skills. Someone who learns very readily, isn’t afraid to be wrong or ask questions, and likes to manage things. You can’t need to have your hand held at every turn, because I’m hiring you in part to hold MY hand and help keep me on track. I tend to create chaos- your job is to tame that chaose, bring order to my life, and keep me moving forward. I will be depending on you to make sure I don’t mess up.
Riiiiiiight.
Some days the job will be long, some days there may be almost nothing to do, especially after we’ve been working together for awhile and things are more under control. On those days you won’t be required to be here at all. Many things I am perfectly happy to have you do from home, so long as they get done. I don’t care so much about hours as I do about getting the work done and bringing some kind of peace to the madness.
Your work will include the entire spectrum, from helping design PR campaigns and new ancillary products to running to the pet food store.
A marriage-material mutlitasker, if you will.
I am a very easygoing person, more so the more I know I CAN be because I can trust you to get things done. (You will be working out of my home, so no smokers, but the dress code is: there is no dress code.)
Sit around nekkid reading the newspaper, why doncha?
I am very rigid about a couple of things, and honesty is at the very top of the list. If you apply for the job (I will be seeking multiple references, by the way) and I discover the tiniest fib anywhere, my consideration of you ends instantly, and that will apply to the job itself as well. A single lie, large or small, for any reason, and your employment wil be over. I can handle almost anything except lying.
I get it, she’s been burned by lying exes…
I mean, it just all works…
What that salary will be is an open question… This is NOT about punching a clock, doing some rote tasks, and going home. This is about getting pretty heavily enmeshed in someone else’s life and business.
So you tell me what you think the job is worth for you to do it. I’m looking for a pretty serious commitment, because training someone to be my second brain is time consuming: I’m not looking for someone to do this while they look for something else. I want someone who wants this job and is ready to stick with it for a good while (assuming it works well on both ends, of course.)
See? Marriage!
Keeper? Is that some new BSDM code?
Stoid , you’re not looking for an employee, you’re looking for a husband. Those cost a lot more than money.
Seriously! Check it out: