Here’s the thing: I KNOW I’m smart and funny and interesting and have a great voice and something to say and you’d be very entertained by me. And even though I’m completely aware of all that, I also appreciate being told that over and over and over again, it’s very pleasant.
BUT… I grow soooooo weary of men who get that completely, and still think that any one of the following responses is worth the time it takes me to read it or hear it (depending)
“You sound really interesting. I’d love to talk to you. I’m 6’, brown eyes, in shape. Let’s talk!” -let’s not
“Your ad is really interesting and unusual, I think I’d love to talk to you. I live in the 213 area, I’m 44, single, just looking for some fun. Let me know if I sound interesting to you.” Not in the slightest
“Great ad. Here’s my number. Call me.” No.
And so on, and so forth.
If you are smart and conscious enough to recognize and appreciate how smart and conscioud I am, why on earth would you think I would have the slightest interest in you after that kind of communication, eh?
Let me make this clear: because I AM interesting and intelligent, I find being alone with my interesting self a much more appealing option than spending even a moment with someone who has as little to say as you do, bub. Seriously. I find the idea of keeping you entertained completely uninteresting.
And while I’m on the subject, let me tell all you guys the things that make you instantly uninteresting:
-
Saying you’re bored. It’s the equivalent of announcing you are boring. I am never bored, because I get to be with me. What is someone who can’t even keep himself entertained bringing to the party that I would have any interest in? I’m thinkin’ a whole lotta nuthin’. Again, not your monkey.
-
Telling me or the world (in your own ad) that you are funny. Let me explain about funny. More than any other single personality trait, funny speaks for itself. Funny MUST speak for itself. Not least because funny is very subjective. So while many people will find you funny, many others won’t. And I promise you that I will probably NOT find you funny. So if you ARE funny, just BE funny, don’t SAY you are funny…saying you’re funny pretty much guarantees that you are NOT funny.
-
Same goes for sense of humor. (which is different than funny, and if you don’t understand that, you are not bright enough to bother about in the first place)
-
It is a rare, rare person that does NOT like to have fun. So saying you like to have fun is the definition of lame. And meaningless. And generic. And I don’t care, except that it does tell me how lame and meaningless and generic you are, so I get to avoid you.
-
Walks on the beach…WALKS ON THE FUCKING BEACH??? YOU are fucking KIDDING me, right? Get outta my face before I slap you.
-
“Fine dining” - Yer pretty special then, cuz most of us prefer Taco Bell.
-
“haha” triggers my gag reflex. I’m sure it’s just me, but I’m just letting you know. So does LOL. In fact, LOL is worse, and will probably earn you an instant deletion. Anyone who types LOL is essentially managing to project their nervous laughter into their writing, ew. (And if not, you’re simply a dork, and I mean that in a really, really bad way.)
-
Taking the time to put in your ad/profile “no game players” is jsut stamping your forehead “stupid”. Think about it.
Here’s a tip: before you put together your list of qualities, traits and interests, consider each one in this light: would most people be willing to cop to the OPPOSITE of this quality or trait in a personal ad? If the answer is pretty much “no fuckin’ way”, you can consider it a given, utterly generic, uninteresting, and completley useless in enhancing your appeal to anyone who is an interesting person themselves.
I was goingto put in the effort to explain ways to actually be more interesting and write better ads, but I’m not gonna bother, I’m just here to bitch.
And I’m done, back to work.
